R.I.P. Jeremiah 2006-2008

Group think is a mufucka! When my homies J, Bivins, Walk and Murph all came up with alias' to give to these girls. Shit, it was only right for me to come up with one too. The ideology behind the fake name was that...
If you're out with your "outside" chantel like in the mall and your main chick kim spotted you with this other girl (because we all had it like that of course LOL) kim might be like...

"Andre....is that.. What the fuck is going on andre who is this BITCH?!?"

And chantel would be all like

"Dana (yes Dana was my first attempt at a fake name but it was just so unbelievable I switched it up to Jeremiah) so this is your other bitch, you better put a leash on that bitch for I get her"

And I'd be like

Me: Hold up, hold up, hold up, girl you got the wrong mufucka, I don't know who this andre is but I aint him! I don't know no muthafuckin andre! Lets get outta here chantel! This crazy hooker isn't even worth it!

Kim: Annnnndreeeeeeee!!! Whyyyyyy!

And of course I've since seen the many many many flaws in that "plan" and the probability of that happening like that..........yeah.

-A fake name woulda stopped that girl and joey greco in their tracks!!!

So we all had these fake names giving them out to girls, and yeah it did suck having to safeguard my id's and other stuff but the excitement of the lie was like a rush.

But there was one girl who caused me to put a bullet in the head of jeremiah, Lets call her mystique cause I can't remember her name. After she came through that one time (which was crazy cause Jaguar Paw came back with my roommate while chick was sitting in the couch) we would talk and phone bone a lot..I mean alot.

So everything is set for me to come over there and spend the weekend at her place and show her what I'm stroking like for the first time. If any of y'all have sidekick lx's, then you know that if you charge it all night and you use it heavy all day, you might end up at nighttime with a dead battery. So that's what's happened with me, so I called her from lloyd's phone and was like..

Mystique: hello?

What's up it's andre!

Her: who?

Andre! What you doin?

Her: uhhh.....

Her: *click*

Then as soon as I hung up, I realized the fatal flaw...she doesn't know andre, she knows Jeremiah!
So I'm like fuck and tryna brainstorm with lloyd ways to rectify what just happened

"tell her andre is your last name!"

Jeremiah Andre...that's just stupid!

So I called her back and told her andre was my first name and jeremiah was my middle name I went by... she laughed said I was "fucking unbelievable and told me to lose her number!"

He didn't just fuck up the pussy, he fucked up new pussy with a girl who had a child and actually had goals and ambition aboput herself!

After that, I had to kill him!

and glossing over a pretty mundane tweekend.

-ate lunch at puerto rican chicks restaurant, didn't stay for dessert so now "I owe her one." Apparently she lost the baby in st.louis...I'm kinda glad in a way, but for my own selfish reasons i'm not.

-woke up saturday morning to two late night tip txts. One from entourage and another from a young myspace thundercat not worth blogging about...

- posted my Feelgood's on ebay, so if you or someone like you wears a size 12...

- I beat metal gear solid 4 in 17 hours! Who's the big loser winner? Me, thats who!


The Black Russian said...

lol Jesus Christ... Jeremiah really fucked it up for you huh?? you honestly forgot what name u told home girl lol??? why do u change ur name? anyways just keep it Andre if ur dealing with different girls tell them straight up what the deal is so they cant get upset when your with another girl.....saves you drama just my opinion

PhlyyGirl said...

Oh black russian, if only in a perfect world all females would understand that a man is "just gonna be a man". Lol

This is quite HIGH-larious.
Jeremiah should meet up with 'Holly'.
Only difference is Holly is not dead yet.
She was born about 3 years ago and she has grown into a beautiful bad ass chick. Her game is so cold that she has a LX of her own and Phree has to use the old school sprint flip phone.
It helps keep the confusion down, because the phones have two different area codes so I never get mixed up about who gets what and who's supposed to answer which phone....
Then again, I might just need psychiatric help cause clearly, my alter ego is getting a bit too strong. Ah well

Melody.Darlene said...

hahahahahah! fake names??!! lma0!! i mean i'll do that at the club knowing damn well i will never see tha doode again, but u actually kick it with these females and them no knowin ur real name!! damn andre (if thats ur reeeeal name!), thats cold! lol

Andre said...

@black ruskie

I didn't forget the name...It just didn't occur to me to announce myself as jeremiah...and why do I change my name, I honestly don't have a reason at all other than just doing things just to do them... and isn't it more fun doing things without permission..the excitement is what makes you feel alive.

Damn P that's just so smoove on so many different levels, that if I tried to comprehend it my head might just explode!

Andre said...

@ melody

if thats your real name...classic...

But is there a right time to come out with that shit? I mean if I don't tell her the first time I talk to her, then I have to just go through with it.

Demiera said...

Must be nice to just change your name for two years for no reason other than for the hell of it! I couldn't keep up with having an alter ego...I couldn't even tell someone on the street a fake name on the spot. I'd end up looking like a mumbling idiot...ah well...plus I like my name lol =P

Andre said...

But you've got the name some guys would ask you to repeat it to try and kind of get some kind of weak play LOL and plus I like your name too... and plus girls invented this fake name biz anyways!

and there was a reason for it...

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