20091030

Sweet music to my ears

I just downloaded it... and it is great... It's essentially the same GTA 4 I got at a midnight release, but it's so not. I mean the cars, characters and music and most importantly the story are different and they intersect with the the whole story line. I mean you can dance in the clubs and if girls like your dancing enough, they'll take you in the bathroom and have sex with you (just like in real life)

I've been playing for about 1:31 minutes and my addiction level is 'Happy Hour'. So with the first of many, many, many hours ahead of me.....
My final concensus is I give it...
I give it 3 out of 3 fried fish (this is the first video game ever reviewed to receive 3 fried fishes.)

I'm gonna turn off my iphone, well probably not turn it off but just viciously screen calls and geek out alllll weekend.

20091029

All the way turnt up

When I first got back to Atlanta, I felt like I was a tourist. I had never been to Atlantic Station , seen what they'd done to Lenox and Perimeter mall, and a bunch of other things... But the music was one of the biggest things. Swag this, Gucci bag that. Black boy, white boy swag... But anyways I heard 'all the way turnt up' by Travis Porter but it was a song that had to grow on me cause I always thought the beat was dope.
But Lupe got on it and scraight shitted...I hope people haven't been sleeping on him cause of the Kanye shit. But I can't wait till 'lasers' drops.



20091027

Pic Tails pt.37 1/3

I was in the market for running shoes when I came across these. I'm not really a big running fan because I think riding a bike is better but they do look cool and I do like to wear them.
Speaking of riding... I upgraded my road bike to a new hipster friendly 'fixie'. It's so light and cool looking and when I get some free time on my hands, I want to give it a ice cream paint job.

By my actions it's hard to believe that I try to be a somewhat righteous person. Well maybe not righteous, but I try to do right by people, because karma comes back around. One thing that even to this day baffled me was that even though I do some pretty bad things, God continues to bless me. I really feel like good things are happening to a bad person....

'If you sin and ask forgiveness you will be forgiven, no matter what'

I hear that and that's like no incentive to change my ways, not that I really need any or that my 'ways' are that bad. But it ties along with the one of the few things that keeps me out of church. I don't want to be a hypocrite, and be in church talking about being saved and a solider for Christ on sunday morning. When just six hours ago I was in the club doin' whatever... But I guess that probably would be better than Pastor Pillow and Deacon Comforter I commune with every sunday
I saw this a thrift store and I don't even remember what it's supposed to say?


I got the chance to see Erykah Badu and Ricky Smiley. I had made up my mind a long time ago that I wanted to go but I almost missed out on my chance to see her. She put on an amazing show at the 'Atlanta civic center' and it's was my first ever concert in a 'theater' setting. So Erykah's on stage and there are two women behind me drunk as skunks saying shit like...

"I wanna hear Honey....is this honey???.....she needs to do honey!"

"The bands not even playing, that machine she has on stage (MPC5000) plays everything, they're only on stage for looks"

"Since when did black people get so persnickety??? They don't want me to stand up and have a good time when I paid my money for these tickets!"

For the first half of Erykah's performance, people were seated with just a few people standing up. Erykah Badu sees it and is like '
damn if I woulda known people couldn't stand up and party I wouldn't of played here!'
My date for the evening 'monica' went dressed as 'nicki minaj'
I went to underground atlanta and I was walking with this chick 'kira', so this woman runs up on us and is like
"OMG who did your hair *looks at me* let me guess you right?"
Andre: .....Yeah....sure....
"I knew it so what did you use and.....''

When I first saw her hair, I thought... "mediatakeout.com..."
Since my birthday is coming up again, I decided to start on my wishlist early. I originally wanted to get some tortoise shell wayfarers, but when I tried them on, my face was waaaay too big for them. Plus they really don't suit my face like I assumed they would.

So the night finally comes and I go with 'elaine' to the party.

So we pull up and I see not one but two pink caddy's and I'm like "Damn, they brought the heavy hitters out here!"

So we go in and these glammed up ladies look at us like we're from the planet X, but we see one of our handlers and she tells us to head on back.
Going deeper into the Mary Kay compound, there's like a classroom with all these chicks in front of a mirror type contraption with all various milks and honey's for your face. After being like 30 minutes late and making a scene as the only guy in the room, I take a seat near this cute girl with a baby face and a body like amazing grace.

"Mary Kay is recession proof, think about it... people will cut out alot of stuff but they still wanna look good. Am I right?"
Listening to the spiel about Mary Kay my handler put on, it's easy to see the allure of it. Selling shit people really don't need but they will pay for cause it's nice to have. But thats the same allure the weed/dope game has. You get someone under you selling shit and come up off their come up's, and they get someone under them and before you know it you're in a paid for Toyota Camry/Pink Cadillac.

So after exfoliating and rehydrating my lips, I adjust my personal mirror real smooth like so I can get a better look at the girl behind me and we make eye contact.
I'm a firm believer in 'dancing with who brung ya' and I love what me and 'elaine' have but at the same time, we're just friends. So me and this chick talk all through the presentation through my mirror about how she wants to go and hates this shit, so I tell her "You can't leave without taking my number"
I really enjoy spending time with 'elaine'
My guitar...Every time I look at it I shudder to think I was about to sell it.

20091018

Paranormal activity

I'm gonna go ahead and say it... This is the scariest movie I have ever seen in theaters in my life. I acidentally headbutted 'monica'
it made me jump so bad, and I love that feeling of going to see a 'scary' movie and actually being scared. Every scene was intense and it didn't have any cheesy ass special effects, the title is exactly what it is about.
what it is.

Sent from my iPhone

20091015

Blowing it... It really sucks



Right now it's 1:17 and she just left... Going over the recap of the night in my head...It's like watching the dude in 'I love you man'...(if you haven't seen it click here the dude is just so fucking awkward.) Well maybe I wasn't that awkward, but shit. When people tell me stories like this the first thing I do is shake my head and be like "Damn man why didn't you just ________ "(insert smooth shit).

I mean why the fuck did we leave my house at 12:50 to go get a milkshake? Am I addicted to them? Do I have to have them? Why did I suggest we leave my warm house, brave the cold, for a fucking milkshake! So what the movie ended abruptly, that should've been a plus.. All I had to say was what do you want to do now? (or something like that) Why the fuck can't I say the things I think of now, when I should of said them?

"I'm so glad I don't have class in the morning"
Me: So you can get a early jump on the day right?
"Yeah right..."

Aside from being the only one to blame... Well not really, I mean I'm always talking about how girls should make the first move and all this shit, and I know you like me, so it's kind of your fault too! I mean you could of just torpedoed my agenda but you didn't.

The worst part of blowing it to me is the 'what ifs'. What if you didn't bumrush her out of your house to get milkshakes you didn't even get? But if if was a fifth we'd all be drunk right?
The other worst part is what she's gonna tell her friends, not that I care what they think but shit, I don't wanna be any variation of 'Let me tell you about this nigga here...' unless it's related to jumping up and down or doing something very cool/brave/sexually noteworthy.

One part of me is like 'you're a cool dude, y'all had a good time, the conversation was good, y'all laughed, enjoyed a movie and ended the night. Heck, you guys even made plans to go to frightfest! Not every girl wants to have sex after hanging out and she probably respects you even more because you're a gentleman and not tryna zoom a zoom zoom in her boom boom. You don't have to take your clothes off, to have a good time. Remember?

The other part is like "You're never gonna see her again. Will she even take your calls/txts or give you the eternal runaround?" Plans to go to frightfest? It's gonna be you, her and whatever guy she's seeing. Good conversation? That was you talking your way in, and right back out of the coochie. She came over with no draws, tells you she doesn't have class in the morning AND when she was getting in her car sighing with disappointment, She gave you a side hug and told you...
"Maybe we'll do this some other time"
Me: I'll see you then, or I'll see you on another time..."
"What?!?!"

First off you quoted a movie she hasn't seen...FAIL So what she told you translates to:
"Leave me the fuck alone you 'friend zone bastard', I look like Monica and smell like old people and you could've been all up in this! But since you can make me laugh and you know about fashion and stuff, you can either be my BFF or 'that guy who I only call to tell my guy problems to!"
You gotta read between the lines! We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time? GTFOH



Damn I blew it.
I fucking blew it... What do y'all think happens next.

20091014

O (Mary) kay kay kay




Even though I'm not really a mall person per se (I feel like I don't want to be wearing the same shit as everybody else PLUS you can find a shit ton of hot stuff to buy on the WORLD WIDE WEB) but I found myself accompanying 'elaine' to the mall. So I see a cuban girl so pretty 'other girls wanna give her a kiss' make a direct beeline for 'elaine' and say to her...

OMG you are so pretty and I just had to come over and talk to you
*winning smile*
I'm a Mary Kay person and I'm looking for face models to build my portfolio and I would love to have you!

Elaine: uh.....ok.

*Exchanges info*

Great we're having an event next week and you can bring your friend
*smiles*


So I look at 'elaine' like, 'how random is that?' For all my sarcasm and wit and jokes and shit, I like to think I'm not too jaded by certain things and I see the goodness and not the wackness.
So I'm really amped about it for her and I'm like...
"who knows what can happen this is soooo exciting!"

Even though I try not to be jaded like I said before, I'm kind of a 'the glass is half empty' type dude and so is 'elaine' so she was just like...
"Whatever you know... I know she's probably trying to sell shit, I'm just flattered to even be approached like that, did you see how pretty she was?"

20091013

The waitng room part duex


I've spoke of the waiting room before, and it sucked then and it sucks now... Suprisingly not much has changed, I still have two girls in my waiting room, holding numbers that never will get called and I am still waiting holding my number hoping it will get called.

20091008

Andre advises a loser

I got an email from a dude who was basically like, I've been trolling your blogs and you seem like a regular dude, and how he did "his thing" and wasn't a loser virgin but fumbled sometimes and wanted to change it up but didn't know where to go on a first date other than the norm. His roommate wasn't a casanova and he really didn't know anybody personally who just was a 'dating ass dude like myself'

My first thought was to send him....

"Do like me.. I take my dates in the backseat of a german luxury sports sedan and if she's lucky and I feel generous, I'll turn on the AC. But most girls aren't worth the strain on my vee dub"

But that was a very fleeting thought and after I stopped laughing, I remembered being 20 and not having the lubricous-ness of alcohol to ease your approach. In him I saw alot of myself. Whereas I had good friends to help me along, this cat just has what he reads and sees other people and he'll try and use it and flip it on some bullshit. Although in the scheme of things other people are dealing with heavier shit, I know that these girls can make your head spin, and have you all discombobulated and off kilter.

It took longer to edit the typos from my fucking iphone's crappy autotext/ my sucky typing than it did to write. .. But here's what I said to him...

Sitting here writing this, I feel like it should be read while watching those two midget twins talk about fucking the baddest chicks and driving ferraris. But I'm no cocky douche and my failures with the opposite sex make my triumphs even sweeter. I had to learn the hard way much like you are now and that shit sucks.

I always felt like I didn't wanna do the regular shit (movies, dinner) But at the same time it's just a first date right? Nope, she's gonna size you up and get a lot of general inferences from you if she doesn't have them already.

The first thing you gotta ask yourself is...." do you wanna genuinely enjoy yourself and have a good time with the chick or are you just going through the required steps like this is the sims just so you can fuck?

If it's a girl who you just wanna fuck, then keep it simple. Try to get her to your place with things like watching a movie or HBO/SHOWTIME if you have it. Then just try and go for the kill. rinse. repeat 'till you the one who buys the boxset.

But I can see you're like me or how I was and just enjoy the company of a attractive young lady then here's some shit I've found out the hard way works...


Is the chick old fashioned or new age?

I don't remember where I first heard this but, I have tried it and it does work...

'Just see if she walks ahead of you when going to the ticket counter, but she might go up and order two tickets and look at you. Or she might just buy both tickets.'

When I say old fashioned I say a girl who might be like..
"if you're taking ME out then you're paying for it all. Owe you? Are you kidding? You wanted to go out with me'

Whereas a new age girl might say "I can pay for my own shit, and you can't say I owe you shit. thank you very much" But there's so many variables there though... Bottom line don't be a cheapskate BUT you can cheesecake her all you want but remember you don't wanna break the bank tryna take a first date out. If you don't have it, tell her flat out. Because some girls will take anything you give them and you're gonna then have to open that wallet to open those legs!

Everytime I go out on a date I think of this scene at least once during the date.


Movies some might say it's kind of anti-social but yeah movies were the first place I used to take dates because you know you might be able to get a kiss, a little 'index' action, or even a mouth handjob. Or you could just be two people watching a movie.... who happen to be side by side....
Choose your movie wisely BUT at the same time see some shit you at least wanna see so you can quote it laters...


Skating depending on the chick, I mean I'm 23 and most girls can remember skate lock ins from middle school. Plus in Atlanta it's not that rare for a dude to be talking about skating. But it will work up a little bit of a sweat so keep that in mind.

Carnivals are around this time of year with haunted houses and the carnie games and you can get close and all that cause it's chilly and what better way to warm up than with body heat.

Bowling is sooo terrible for a first date. I went with this one chick and she was txting her ass off just like yours and I mean it's something better for groups or maybe like a '6th date/after y'all have sexed' But me, I don't even like bowling on GTA4, so I hate it even more in real life. On top of all that, the shit around here at least taxes the shit out of you.

If your chick is adventurous and outdoorsy then maybe you can hit a park, provided it's nice out. It's free, out of the ordinary BUT it does really rely heavily on you being able to keep a convo going and flowing. Because leaves get real crunchy and loud during uncomfortable silences!

The drive in movie theater. It really depends on the girl and for your sake I hope you can read signals or you might wind up in an awkward situation. I recently went with an awesome girl and I felt like I was back in the fifties or something.

Most of all have fun and relax, and trust your gut. If you have any doubt, there is no doubt. Let me know how it goes and if you do anything with her cause of what I said, I'll tell you where to mail the check.

-Andre

FIN

20091005

Random acts of kindness


After spending time in the morning preparing to go on a date I got stood up for, I headed a little closer into Atlanta in like the 'highlands' area and just spent the saturday afternoon riding the the bike trails that go through the park. So I stop in Ragarama and on my way out I see this girl trying to parallel park this big ass escalade in a space. While her friend is giving her terrible assistance backing in. Now the space wasn't that that tight, she really didn't know what the fuck she was doing. I'm walking past this to my car thinking "She's out here and can't drive her boyfriend or daddies big ass SUV..." So cute directing friend flags me down and is all like

'can you help us park this car?'
Me: You can get it in there.... you just gotta like parallel park it....

I'm looking at the driver and she's looking at me like 'don't wreck my shit', so I give her a big smile and say... 'I'm like that guy in the transporter'

So I get behind the wheel of that big ass truck and I'm making small talk with the driver and trying to keep it cool while her friend is out there not really helping at all with directing and getting used to the fact that this escalade ain't my jetta.
Shooting the shit with the driver while I was driving her dad's truck was like 'laughing through a graveyard' but when I did get it in there....
I hopped out of that thing feeling like that dude for reals. I started to shoot at the cute director friend because I could kind of tell there was a mutual attraction or whatever and after finding out a little about 'cammy', I told her to take my number and give me a shout.

I remember when I was a lursty ass dude young smooth casanova, I was only about getting numbers and thought that a girl asking for yours was a complete blow off. (although it damn sure can be!) I finally realized that it cut out the wrong number games,the 'he's just not that into you' bullshit and the pressure of having to be really money and wait to call...

20091002

Footloose

It's no secret I'm a Shmack groupie... I'll never forget the day I first saw their jeans and I was like '$150!?!?!?! I've never even heard of these mufuckas!" and the next thing I know I'm auditioning to be in their fashion show. I'm a person of the sun and even though it's like 67 at night time in Georgia, that shit feels like -25 to me.... So boots are definitely what I'm in the market for and even though I've got these...

I want these....

and since I found them online for hella cheap, I'm thinking about saying fuck it and getting them too! I mean I'm not to crazy about the 'bubble' in the back, I don't wanna look like a 'b boot wearing DC nigga' but I think I can make them work...
Back to Shmack though I came across these online from their fall collection and I must say 'I am impressed'. I mean I honestly never really dug Shmack's other shoes too tough like I did their jeans and hoodies, but they came correct this time.



20091001

fender bender


" I feel like I've already gone too far now and after the big deal it took to get in contact. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder because I don't remember that! Now after a conversation was had behind 'door 1' it was very mellifluously,but when the stage revolved, so did my attention. Do I just want a 'amber rose/easy anytime clothing optional girl'. But the real question is 'Have I gone too far?' It's almost like it has to happen because I can just tell...I probably shouldn't be the one but if not me...then who? But that's the twist; to do all of that, I'd have to hurt someone. I don't want to hurt anybody. ''

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