Mighty Healthy in NYC

I've been such a mysterio as of late and that is not cool beans... It seems like time is goin' by like this *finger snap*. First off I took the blue pill and stepped into the unknown by choosing not to re-up with the navy. I'm gonna miss the good friends and the good times but sometimes you gotta leave the solar system to start a galaxy. I'm gonna be 23 years old and going to GSU. The more and more I tell myself that the better it sounds. Other than kind of feeling antsy about the "transition" I've just been trying to OD on nightlife and bajango.

This will be my last hoorah with the navy y'all...It's like the end of an era of debauch and the beginning of a new one. Our ship will be going to New Jersey next week and it will suck because dirty jersey is so cold and filled with guys who look like this....

So yeah but it is a hop and skip from New York so I'll be up there with my eyes open and my wallet in my front pocket...So hit me up if you're in the NYC and yeah....


Andre = Gay?

This past weekend the club/my home away from home/escape from reality had this like anti valentines day thing or whatevers...So since Omari's punk ass blow pop boyfriend didn't wish her HVD she wanted to go out with me... So me and the fellas are in there and there are hella people from my ship or whatever, which is kinda cool cause it gives girls who may be fooled by the clark kent
at work get to see superman in his winehoused lursty glory, and let them know that when it comes to going out I'm that dude...

So I'm dancing with a kinda kuet taaaallll ass chocolate chick and I'm grinding and we start talking and stuff and I give her my number. So as we're dancing my dog comes up to me and says...

"I hate to tell you that but that's a man..."
(he told me the look on my face is priceless)
*mouth drops open but I still stay on beat*

So I look at my homeboy and I kinda just like fade back from her/him?

After that I was just kinda like really fucked up about that, I mean I was pretty winehoused but I couldn't of been that winehoused....Could I?!?!
I'm really staring hard at her/him and the more I stare the more I'm like OMG her hands do look like they open beers and stuck jars, twist off beer caps that need bottle openers and other jobs made for man hands. OMG!
So I ask Lloyd, his brother and this other dude we came with like...
"T said that girl is a dude, thats not is it?"

Lloyd: If you have to ask is it really worth it?

So I come to work on monday and the talk around the watercooler is that I'm dancing with a guy, we were bumping dicks and giving each other eskimo kisses. I'm no homophobe and being a self proclaimed metrosexual I take it in stride but damn... Mufuckas I really don't even fuck with are coming up to me about it. I mean even the chick in charge of us is like "Say it ain't so" and other jokes...
I pleaded the fifth and just told people my official statements....
"You know how when girls take birth control pills it makes them kinda gain weight and stuff, she was just taking a lot of birth control you know *shifty eyes plead for understanding* plus she's tall and shit."

"If that was a man then she had the baddest body ever"

So at the end of the workday the bastard who started it all by telling me she was a man came up to me and was like

"We just said that to fuck with you, cause she was tall as fuck"

"I've since called the chick and we're now myspace buds and we'll apparently be going out this friday rollerskating to celebrate so of my aqaurius bros B-Days! anyways.... the alleged boy in question...


every night is valentines, every day is christmas!

With valentines day right around the corner there's all this pressure to have a valentine...I feel like if I don't, then I'm some kind of loser. I've got plans to see Jason on friday with this lursty 18 yo chick I met. I don't really see doing too much with her besides seeing the movie then getting the 'pure brita water filter juice' so yeah...(the movie is terrible and she showed up with her gay/metrosexual best friend. I asked him "What movie you gonna see? We're seeing jason" During the movie her and that dude wouldn't shut the fuck up! I mean they were talking so much even black people were like "damn they talk a lot!" I walked out during the movie on her, and she txted me "what happened lol" I txted "lose my number lolcopter") then I proceeded across the street to drink ciroc until I was telling girls "take that, take that"

On the big day itself I don't really have anything set in stone. Omari said I could be her "unofficial valentine" and we can do something on sunday, "Chrissy" (the closest thing to a GF) hasn't really flucked with me as hard as she used to since I stood her up to go out with the fellas. (Which I really can understand cause if I was ironing my clothes to see a chick I really wanted to see and she called me at the last minute canceling to go to the club, I'd be all kind of hot about it). A girl "Gem" I went out with before and had/have(?) a huge crush on said she might wanna do something on saturday and she'll call me on saturday afternoon, but I told her "I'm gonna need something a little more concrete than that." Fuck I look like waiting around for a call that may or may not come? Most likely I'll go over "arychtexas' house and chill with him his beautiful daughters and his wife, watch movies and tell jokes. Sunday I'll probably be geeking out all day.


Everytime she bang bang he skeet skeet

So Adam meets this girl at the club the other night right? takes her home, girl is ready to go on the bed butt ass naked...Adam is in the bathroom giving his dick a pep talk like ...

"come on, get up

get ready. let's go"

Again I'm always habitually late on the some of the music hotness but I like to think I'm getting better... I first heard "stay up (viagra)" on that "can't tell me nothing mixtape" and I could relate cause my dick has let me down before and some girls are quick to give everything but "oral support"

So when I saw that the album was out I had to cop... The album is dope and told like a story from waking up with morning wood, wining and dining a girl and ending up in the friend zone; having a 3 pack of magnums and fuckin four times in one night, getting burnt by a chick and having said chick who burnt you come around four months later saying

"Feel my stomach, I'm gonna have your baby, we're gonna be a family I love you"

And is got one of my new fave rappers Kid Cudi so check it out, I give it two toes up!

ho is short for honey ft. kid cudi - 88-Keys


Family Values: A blast from the past

What happened to me... I used to be such a cute boy. Now when I show these pictures to girls I tell them that "This is my son, he's just turning ___ or just starting middle school." I'm such a gas sometimes...

My mom is always tellin' me not to buy all these clothes and shoes and how I don't need all them right, but she's the same woman with a 2500 ink coat hanging in the closet along with sooooo many clothes from before I was born ands stuff... SMDH

My mom is a beautiful woman and I'm glad I'm glad I get it from my momma, not taking anything away from my father cause he gave me my towering 5'12 frame and sexy chocolate smooth skin


Andre: Dirty rotten scoundrel?

This weekend I told Lloyd about the girl and "what we did" and I thought he would laugh it off and we could get a toss up going but he was really hot about that shit...I mean he even told her that "he wasn't fucking with me anymore cause I'm a snake." But he calmed down, saw the error of his ways and we're still BFFAE!!!

A girl who was all about some me/the closest thing to a girlfriend I stood up to go out with the fellas. I told her saturday morning like "My homeboys wanna go out, but I'd rather see you" which is true because her lips are very soft and kind of cold (in a good way) and she's super chill...but all the while I'm still planning to go out and calling my other friends telling them where I'll be. So she calls me at like 7 saying she's "gonna iron and be on her way" I'm looking at the clock like, "she stays 23 minutes away and the rink closes at 8pm to open again at 9-12am, and I know she's gonna wanna fool around and stuff and so am I. So that means I'll have to peace her out at like 11 the latest, so I can get in there and beat the line (this particular club closes at 1:45 but even though the time is short, it is a honey-asis in there. and not hoodrats either, I mean of course they're in there, but for the most part these girls have business about themselves.) So I tell Lloyd like..

" what the fluck do I do bro, I hate putting myself in these situations?"

Lloyd: Sometimes the birds flying away are better than the one in the hand! So you gotta tell her whats up bro...

So I called her and was like "I'm gonna keep it real, I really wanna see you but I want to go out too, I know it's kind of a douchebag move but I mean you can still come over and we can go out to eat or whatever....

"Chrissy": I'm gonna keep it funky too, I kinda figured that was the case when you told me earlier, so I knew what time it was. I just don't see why you would make plans with someone when you already had plans. I wouldn't want to go out with you now because you'd be wishing you were out so....yeah.

Me: So can I see you next weekend?

"Chrissy": Nah my girl is coming from New York and we're gonna go out and stuff...

Me: What about tommorow?

"Chrissy": I don't really do to much on sundays, so I might see my grandparents after church and you know they stay in the boonies....

Me: So I guess I'll just smell you later then..

After getting off the phone I felt very very bad....Bad and dirty, So I jumped in the shower and got myself ready for a fashion show and to party with models and stuff...

The fashion show was pretty cool and even though my modeling career hasn't popped off I know for sure that I could've walked down that bitch in what I was wearing and done the damn thing. I mean some of the dudes looked extra-ordinary and shit but hey I'm not bitter at all...

My boy's gal looked damn good in the show, and her friend who kinda looks like "Bey Bey Bey" had a body like a shotgun *bang bang y'all*

my camera let me down on the pictures but the videos are off the yazabah...

I'll prolly put them up after I watch Heroes so yeah y'all....

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