20090217

Andre = Gay?

This past weekend the club/my home away from home/escape from reality had this like anti valentines day thing or whatevers...So since Omari's punk ass blow pop boyfriend didn't wish her HVD she wanted to go out with me... So me and the fellas are in there and there are hella people from my ship or whatever, which is kinda cool cause it gives girls who may be fooled by the clark kent
at work get to see superman in his winehoused lursty glory, and let them know that when it comes to going out I'm that dude...




So I'm dancing with a kinda kuet taaaallll ass chocolate chick and I'm grinding and we start talking and stuff and I give her my number. So as we're dancing my dog comes up to me and says...


"I hate to tell you that but that's a man..."
(he told me the look on my face is priceless)
*mouth drops open but I still stay on beat*

So I look at my homeboy and I kinda just like fade back from her/him?

After that I was just kinda like really fucked up about that, I mean I was pretty winehoused but I couldn't of been that winehoused....Could I?!?!
I'm really staring hard at her/him and the more I stare the more I'm like OMG her hands do look like they open beers and stuck jars, twist off beer caps that need bottle openers and other jobs made for man hands. OMG!
So I ask Lloyd, his brother and this other dude we came with like...
"T said that girl is a dude, thats not is it?"

Lloyd: If you have to ask is it really worth it?

So I come to work on monday and the talk around the watercooler is that I'm dancing with a guy, we were bumping dicks and giving each other eskimo kisses. I'm no homophobe and being a self proclaimed metrosexual I take it in stride but damn... Mufuckas I really don't even fuck with are coming up to me about it. I mean even the chick in charge of us is like "Say it ain't so" and other jokes...
I pleaded the fifth and just told people my official statements....
"You know how when girls take birth control pills it makes them kinda gain weight and stuff, she was just taking a lot of birth control you know *shifty eyes plead for understanding* plus she's tall and shit."
or

"If that was a man then she had the baddest body ever"


So at the end of the workday the bastard who started it all by telling me she was a man came up to me and was like

"We just said that to fuck with you, cause she was tall as fuck"


"I've since called the chick and we're now myspace buds and we'll apparently be going out this friday rollerskating to celebrate so of my aqaurius bros B-Days! anyways.... the alleged boy in question...

11 comments:

Authentik.SupaFlai said...

lol, thats wicked.

they done got you all messed up in the head.
just cause she was tall.

i wonder what they would say about me, lol guess ima man too lol

Jaded said...

Funniest story I’ve heard all day. I was laughing when you said she look like she got hands that twist off jar caps. Hilarious. Listen. She’s tall. But I’m not in awe of her face. Don’t let that stop you from having a good time though.

Bow Chica Wah Wah said...

HOLY SHIT SHE IS TALL!

I'm glad she turned out to be a girl. =) lol

Dallas Black said...

Comedy. Broad is tall. I am sure you will get a chance to confirm she is a pussy cat.

The fact you backed up slow...hilarious.

DB

~SpiFFSter ~ {SFC} said...

LMAO!
Sorry, but i would/am going to do that to someone!
WOW! they GOT YOU!
Seee.. All that alcohol make you second-guess yourself..... but i dont blame you!
I always fail the Maury show game thing!...smh!

Dope Fiend said...

awwwwwwwww WOW! That was toof unny!
that dude was playa hatiiiiiiiiiiing on your parade!

hb said...

lmao! aww... they are mean to you. but it was a great joke!

kmx. said...

LMAO! Ah, reminds me of one of my friends. She's not manly in the slightest, just tall. But ooow your boys are JERKS!! Lol. It was still funny though. =P

K. Denise said...

Young..you are hilarious. I would have died once I saw you backing away slowly lol. I can see how you would question it if you were drunk though lol.

Anonymous said...

yo that's a man!

s a s h a said...

hmmm could be.. i mean she could if she wanted too..
I mean look at this girl who was in million dollar baby.. [forgot her name shiiit] anyway. she could b a guy too :\ hey it happens. just know your sure of your manhood. so fuck ems and what they say =]

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