Re-up: The big decision

The navy is giving me enough money to buy
A. Moderately priced used car
B. Two macbook airs and a 16 gb Iphone
C. Choose your own answer
and in turn I'm going to stay in and do my shore duty for three more years. I started the paper work and I reenlist on the 16th of March. I figure if I was gonna get out and go to school, why not stay in , milk Uncle Sam dryserve my country AND go to school. Plus I've been on this raggly ass ship for five flucking years!

It's crazy how I was writing a blog at about 9pm last night about what a good friend I am to Lloyd by putting him on a girl I saw first and who I kinda wanted.Going out on a double/hell date with him and her all the while thinking "It should be me!!!!".....and then at about 12am that night I was jumping up and down with said girl....twice.


Right now I'm on the precipice of a my future. I'm about to make a decision that will affect my life positivly but I fear that I'm making the decision out of fear and reluctance to change. I know that it's the easiest choice to make but I mean fuck it. Admittedly I'll be sacrificing the best years of my life but you only live twice right. I'm not one to lay on the mysterio act so by the end of the week I'll let y'all know what's up...but with some shit like this anchoring my brain, the only thing I could do is go shopping, put on some new threads and go out with my bros and do some partying.


Andre has a little boy haircut

I'm on the ship walking with my boy to get a haircut, so I walk in and one barber is like
"You getting a cut?"
My whole plan was to pull in on friday, rush and get a cut to go out that night and shit. So I say yeah, thinking it's free on the ship to just get my hair cut down to bring out the waves and then get a professional line up tomorrow really making me "the prince of tides" and they can't fuck a simple cut down can they?

I sit down and after a couple passes of the clippers I'm just like damn...I mean this dude is like digging into my hair with the clippers, like he's scooping my waves out so I'm just sitting there trying not to freak out until he spins me around and puts his hand on my shoulder to say...
"My bad"
*hands me a mirror*
Me: *looks in mirror and feels like Castor Troy in 'Face Off'*
I messed up a bit in your head cause I went against the grain...
I don't really know how to cut waves.....they're hard for me
Me: *glares in mirror* So you just let me sit down and practice on my head?

If y'all could've seen how my hair felt, I felt like 'Ye felt. The biggest patch was on the top corner of my head and it went all the way to the back of my head with sporadic patches here and there. What made it even worse was that my dog is right across from me with a good haircut laughing, his barber can't cut his hair cause he's shaking from not trying to laugh, mufuckas waiting to get cuts are laughing and my "barber/butcher" has got some shit eating grin on his face.

"I can fix it but I'll have to go against the grain and take you down to a 1 (which is like...a bal head almost)"

So I'm sitting there looking in the mirror at the archipelago this mufucka cut in my head and I say just leave it cause I don't want a almost bald head (I've got a dip in my head that I hide well with my waves, plus short-short hair doesn't suit me IMO) and he tells me "I can't let you leave like that"

Me: Nah just finish it even all over and I'm out don't cut my hair any lower.

Does your hair matter more to you than your appearance?

Me: YES!

So another more experienced barber is like "I'll finish you up just sit down I got you"
So I sit down and I'm just thinking how fucked my hair is and my weekend is gonna be, it just offsets my whole demeanor so I get my stuff and walk out thinking I'll just be doo ragging it up and using black beeswax to cover it up. Until my boy tells me how bad it looks...
"You know what it looks like?
Me: What
Like you need to get your head cut of hahahaha"

So now I'm sitting here stuck with a little boy/back to school haircut the cut your mom takes you to get when school starts after she lets your hair grow out all summer and since she doesn't have too much money to be running you back to the barber shop, she tells the barber to cut it "low but not too low"

When it's all said and done I go to work and arychtexas sees me and I take off my hat the jokes start flying..


Butterfly Effect

Maybe lina is right, (which she's not) but this might've been the butterfly effect catalyst that influenced my predisposition to exotic females/clear girls... Far from being a young berg ass dude though... I don't discriminate, I ejaculate


A streetkid named Desire

Omari calls me saying she's tryna roll out and since we haven't seen each other since last year we should meet up. So being the weekend n***a that I am we agree on a place to party tonight.

I mean I've been looking forward to going to this little hood ass club all week. After going out with some pretty boughy scene ass model chicks I think I needed a good old regular chick. I hit up H&M to get this sweater when I tried it on this girl was like
"that sweater makes you look gay"

That can't be all bad right? so with my sweater for the night I picked up my freshly cleaned earrings from the jeweler and went to get ready. My dog Smitty stays like 20 minutes away and he was tryna roll, so I call at like 6 tellin him what the plan is that I'm gonna shower and head over to get him cause I'm tryna be there at 11pm cause it's free before then and plus I'm meeting Omari and her friend up there...
So I'm out the door at like 9:30 to pick him up and I get to his crib at like 10. This dude opens the door and he's just getting out the shower! I'm like "Smitty what the fuck!" and I look in the living room and see and ironing board and I'm hot because he's always been inconsiderate of time, I'm the same way my damn self sometimes but I still hate it when it's my time thats being wasted. What made me even more hot was he was like "The clubs not going anywhere, we're gonna get there at like 11:30 and the same hoes are gonna be in there!" So I'm cussing him out and we talk about how he's only got Bill Bellamy to compare himself to for blind dating purposes while I've got Billy Blanks(?), Young Joc, Mase, Charles from Diary of a mad black woman, the dude from save the last dance, malik yoba,derek luke and anyone else who just happens to be a dark skinned actor/entertainer. Bill Bellamy and Soulja Boy

We get on Hen and Redbull (which suprisingly has no alcoholic taste, I mean it really just tastes like redbull) and finally head out after he took so long and we get in there and I see Omari and introduce Smitty to her friend who my first impression of her was that she was pretty in the club cause she's bright and has big titties and a waist like a pencil, but the make up didn't really suit her, I mean it looked like she works at MAC and OD's.
So we're talking and stuff and right behind her is fucking Jaguar Paw in the flesh. It turns out that they had somehow met each other the night before, which suprised the hell out of me.. I mean now I know how George Costanza felt...But they hit it off really well and it made me remember how small this world is sometimes.

I hadn't seen her since like last year and it was crazy cause I was txting her earlier in the day about her being "to cool for the nightlife". But her body is still like a shotgun and she still has got my nose a little bit open.
The club was bananas I almost got the business in a female bathroom stall before a bartender cockblocked me saved me, I felt kinda bad cause I was kinda all about fucking with Omari and Jaguar Paw so I made sure me and Smitty had the floor on lock.

So it's all going good till about 3 am when they bring out a breaksfast bar and it was all downhill from there. Me, omari and JP and that MAC'd out chick crush it.

Then Omari starts spazzin out from mas bebida (thats french for too much to drink) and gets too her car and tosses her cookies, smitty drops his iPhone in the vomitus and that ruins his night, MAC chick lost her purse in the club and JP ghosted out.

So I make it home at about 4 and crash knowing I have to be to work at 530. I wake up and pick up my phone and look at it and I see Lloyd's number in a call and I put it to my ear and say hello and I hear

"Andre get your black ass to the ship they're about to mark you UA (unauthorized absence=big trouble)"

I look at the time 8:21 and see all sorts of txts from my suoervisor and I'm like shit, two sticks of trident and I'm out the door flying to work. I get there and I'm good to go or whatever and the first question my boy asked me was "was it worth it"
fucking right it was



You know sometimes you just gotta shut up. There's this new guy on the ship and this chick I work with is all about the dude... I guess it's a combination of him being new (because you know that new factor adds so much) and looking fine according to her. I mean she gets giddy talking about him(what should I say to him / blah blah blah) and her and her friends all want to shoot at him. So she got a chance to sit down with him and shoot at him during lunch...So I'm standing there watching and I see her walk away with the boo boo face. So the dude finishes his food and gets up and posts up in a high traffic area so the chick will have to walk past him. Now any other time she would've went out of her way to walk past him (she's got a waist like a pencil and a onion in the back) but she went out of her way to take the long way and avoid him. I kind of felt bad for him, but you can't have a tat on your neck and be corny and swagless.

So she comes up to me an is like

"I can't believe it!"

Me: "What?"

"He's a fucking cornball...

Me:What did he do/say?

I can't even talk about it right now yo...

Me: What does he have no swag or something?

*head nod* *slowly walks away*

I really got to thinking how many girls I might've blown it with cause I said the wrong thing or just came off as a wack ass dude when the girl was feeling me or whatnot. Sometimes all you have to do is shut the fuck up and look good or you run the risk of talking yourself right out the coochie/penis.


Saw Red

I can't really imagine how it must feel to be heartbroken/dogged/played by someone I really cared about. I mean my friends say I'm a sucker for love/a woman is gonna be my downfall but whatev.... I listen to "My foolish heart"-Jazmine S. and "Doin' Time"-Sublime sing about it and I'm just like damn....

I'm 23 years old and I can say I've never been in love, I've been in like a few times and the last time it left me listening to "Just Friends" Amy Winehouse on repeat and feeling like shit for a spell. So When I listen to "Kiss me on my neck" Erykah B., I'm like that's all I want. I mean I'm tired of telling girls what they wanna hear and having them feel "some kind of way about me" when I know damn well I can't reciprocate. I can wear a mask but that shits not real at all. I think I just like the feeling of being around a girl who likes me but that feeling only lasts so long. My bro used to tell me fucking with all sorts of girls gets boring after awhile...It does and it doesn't. I want one girl to hold me down but at the same time variety is nice too...


Negotiations finally ended with some stubborn assholes and after a hostile takeover
www.thathotfishgrease.com is now mines!!!

Don't have all the shit I read and like up yet, but yeah... I might change the layout or header who knows but that will all have to wait till I hit land again cause these DOD computers pretty much suck...


$60 drinks and the like

Out to sea doing circles in the ocean and I've got hella shit on my sidekick but in the meantime here's some 2K08 fuckery....
Went out with the big homie Rafi aka "Puerto Rican 50 cent" and it was my first time going out with "bravo". I went with "omari" and it felt good to have her with me because rafi's chick is a model (she modeled in the perky turkey fashion show) and her agent supposedly booked her and her model friends a appearance at the club. But it kinda sucked her her friends were hella stuck up...not really stuck up but these fiona apple lookin scene hoes just wanted to be scene/seen, they thought they were too good cause they had some champagne and were in vip cause of their agent!

Like me and the team would be dancing in vip and they were looking at us like we were out of place and shit, and when I did dance with one of the models it was kinda wack cause I'm a lil' winehoused and I wanna grind not just be a "human accessory". After they got some liquor in them they were pretty chillax though...

Me and Omari go to the bar to get to it and round sharing is in effect, so I order a double grey goose and pineapple and a little bit of grenadine(the nelson muntz) and a double crown and coke... you know what that fucking bartender says to me?

60 fucking dollars!!!

I look at omari and she looks at me and I'm like "I'm gonna get these drinks and the next round is on you, but after this we're gonna drink up all these fiona apple lookin hoes champagne!"

All in all a cool night

-saw a pregnant girl in there, not like "OMG pee on the dipstick pregnant" I'm talkin about "mufuckas rubbing your tummy pregnant, asking you whens the big day", and I saw her at the bar, I told omari, "I'm gonna go over there and waterboy tackle the shit out of her if she orders a drink!" I watched her like a hawk and read her lips...she ordered a apple juice.-saw my homeboy B aka Vinnie from Naughty by Nature, it's been almost a year and he's still cooler than a box fan.


Picture me rollin

Who knew you could have so much fun goin round and round in circles? When my dog nick told me about goin roller skating I had no idea it would be like it was. On the way there we ran into a dude from high school and it made me remember how small atlanta is...so we make it out to Cascade and it's a car show out there... I see all these thug ass dudes and the girls dressed up super fly! I said to my dog
"There's no way these mufuckas come here to skate!"
I was in there and kinda kicking myself for not going roller skating in middle school...
I see my dog is real nasty at skating so I'm like show me something!
Nick: I'm just learning myself.
What the fuck ever..
But I'm getting the hang of it and we went twice and I only fell once! I can now gain speed without lifting my skates of the ground and do a 180 turn. If only I could skate backwards...
I think back in Va, roller skating is might replace the movies for my dating...but is roller skating to intimate? I think it kinda is... What do y'all think



in white King aka the lady killer J aka "hustleboy" Lloyd and Andre

So my new years was kind of a bust...it was a fucking bust but not a complete one...

We were outside of this club at about 11:45 and to the bouncer I ask...
Me:How much is it to get in?

It's only a dollar.
I'm thinkin a bill to get in the fucking club!?! I've got it and it's not really a thing, cause I've spent a hundred in the club getting winehoused and whatnot, but I wouldn't wanna pay that much just to get in the club at all, I mean I could buy three pairs of Levis and a pack of fruit of the loom t shirts. So I was kinda hot that we missed out on partying' on NYE. So we jetted from there and went to Lavish Lounge at about 1 something cause we just wanna be in somewhere and the parking lot was looking kinda suspect...so the bouncer was like
"Yeah people come late like 3...come in."
Whatever doorman...

So from there we went to the Blue Flame and even though scrip clubs aren't my fortay...I'm always awed by them/the girls in there. I mean I don't wanna just stare at the coochie and the vulva and stuff, I do but I don't, it's such a conundrum. So myself and Lloyd's lil bro "Hustleboy" went and sat down in the vip area which was just an area blocked off with like streamers hanging down. So I'm sitting down and this chick Kim comes and sits next to me and we start talking about how I'm "just visiting" and scrip clubs aren't my scene, all the while her and her girls are getting girls and dancers and shit... Which is crazy cause someone was just talking/blogging about metro females...Hmmm

So she tells me "You just need to find a bad ass scripper, I'll find one for you."

She comes back with this semi keut dark skinned chick and she had a ass like a water buffalo and a stomach like "slept in Mc Hammer/Genie pants" I mean it was actually such a turn off cause she'd be turned around tooted up showing the cakes and the labia and then she'd face us and I'd see her stomach..... Her stomach looked like how my mouth feels when I forgot to brush my teeth in the morning. But I grinned and bared it and I told her whoever picked that girl needs to get headbutted!

So I'm still on that same couch talking with Kim and "Hustleboy" and Yung Ralph "the juug man" comes in the vip area.

Ralph is a hood famous dope boy ternt rapper in the same vein as say Gucci Mane, and it was cool just seeing dude in there chillin and kickin it with us cause I actually think dude is nice, plus he was buying scrippers for Kim and her friends.

It was crazy though cause as I was getting a lap dance from Kim, I was more aroused by her and her friends who were fully clothed regular people with respect for themselves and not scrippers than I was by the booty butt cheek naked women. Crazy right. The Blue Flame closes and me and "Hustleboy" get Kim and her friends number before we leave to find some trouble to get into. Then my boy "King" gets a call from this dude who apparently had some girls and a hotel room and didn't think to give us a call till he got mollywhopped at the club tryna break up a fight and in his post ass whooping fugue state he sped off in his car, made a short left down a one way street and smashed into a parked car. He "needed" a ride from his hotel to the gas station where it was parked and wanted up to help him push his car. I was refreshed but still drunk from a backseat nap in the back of the car and I got out and saw this....

I laughed so fucking hard.. I mean it's 5am, cold as fuck and his car is in a puddle of transmission fluid, his fender is poking into his rim and he wants help pushing the car and asks Lloyd to push his truck with his car. What made it more funny was that the girl from the Blue Flame "hustleboy" pulled wanted him to come over and smash and he was missing out with this foolishness.

I went to sleep/woke up to this cute little puppy wuppy please don't let the looks fool you, he's a fucking little monster...

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