A streetkid named Desire

Omari calls me saying she's tryna roll out and since we haven't seen each other since last year we should meet up. So being the weekend n***a that I am we agree on a place to party tonight.

I mean I've been looking forward to going to this little hood ass club all week. After going out with some pretty boughy scene ass model chicks I think I needed a good old regular chick. I hit up H&M to get this sweater when I tried it on this girl was like
"that sweater makes you look gay"

That can't be all bad right? so with my sweater for the night I picked up my freshly cleaned earrings from the jeweler and went to get ready. My dog Smitty stays like 20 minutes away and he was tryna roll, so I call at like 6 tellin him what the plan is that I'm gonna shower and head over to get him cause I'm tryna be there at 11pm cause it's free before then and plus I'm meeting Omari and her friend up there...
So I'm out the door at like 9:30 to pick him up and I get to his crib at like 10. This dude opens the door and he's just getting out the shower! I'm like "Smitty what the fuck!" and I look in the living room and see and ironing board and I'm hot because he's always been inconsiderate of time, I'm the same way my damn self sometimes but I still hate it when it's my time thats being wasted. What made me even more hot was he was like "The clubs not going anywhere, we're gonna get there at like 11:30 and the same hoes are gonna be in there!" So I'm cussing him out and we talk about how he's only got Bill Bellamy to compare himself to for blind dating purposes while I've got Billy Blanks(?), Young Joc, Mase, Charles from Diary of a mad black woman, the dude from save the last dance, malik yoba,derek luke and anyone else who just happens to be a dark skinned actor/entertainer. Bill Bellamy and Soulja Boy

We get on Hen and Redbull (which suprisingly has no alcoholic taste, I mean it really just tastes like redbull) and finally head out after he took so long and we get in there and I see Omari and introduce Smitty to her friend who my first impression of her was that she was pretty in the club cause she's bright and has big titties and a waist like a pencil, but the make up didn't really suit her, I mean it looked like she works at MAC and OD's.
So we're talking and stuff and right behind her is fucking Jaguar Paw in the flesh. It turns out that they had somehow met each other the night before, which suprised the hell out of me.. I mean now I know how George Costanza felt...But they hit it off really well and it made me remember how small this world is sometimes.

I hadn't seen her since like last year and it was crazy cause I was txting her earlier in the day about her being "to cool for the nightlife". But her body is still like a shotgun and she still has got my nose a little bit open.
The club was bananas I almost got the business in a female bathroom stall before a bartender cockblocked me saved me, I felt kinda bad cause I was kinda all about fucking with Omari and Jaguar Paw so I made sure me and Smitty had the floor on lock.

So it's all going good till about 3 am when they bring out a breaksfast bar and it was all downhill from there. Me, omari and JP and that MAC'd out chick crush it.

Then Omari starts spazzin out from mas bebida (thats french for too much to drink) and gets too her car and tosses her cookies, smitty drops his iPhone in the vomitus and that ruins his night, MAC chick lost her purse in the club and JP ghosted out.

So I make it home at about 4 and crash knowing I have to be to work at 530. I wake up and pick up my phone and look at it and I see Lloyd's number in a call and I put it to my ear and say hello and I hear

"Andre get your black ass to the ship they're about to mark you UA (unauthorized absence=big trouble)"

I look at the time 8:21 and see all sorts of txts from my suoervisor and I'm like shit, two sticks of trident and I'm out the door flying to work. I get there and I'm good to go or whatever and the first question my boy asked me was "was it worth it"
fucking right it was


Taryn "Skinny Genes" B. said...

"Andre get your black ass to the ship they're about to mark you UA"

^^^ didnt even get a chance to brush your damn teeth Mr.Party Guy lol.

and lol @ the MAC'D chic...she does look like she works at mac cosmetics for real though.

Lina said...

Im not used to going out and not getting none at the end of the night, so I'm tryna figure out how you had a good time...Im kidding. Funny this is, if Im drunk and I see someone puke....done effing deal...I gots to go, cause I will not be to far behind.

P.S. Sweater is hot...I don't think it makes you look gay.

kmX said...

Psh that sweater is cute! It does not make you look gay. & Lol @ ya boy Smitty he sounds like a bunch of my friends. Bitches have no care of time in the WORLD. We're supposed to meet somewhere, I'm there already, I call and they're not even dressed yet. Ugh.

MAC chic looks kinda creepy. Her makeup is a lil draggish. Glad you had a good time though! & You should've like, brushed your teeth on the way or something my dude. Lol.

Video Vix[o]n said...

yo, I had to deal with a bunch of "Smittys" this weekend; thats another story.

H&M is the spot. needs to hit that up soon.

vomiting is contagious. tragic chic's iphone fell in it. whatamess.

two gums and good to go...
good shit. gotta recover quick. i know the feeling.

crazy ass movie life of yours that you be in. smh.

demiera said...

LMAO. One day imma grow up and be cool like you lol.

Yeah chicks makeup was WAY too much she should have reserved that for Halloween or some other such occasion.

At least it was worth it =]

Dallas Black said...

Hey man,

Rule number 1: Dont fuck up your money

Rule number 2: See rule number 1

Make sure you take care of business.

I am just pissy that you found something that fit your ass up in H&M...everytime I roll in there they are like..."Im sorry but the largest we have is a meeejum..." Fuck that bitch I need a US XL!


Jaded said...

Awwww....wook at wittle Andre wit his backpack like it's the first day of school...lmao. You look like one of those hipster kids. tres cute.

That girl is pretty but she does have on quite a bit of makeup...

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