in white King aka the lady killer J aka "hustleboy" Lloyd and Andre

So my new years was kind of a bust...it was a fucking bust but not a complete one...

We were outside of this club at about 11:45 and to the bouncer I ask...
Me:How much is it to get in?

It's only a dollar.
I'm thinkin a bill to get in the fucking club!?! I've got it and it's not really a thing, cause I've spent a hundred in the club getting winehoused and whatnot, but I wouldn't wanna pay that much just to get in the club at all, I mean I could buy three pairs of Levis and a pack of fruit of the loom t shirts. So I was kinda hot that we missed out on partying' on NYE. So we jetted from there and went to Lavish Lounge at about 1 something cause we just wanna be in somewhere and the parking lot was looking kinda suspect...so the bouncer was like
"Yeah people come late like 3...come in."
Whatever doorman...

So from there we went to the Blue Flame and even though scrip clubs aren't my fortay...I'm always awed by them/the girls in there. I mean I don't wanna just stare at the coochie and the vulva and stuff, I do but I don't, it's such a conundrum. So myself and Lloyd's lil bro "Hustleboy" went and sat down in the vip area which was just an area blocked off with like streamers hanging down. So I'm sitting down and this chick Kim comes and sits next to me and we start talking about how I'm "just visiting" and scrip clubs aren't my scene, all the while her and her girls are getting girls and dancers and shit... Which is crazy cause someone was just talking/blogging about metro females...Hmmm

So she tells me "You just need to find a bad ass scripper, I'll find one for you."

She comes back with this semi keut dark skinned chick and she had a ass like a water buffalo and a stomach like "slept in Mc Hammer/Genie pants" I mean it was actually such a turn off cause she'd be turned around tooted up showing the cakes and the labia and then she'd face us and I'd see her stomach..... Her stomach looked like how my mouth feels when I forgot to brush my teeth in the morning. But I grinned and bared it and I told her whoever picked that girl needs to get headbutted!

So I'm still on that same couch talking with Kim and "Hustleboy" and Yung Ralph "the juug man" comes in the vip area.

Ralph is a hood famous dope boy ternt rapper in the same vein as say Gucci Mane, and it was cool just seeing dude in there chillin and kickin it with us cause I actually think dude is nice, plus he was buying scrippers for Kim and her friends.

It was crazy though cause as I was getting a lap dance from Kim, I was more aroused by her and her friends who were fully clothed regular people with respect for themselves and not scrippers than I was by the booty butt cheek naked women. Crazy right. The Blue Flame closes and me and "Hustleboy" get Kim and her friends number before we leave to find some trouble to get into. Then my boy "King" gets a call from this dude who apparently had some girls and a hotel room and didn't think to give us a call till he got mollywhopped at the club tryna break up a fight and in his post ass whooping fugue state he sped off in his car, made a short left down a one way street and smashed into a parked car. He "needed" a ride from his hotel to the gas station where it was parked and wanted up to help him push his car. I was refreshed but still drunk from a backseat nap in the back of the car and I got out and saw this....

I laughed so fucking hard.. I mean it's 5am, cold as fuck and his car is in a puddle of transmission fluid, his fender is poking into his rim and he wants help pushing the car and asks Lloyd to push his truck with his car. What made it more funny was that the girl from the Blue Flame "hustleboy" pulled wanted him to come over and smash and he was missing out with this foolishness.

I went to sleep/woke up to this cute little puppy wuppy please don't let the looks fool you, he's a fucking little monster...


Anonymous said...

The puppy a monster? Not with that sweet widdle face. :)

Glad your New Years was fun. Happy 2009!

Jaded said...

Wook at the wittle puppy!!!awwwwww. It kinda looks like a ST. Bernard...but wayyyyy smaller of course.

a dollar=$100??? Is that what the kids are saying? I am so sick of people trying to de-value my money to spend more. N.O.!

That car accident prolly woulda had me hollerin' too. I cant even front. Shitty way to start the year for him though...my question is...why he aint call his insurance company? They'll usually take care of towing.

A.M. said...

AWWWWWW can i have your puppy!!!!

Can leave it to you andre to tell us a flyy ass story. U did quite a bit on New year huh.

& DAMMMNNNN to ya friends car...that shit is effed up

Happy New Yr boy!

kmx. said...

I read that junk like only $1?! That's why people go clubbin all the time...but oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh I get it now, lol.

Um yeah, I sympathizewith your friend. His ride needs to be re-created, pimped isn't even the word. & Awh, look at the lil puppy, he's a adorkable!! =]

Not matter how much you think your New Year sucked it was better than mine! Happy New Years =)

Andre said...

Don't let the smooth taste fool you. Please...
Well it wasn't his car...dude was borrowin it to come down here from alabama and he called the dude who's car it was and was like "I owe you a new fender dog" understatement of the (new) year.
Said dude was ridin down here to pick up/see his truck and he got stopped and taken to jail on an open warrant.
Yeah I mean it was interesting yeah, but I wanna be kissin a PYT on new years or popping Andre champagne somewhere classy you know.. There's always 2k010 (lord willing)
You're here alive and prosperous, so you can't have done too bad...

Video Vix[o]n said...

her stomach was like morning breathe? hot damn, lmao. thats horrible; then she's grinding on you? id be aroused by the walls more than that shit.

wow @ that car crash, and you that nig to laugh. I would have been tight, but then again, shit is kinda hilarious.

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