The L word

I was gonna hit this one club called Arch angel in another part of town but when I got to the tube station I found out I mighta gotten stuck out there, and I'm not one to be winehoused and lost in a unfamiliar city and shit..

So I run into two random ass chicks at vauxhall station... This one had a bottle of wine and a cup like a fucking wino and she's just knocking it back...

So I ask em what's hot being all and tell them about my dillema and they're like you can come with us to my sisters rave...the area my grandparents stay is apparently a LGBT haven, and this girl comes right up to the chicks and is like

"Are you lot straight?"

So we head to the club and we're just talking and they ask me where I'm from and I'm like Atlanta

"Oooohhhh I wanna go there so bad I love TI, but I wanna wait till I turn 21"

(It seems like Atlanta is like the land of milk and honey for everybody...I mean mufuckas who are fucked up and not doin' to much in thier city will be like "yeah I'm gonna move down to atlanta make some moves and be straight down there..." I say in my head "don't think it's all starburts and skittles, Atlanta is just like NY or CA, if you don't have your shit together it'll eat your stupid ass up and spit you the fuck out!")

so anyways the dark one is choosing on me, so I'm like how old are you...

"I'll be 18 next sunday"

*record scratch*

By that time I already had my arm around her walkin real close cause it was brick as hell outside, so I just was like damn...

So we get to her sisters spot and the dark skinned chick (her name is like Kakomi or something I honestly forgot it as soon as she told me) her demeanor changes, chick is mad as fuck cause the music is "funky house/warehouse anthems/rave music" I mean chick is really sitting there lip poked out, legs crossed, arms folded pouting like a mufucka! So I'm like tryna shoot at her and get her to smile but she's seriously 38 hot about being there. So she cusses her light skin friend (LaLomi or something, I forgot her name too and was just callin' her LaLa all night) out for dragging her there knowing she doesn't like that type of music, but LaLa had to stay cause it's her sisters shit, plus she didn't have enough to get back home on the train... so Kakomi ends up having to catch a £30 cab back after spending £20 already to get down here to be somewhere she didn't even enjoy... so hearing all this from both of them I'm not gonna waste my breath/time tryna talk to this sour ass girl so I'm just like
"I'll just see you around or whatever...

Kakomi: "You met me at a really bad time.....*wall of ice*

So in my mind that tells me, I'm gonna fuck with your homegirl who's tryna stay here so catch your cab....

I mean I really couldn't get jiggy with the music, nor the dancing. I mean maybe if I was rollin I would've appreciated it alot more, I mean I'll listen to it maybe while I'm driving or geeking out or surfing the internet but as far as being out and having a good time and dancing to it... I'll pass.

So I'm out there doing the "glow stick dance" with some chick and La comes up to me and says to me...

I wanna to fuck her then fuck you!

Me: Twat did you say?!?!?!?


Me: *I know she can't be sayin what I think she's sayin* When, Now?


Stupid ass sexy LDN accents...

After that I just peaced out and went home and drank myself stupid on...


Jaded said...

hahaahah! I want to fuck her and then fuck you!!


I want a vodka and redbull!

If that aint you channeling what you want to hear then I dont know what is. Happy New Year Andre!

Lina said...

Happy New Year Andre!!!! Have as much fun as possible there in London Town.

AndI swear you have the best stories.

PhlyyGirl said...

ROFL@ vodka and redbull.
Only you Dre, only you.

Happy New Year Babes!

Miss Toya said...


Dope Fiend said...


looooooool i swear u killed me with this one

*record scratch*

I want a vodka and red bull! lol....you give me JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKES!

xoxo nuff love babes. Happi new year even tho i fb'd you that already, lol!

hb said...

LMAO!!!! accents are crucial!! you was hearing what you wanted to hear!

but ha... you're party nights are always interesting. when i go to clubs i'm usually like that kakomi girl, pouty and upset for being there.

Dallas Black said...

Yep...enjoy London my friend. Get some bangers and mash..then get liquored up and walk the streets...only way I was able to deal with it. FYI, I found the Indian food to be the bomb and the Nigerian chicks to be diggable.

Have bloody fun you cheeky monkey!

Dallas Black

Video Vix[o]n said...

about to be 18? whoa... awkward.

forgot their names? nice. sounds like a me.

LMAO. really dre? fuck her and fuck you = vodka and redbull? classic.

i actually tried saying it to myself over and over, and i can see how you could of heard it. then again, who wouldn't of wanted to hear that?

only in LDN TWN.

happy new year man, better luck next rave.

Taryn "Skinny Genes" B. said...

'somebody' totally heard what they WANTED to hear. I bet the imagery in your mind became a massive train wreck when you realized what she really said.

Mwahahaha...fantasy annihilated.

Truthful Trish said...

I swear out of all the blogs i read your stories are #1 lol they crazk me the hell up each time andre happy new year hun

~SpiFFSter ~ {SFC} said...

this story is hilarious!
BRO its okay!...
it happenes to everyo...wait...
maybe just you...but its okay! LOL!

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