20080902

He had a gun to my fucking head!




Here I am trying to enjoy my ruined labor day (I had to work which defeats the purpose of the day, so fuck labor day!) and as I sit down to enjoy my hot salsa, tortillas, and just surf on my sidekick.
I see him.
And he sees me.

He’s one of those nice guys to a fault who works in my department and is one of those people who will follow you to keep a conversation going - a fucking conversation hostage! His demands are an ear to bend and a shoulder to cry on!

Normal people convobortions like...
“yeah….......”
"ok......"
“Oh that’s cool………”
and my personal favorite…
“ daaaang……..”

Notice the periods indicate silence, which is accompanied by closed body language, and a head nod as I slowly resume what I was doing. They just don’t work on this conversation hostage! He’s like a herb...

the friend that no one likes. So he crosses the twenty feet zigzagging through tables mind you to come over and sit down with a “siiiiigh” like he’s found a rest haven to rest his weary body. I had my sidekick in my hand and I was contemplating faking an elaborate phone call with a plot and characters and the whole nine, but I figured that he’d see I was engaged in sidekickery and wave it off.

I should’ve faked
the fucking call.

6 comments:

Fluff The Artist said...

LOOL! And knowing, is half the battle. XD

Lina said...

This was hilarious!!! I know people like this...lots of them...good thing I can start to tune people out after a certain point....otherwise I'd probably have a turrets moment and blurt out, "Shutthefuckup!!" and it would be all fast and shit, with a head spasm on the side.

Stew said...

now you know next time to fake that damn call. you will be much happier next time

queenbee said...

lmao, i work with this old guy like that...like he just stops at my desk and lingers and evntho i'm giving him one word answers, he don't get it...if i fake a call, he waits!! ridic

Andre said...

@fluff
Fuckin right!

@lina
I was in the bank when I read that, and I died laughing. I don't know why people insist on not getting these hints!

@stew
That muthafucka ruined my little five minute vacation...

Demiera said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this tragic interruption of your precious break time and sidekickery!

Next time he starts mouthing off about his problems tell him "Calm yo bed...I don't wanna hear that SHIT!"

He should leave you alone after that =)

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