20081010

How Andre Met Lloyd pt.2 : Paradise Lurst



I tell Lloyd about missing the ferry and I'm like "we gotta find something now". So I'm in Terminator scan mode looking... When I spot three white chicks coming out of a bar.
1. looks butched out, piercings in her face and shit, with those JNCO jeans that make you look like your floating!

2. is pretty as hell and just looks abercrombie-ish

3 Nicole was cute and had a nice body and looked like the loose one.

I went for 3.

So I go over with the smooth talk. "My name is Jeremiah, Yeah I'm a Seal/Captain of that ship out there, Hell Yeah I've killed terrorists before..."Three Kings" was loosely based on me, I shot at Bin Laden" you know basic after club jive talk. They didn't believe any of my bullshit but they liked how I said it!
So Lloyd is lettin me do all the talking and that works fine cause liqours got my mouth on autopilot. So we all make introductions and Lloyd introduces himself as...

"J.Southstar, but you can call me southstar"

J-fucking Southstar...Lloyd!

We had talked about fake names one day at work and the theory behind them.... and when he told us that was his fake name, we cussed him the hell out. So I'm lookin at him like he's a damn fool repeating this shit to these girls!
They ask him to repeat it again to I guess see if it sounds as ridiculous as it did the first time and it does. So they invite us to a lil get together to drink beer, and us with no way back "home" have no choice but to go with the flow.
So I walk ahead with nicole and leave "southstar" to fend for himself with butchy girl and preppy chick. So we walk and rap a tad and she's like...

"I hope you don't expect anything tonight"

Me: nah. I mean you're cool and I'm cool so you know whatever right?

"Yeah"

So we finally get to nicole's house, and butch chick parts ways cause she's gotta go home. So now it's me, nicole, preppy and lloyd. Just from seeing how, preppy is kinda unintentionally blocking me by hanging around nicole, I KNOW "southstar" isn't on his job with the preppy. I'm not suprised cause I mean "southstar's" dressed like a thug (tall tee, baggy jeans) and most preppy white chicks don't go for that and she was one of them.

So we all get in the car and we begin a uphill descent into a winding pitch black mountain road with two girls we met like 45 minutes ago. We finally arrive at a lake front cabin that looks Camp Crystal Lake worthy, and there's two trucks full of white boys!---------------
So I'm like oooo-k, and assess the situation :I see these white guys in two pick up's just milling around, it's pitch black and we're in the middle of nowhere and nobody knows where the fuck we are. I check my sidekick 3...no signal. Great.
So when we get there me and "southstar" give each other a look like "oh shit", So I pull him aside and I'm like
"Whats up with your chick?"
southstar : She ain't even giving me no play, say somethin' to her!
"Like What?"
southstar: tell her I like her!

Lloyd/southstar, come on now bro! How the fuck would that shit look.

So preppy chick apparently knows one of the white boys and leaves with him... so we greet the other two white guys and they're pretty cool...or so it seems right? So I'm like "yeah wheres the get together at or whatever", and they point to a island about a 600 yards out in the middle of the lake where I can see a fire burning.
*WTF!*

Me: so y'all got a boat or something to get out there right?"
"Yeah we do." *points to a fucking canoe*

I look at that shit like there's no fucking way me, nicole, lloyd and these two corn fed white guys are getting in this damn canoe. I mean it's pitch black and it's like 3 football fields to this island! Hell nah!
The fuck I look like!

will the boys get in the canoe? will they be acosted by the two white guys? Will andre quench his lurst? Find out in How Andre met Lloyd pt.3 :Lurst in translation

17 comments:

PhlyyGirl said...

ROFL @ this tv cliffhanger..
ALl I hear as I read it in my head is *duh duh duhhhhhhhhhhhh Tune in next week girls and boys to find out what happens next.*

Your boy is a damn fool for the southstar alias though. Clearly Holly and Teddy need to get together and smack the shit out of Mr. Southstar

Lina said...

J Southstar...so like do black girls go for that too...

I think somebody got a bit of storyteller in them...cause Im ready for the next part.

And can I say that I simply adore Gemini septogon...Andre, your the best.

A.M. said...

LMAo ya story is better than reading those Harry Potter books lol. Can't wait for part 3. and i know u got ya ass in that little ass boat...lol

I really didn't know guys made up names too...I'm Samantha in the club, when I don't wanna talk to ya ass, or when I'm just feeling funny :)

A.M. said...

LMAo ya story is better than reading those Harry Potter books lol. Can't wait for part 3. and i know u got ya ass in that little ass boat...lol

I really didn't know guys made up names too...I'm Samantha in the club, when I don't wanna talk to ya ass, or when I'm just feeling funny :)

A.M. said...

LMAo ya story is better than reading those Harry Potter books lol. Can't wait for part 3. and i know u got ya ass in that little ass boat...lol

I really didn't know guys made up names too...I'm Samantha in the club, when I don't wanna talk to ya ass, or when I'm just feeling funny :)

K. Denise said...

yeah so that name..that wouldnt work even if it was real...but stuff like this only happens to you for whatever reason lol..

You're stories are always hilarious though.

Andre said...

@phlyy
Sound fx aye....I'm gonna have to steal that idea and make it my own...

@lina
Nah..ihe beeter not use that southsats shit on a black girl...cause to them he's "slim dro"
I like gemini sepatgon to but "vixens tales of erotic abandon" are giving it a run... I can't wait for the next erotic tale!

@PM
Guys use fake names or aliases for a few reasons. But mainly cause dudes got a girl and y'all might know each other...and samantha huh?

@D.kenise

I mean sometimes good things happen to bad people, or it could be right place right time.

Demiera said...

I feel like I'm reading the best damn novel of my life lmao...This is so interesting. I want to know what happens next!!

And I was dying at J Southstar. I love how this dude thinks he's the shit with that wack alias...at least "Jeremiah" is a real name...

Super Dave Van Buren said...

lmao... Don't get on the boat!!!!

Nice blog man.

Miss Toya said...

Just stumbled upon your blog and I must say that this is one interesting story. I was cracking up the whole time! Lovin' it!!

Jaded said...

OMG. Did you get in the canoe??? Did you fool around with Nicole? I'm sooo excited. lolol

thee dumb flyest. said...

lmao @ "i went for 3". that had me rolling.

Video Vix[o]n said...

oh baby, lmao. agree with phlyy. when i said this shit was a show, you really went hard with the cliffhanger.

I bet ya ass got on that canoe. what else you gonna do? can't wait for part 3. bring it.

Taryn "Skinny Genes" B. said...

get yo ass in that canoe and stop complaining :-)

iCandy21 said...

wait...lmao@slim dro! he tried it with the names...like really really tried it lol. and how he gon be ur folks, and can't even get ol' girl to stop the blockin? AND ya'll crazy as shit if ya'll got on that damn boat lol

hb said...

LMAO! OMG OMG you're stories are the best!
southstar. shiiit. i would have laughed in a dude's face if i ever hear something like come out of it. oh man.

and... this is a freaking huge ass cliffhanger. i really wanna know if you got in that canoe...

queenbee said...

imma need you to stop with the damn cliffhangers! lol

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