Nothing louder than the silence of an unsatisfied woman...

I always say you talk about shit and you start to smell it... I was talking about P.E. and it fucking happened... I'm not really trippin though because it was with the "girl not worth blogging about" so yeah...
Anyways they removed blogger from the list of unauthorized sites on my ships LAN!
So now I can sit in the shop read blogs and browse party pic sites, browse forums and just fuck off on the internet 'till my hearts content increase my production tenfold, by staying current on my training and rate specific qualifications!

I never really talk about my job, I'm kinda like chandler bing. So here's just some pics from my time aboard this extension of american terrorism might!

This is a CIWS (see wiz) or close in weapons system...it fires like 4500 rounds per minute, and the bullets are about the size of a toilet paper cardboard roll... When it fires you can feel your soul vibrate

Helo's were just testing there flares while we were out to sea...

Oh man, our ship got a distress call from the Celebrity X cruise liner for our medical facilities. We have a fully functioning hospital with dental and surgery and the whole nine...So we sent our small boat out to get the guy, fix him up and send him back.
These are Osprey V-22's and they are supposed to combine the best of both worlds, but in flight they look more like they'd make a good sequel to black hawk down!
It's Magnus Von Awesomness the 4x worlds strongest man! He came on when we were in Iceland... Iceland is very high priced and not as much fun as I thought it would be... I paid to much for liqour and the strip clubs were far from european! When we were in Philly the tides got kinda high and they said we were gonna scrape the Delaware bridge. We came hella close but didn't. I went to this club in philly called chrome and them philly gals gets down! I saw the spot where Beanie punched somne rapper, I can't remember who on broad st.
When we were in the Red Sea the cap'n called a swim call and we sank the ass end of the ship down and went swimming. I tried to dive of the back and clipped my foot something fierce!
It's that guy from chili's/applebee's! He came onboard to cook some shit and judge how well our own cooks can cook. He apparently had a shwo on food network but at the time I hadn't the foggiest who he was!
Thanksgiving 2007, a time to eat, tell good stories and jokes and just enjoy the 'itis

its tiffany fallon playboy 2005 playmate of the year..she came onboard and I was like ok..I guess she's aight..Then I saw her all dolled up and wearing something kinda nice..I was like Zaammn, somebody actually had her playboy and brought it for her to sign. She handled it quite well.
Speaking of Philly, it's that guy who owns Geno's, the best place for a cheesesteak in Philly...He made cheesesteaks in our galley like a slave.
Aw man..We stopped in Puerto Rico and I had plaaans for the manosas that night! But the first night I had duty, which meant I couldn't go anywhere. So that night we get a message to respond to Jamaica cause hurricane felix might hit it, but instead it hit Nicaragua and we went to respond.
More of Felix relief efforts...See Ju Ju, the government isn't always bad...trust and love your Gov't!
Celebrity X guy being brought on the ship.

Denmark was very cool...We met these real cool danish chick who wanted to fuck me and this other white guy I went out with brains out, but we had to be back at 1am and lloyd was being a biggity biggity BITCH...We're in a bar, three of us three of them. Me and the other dude go for the attractive ones and leave the undesireable on for lloyd...SO he doesn't wanna take one for the team.
Fleet Week 07... I met the most beautiful girl here. Asia NVR FRGT. Met up with my big sis and she took me to like prince st, canal st. chinatown, flight club. I found out the answer to a ? I had for the longest... What do NY'ers do in the club? Harlem Shake? Dame Dash Dance? Chicken Noodle Soup? Nah them mufuckas get down..Me and lloyd were in that bitch in our white's shirts unbuttoned grinding on them hoes boy, we had to be back at like 2 and my phne died and lloyd knew we were late...So were running back to the ship at like 2:50. I come up with a plan: Lloyd got to drunk and didn't wanna come back to the ship and I took care of him like a good shipmate and risked being late to not leave him behind. Kinda fucked up, cause he couldn't go out anymore, but I could...
Halifax...This club thier called the (liqour)Dome. dollar drinks. 'nuff said. Met some cool girls there angela, Bobbi Jo NVR FRGT. Got a chance to chill with my boys and just talk some real shit with them too!
Our captain get a well deserved pie in the face!
It's the Philly Dildo pleasuring a female sailor.

Around the world and back to loved ones... Being out to sea makes some people crazy, with people getting dear john/jane letters, being gone for 6 months coming back to a 3 month pregnant wife... Aww man.


Jaded said...

Hey!Your job seems/ looks pretty damn awesome! I know that guy from the food network but I cant remember his show...it's 'pose to be like rock star edgy cooking

And you know what you gotta do to access blogger right?!?! YEP!
use a proxy. Me being such and awesome person found this site for you:

If that don't work try these:

I can't stand when jobs try and make you work and shit.

PhlyyGirl said...

ROFL@ Jade showing you how to beat the system! Ain't you sposed to be a lawyer girl, How you know bout all this illegal shit?!?! LOL

I would love to travel. Looks like you had a wonderful time!
Ya'll got big...guns. LOL
Lemme hold one. Just in case, you know I still gotta beat this charge and what not. LOL

Andre said...

So you just wanna get me jammed up huh? They apparently moniter that sort of thing (a few myspace/facebook/porn freaks got jammed up for that shit).

Something Fieri, I remember just having a little interaction with him and he reminded me of Poochie from Itchy and scratchy.

iCandy21 said...

lmao @ that entire first paragraph. but ur job looks cool...u probably have much more fun doing hands on stuff than i do sitting at this damn comp all day and getting everyones flunky work. BUT i am thankful to have a job lol

Andre said...

I forgot you're still a hard criminal...remember the trick is survival is to beat somebodies ass the first day or become somebodies bitch! LOL

Zay The Gr3at said...

word, seems like u neva have a dull moment at work bruh !

Demiera said...

Not gonna lie this sounds pretty damn cool... you get to meet cool people (if you didn't know who they were) and go all sorts of places! Sounds like a great job to me...

And LMAO @ Lloyd not being able to go out no more. Serves him right for not taking one for the team. Next time he won't be so selfish! ;)

Bow Chica Wah Wah said...

You seriously make me laugh =)

And BIG UPS to New Yorkers in the club! I love partying in that CITY!

Taryn "Skinny Genes" B. said...

shooting guns, blowing sh*t up, flying aircraft...wearing popeye the sailor man outfits and eating spinach. What more can a guy ask for...

im glad you actually showed pictures..sheesh

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