20081002

How andre met the green fairy

In my winehousing expeditions I try and throw up in private but there have been a few public humiliations... The worst was me and lloyd in the room with two spanish mañosas. Before we went up there I drank half a bottle of absinthe, after abstaining from alcohol for about 2 months. Before I got caught slippin and got ganked for my laptop and iPod there was a series of pictures of this night with me drunk as a fuckin skunk, and a fucking video too! I was getting slapped and telling them not to slap me anymore, even Lloyd backhanded me for ruining the night...this is the only surviving picture. I was very very drunk but on my feet and coherent, holding up the very thing that put me down!


We get in the room and lloyd goes on the other bed and starts jumping up and down and as soon as chick lays me down and starts to put her mouth on me the room starts spinning! The only thing I could say is "chupa chupa..." So Lloyd switches girls and this one tries to put a condom on me but my dick said "no no it ain't gonna happen."

I'm laying back enjoying what she's doing to me, when the room starts spinning faster and faster... I feel it comin' up from my guts and I push the girl offa me and I run to the bathroom and projectile vomit.... in the shower on the toilet, the baday. Everything!

So I'm butt naked tryna tell lloyd to keep fucking don't worry about me, but the girls are freaking the fuck out!


El ha tenido que a mucho en beber! ayuda a su amigo! "

I'm not really one for blacking out, mostly because I don't drink like that..and when I do, I can see my limit and teeter on it... But the last thing I remember was laying back on the bed, and getting my clothes put on me, being outside prarie doggin' it, apologizing while I got slapped and gut punched by my "friends"!

The next day I woke up the next morning and my shmack jeans I only wore like twice before were ganked. My glow in the dark dunk's worn for the first time were lookin like bo-bo's, and I saw Lloyd and he told me I did something I shouldn't have done... I denied it of course... but hey absinthe is a hell of a drug!

10 comments:

Jaded said...

This was funny for several reasons (1) You couldn't get it up. I started to DIE laughing...like out loud forreal.
(2) You were ass nekkid hurling your lunch all over the place
(3) That picture makes you seem like a super jovial drunk

You and lloyd seem like a freaking blast!!!

Melody.Darlene said...

where the hell is that damn video?!! and absinthe?!! omg everytime i drink that shit (which is illegal in the states mind everyone else reading this) i end up swimmin in a pool in my undies! hahahah! that shit makes u horny! lma0

Video Vix[o]n said...

[absinthe] is one hell of a [drink] man. you and lloyd seem to be crunkin it up.

I remember i drank mad shit and, having to take a shit, sat and knocked out on the toilet. i wake up minutes later to vomit on everything. sadly, i was the wrong way on the toilet. classic.

hb said...

omg. lmao! i never heard of that drink, and i would rather not try it hahaha!
but um... yo... where the hell do ya'll get these girls from!?!

Andre said...

@jaded
There's nothing funny about drunk dick at all!!!!
I was a fuckin mess for reals, chinese food and absinthe and walking around all day in the heat don't mix apparently...

@melody
The dude who ran off in my jetta and hit me up for my ipod and laptop is enjoying those pics right about now! and melody is right y'all absinthe is illegal and it causes insanity. it tastes like licorice which I hate, but the more you drink the less you care!

@video V
You sir are quite disgusting! LOL
I am proud to say I have yet to shat myself, and I don't think I should be that proud of that though..should I?

@Hb
these are two respectable girl who just want to engage is safe sexual debauchery with two young black studs. is that so wrong?

poison.ivy said...

WOW!!!!

lmao!!!

Authentik.SupaFlai said...

ahhhh absinthe is the best. im not one to get pissy drunk, because im a tough female and hold mines. but that shit i cant hold but so much. lol like melody said it makes you horny indeed. lol.


btw,your stickers are prolly as good as mine....liar

Lina said...

Shawty...I could party with yall...except my black outs dont come with public puking and embarassment...that shit comes with extra crazy shit and me not sleeping.

Dallas Black said...

A half a bottle of Absinthe? nicca are you crazy? Gawwwlee man. I was laughin at the prairie dog comment..I unfortunately had a mental image. Why did you get ganked? I am getting to comfortable here in Helsinki where if you drop your wallet the person who finds it will spend 4 months tracking you down to give it to you..and may pay you for the inconvenience...not the states tho.

Nothing like a cute girl vomitin...no matter how much listerine you make her drink I dont want her mouth near my lil pablo...ok ok maybe once...tehe

iCandy21 said...

this is too much! lol...now ive had bad drinking experiences, but none even come close to topping this one! i want my girl to try some absinthe, but isn't the only place its legal in the US is New Orleans??

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