Live action saturday night blog

Blogging live from granby street, in semi real time...

Damn I can't believe it...I'm crossing a lil street and walking behind a car turning left. So I come out from behind the car cautiously and cross, when I see this silver avalon or accord making this high speed left turn about to hit me! I wish I could describe in words how cool the jump I did to evade that car was! I mean if I hadn't of jumped like I did...this and future posts would just be notes in my sidekick. So after I land and the driver screams "sorry", I turn to this dude who was walking behind me and I'm like "did you see that shit?!?"
Dude bro: oh wow man I can't believe that shit, you like jumped over that car!
Me: that shit was crazy right!
Anyways
I need a GF..and not just as a home base to be able to have a air about myself that's says to girls I talk to on the side "I don't need to fuck you, I've got a chick at home....so I could take it or leave it toots!"
I'm talkin certified GF material , she could be kinda slutty, cause I'm no angel my damn self, I don't think she could be under 21, so that rules out Puerto Rico and the "girl not worth blogging about" who's 18 and talkin to me about spending the weekend and not being scared of dick and stuff to me on the phone, and I don't even know her name! I never saved it in my phone. I think it rhymes with a female body part or household item?

I'm at this dead ass night club about to go to anther one in search of this..and kickin myself on the way there alone with my thoughts about all the girls I kinda turned my nose up at who really wanted to build something... I mean I'm a non traditional - traditionally semi attractive dude and I'm cool and I've got a wit sharper than a rapier! So I can be kinda picky with who I want to be with to a certain extent...
A swat team of bad hoes just walked in 23:36, paused to pose like they just hopped off of the next bus. The one in the AA liquid leggings has got these other hoes in here hatin! I'm secretly hoping that one of the girls is "jazzy girl" and I can tell her how I've grown since cinco de mayo!
No such luck!

The birthday girl is in the boxing ring of the club and her team is working the floor, all eyes on them type shit.

Anyways... while I was laughing at some girl in a scrunch skirt who looked like a sucked on sweet tart or like a damn speed bag. One of the bad chicks team members fell on the dance floor.

So yeah I mean I'm gonna have to find a GF or die y'all. I just got a members only leather jacket (which I manifested) and I wanna drape it around a girls shoulders so she can inhale the vintage smell of rich mahogany leather. I want a girl to eat kiwi and seedless grapes with after we quench our lurst. I ruled out tundra this g freak that Lloyd and numerous others have ran up in...but just kinda ruled her out though cause her baby angel face hides "that christina ricci, chain me to the radiator itch".
If I get drunk enough tonight I'm gonna dig through the trash can with the late night apologies and promises. Prolly not though, I'm still me and I've got my dignity. Seeing this birthday squad of broads, makes me think, I've gotta do it ginormagantuan for my birthday (Nov.7). I'm talking house party 6 big!
I'm outta here.
This next spot is full of philipinos and trendy AZN's..I did pull a tall "clear girl" with my hot dance moves by the bathroom though. She turned 27 today and we made out a lil bit. Do people even still call it makin out anymore?

I hate this fucking Get Crazy song 0:08 and they play that knocked up song that I never knew was a song..."Shwiiiiinng oh shit there she go she shake it like egyptian" 0:18 I remember seeing that seen in knocked up and thinking, I wonder what wack ass nigga made this song for the movie!

0:59
Jaguar paw txtd me and she is in this club I was in earlier tonight. Even though I'm tired of dancing with AZN's here, I don't wanna go back over there.
I hate dancing with girls who can't stay on beat and wanna do their own thing. I call it doin too much! Should I get off beat and try and enjoy the dance to their strange between the groove rhythm, or just keep jigging on beat while missing out on her offbeat asian ass? Or just turn her face to face and hold her still put that meat on her and give her a whine up? Dancing should look fluid and mellifluous to onlookers I believe, that's why I use my thorax whn I dance. The few times I danced with JP she was good for doing too much sometimes and that sucks. If I was with my squad here tonight, I would just dance with this AZN for a second then just walk away from her.
The clubs letting out and no after club fuckery.
I'm just gonna go back to my car, I've got some calls to make and I need to focus on nothing but driving home.
1:55
Home. Safe and un-DUI-ed...even though I promised myself I wouldn't ever DWI after that sep 11,2005 wake up call! Shit happens.

The King of Silence

For reals this week has already shaped up quite terribly... and if something happens later on down the line, I will look at the 23rd of september and rue that day!

-Slush fund...running low...1st of the month, $250 awaits me WTF?

-Because I'm feeling vulnerable, I asked some of the girls I've been talking to scary questions and got back some scary answers...some questions remained unasked because the answer is written all over their face, and of course some ?'s are better left unsaid.

-That accident with that fuckboy from maryland, raised my damn insurance rates. The chick who was in the car had the nerve to get out after I hit him and was like
"you should slap his ass"
I'm not a fighting' type dude, but I've been hitting the gym. Plus we were on the strip (Va Beach main strip) at about 10:30. I would've worked his slouch sock with the b-boots,bubble vest wearing, Go-Go music listening ass in front of everybody.

-On that gym note, I've lost 23 pounds! I felt it, but didn't really notice it until all my jeans and uniforms were hella loose, and people at work were askin me if I was on crack! I feel good though, I haven't been this in shape since ashley / jacksonville.
My secret is a super unhealthy diet of fasting, drinking shit tons of water and eating tortillas and salsa. But the downside of that is I've always got that "Mccain-itis", I work my arms and shoulders so much and don't scretch I can barely raise my arms to my face or above my head. The upside of that is that the next chick I jump up and down with I'm gonna short-short long the shit outta her!

-Speaking of jumping up and down , I set me and lloyd up for friday, with the girl I met at last weeks wack ass house party and her best friend. With gas around here like $105 a barrel, I'm glad she's all about some Dre and coming through. It sucks she leaves on the 30th cause she's cool, keeps it real and she's got those bratz DSL's and a body like a shotgun *bang bang y'all*

-Speaking of body like a shotgun, I talked to my light skinned ace for a hot minute and he asked about JP, I told him wha gwan and he was like...

"She's gonna let you keep going out with her and when you try to see whats up with it, she's gonna be like y'all are just friends or just play you to the left. Leave it alone!"

Is it good advice? I don't know..but even though I don't think she'll do me like that, I'm no bologna sandwich either and I just stay woke.

- "It's true that you can't turn a hoe into a house wife, Well listen shorty maybe I don't want a house wife.
They say that you a freak I'm thinking that they bout right, cause that pussy's so good and your mouth tight"

That song describes this girl Tundra, a certified toss up I'm considering talking to perfectly. Lloyd advised me...

"She's a smut and If you kiss her you kissing my dick blah blah blah, you better not take her out etc. You better hit in a week or you flawed."

I feel like I get down too. I mean I'm a single guy. I do what I please and I wouldn't want some chick throwing that shit in my face (even though girls secretly like that). To me that whole past shit is just that... I'm 22 gonna be 23 in november, I been outta high school for a minute, I could give two shits about that bullshit. Now if I'm tryna marry the girl it would fuck with me a bit in certain situations, but it wouldn't change how I saw her if I was really feeling / loved her. I don't wanna get married but this girl Tundra is beautiful and from central america or so she says, so I'll see what happens with that. Who knows, maybe instead of a good girl who does freaky things that wants to play fuckity fuck fuck games, a scraight freak is what I need...

Am I a sucka ass dude for that? I mean fuck it lets get vulnerable right?

A lil 2L;2R but Enjoy your weekend and the debate!

Chatty Cathy

- I'll be right back y'all, my other table asked for take out cartons and I just plum forgot like 4 times!!!


- y'all know we've got like every game playing on tv right now, I love the redskins!

- what time is is y'all? ten a clock already *woot* I get out of here in a hour, well not get outta here I gotta wrap silverware, fill the salt and pepper. Did y'all know that pepper has to be on the right, because if a blind person came in they would expect the salt to be on the right!


Jaguar Paw's homegirl tells her that happy hour starts at 10 at fridays, even though my better judgement told me that no happy hour starts at 10pm, I went with JP anyways because I just enjoy her company. Anyways we go to Friday's and get seated and the most annoying waitress in the world serves us...

Lina said...

"otherwise I'd probably have a turrets moment and blurt out, "Shutthefuckup!!" and it would be all fast and shit, with a head spasm on the side."

I came close...so very close.

I get no kick from champagne!

"If you wear that Gieco caveman vest, it'll be memorable for all the wrong reasons!"

-Arychtexas



My first night of "domestic displacement" has me questioning my taste in fashion. and thinking that
First off fuck that!

My style is very conservative-ALT and on point, very street couturish kinda blipsterish just without the bright colors and tight ass jeans... so when I have to actually step out of that style to go to a different type of place, I'm at a loss for style! Luckily Arych helps me avoid fashion "fo paws" with his keepin it too real criticism

I went with my puerto rican dude and met JP at guadalajara's, it was my first time going there since my fiasco with jazzy girl...the club left a lot to be desired at first but it was free and I only really came up there to see her, when I saw her salsain' and droppin it' she looked like...

We danced, I went like 56% and she went 34% so yeah...

One ? For y'all though, If you see a dude who you know enough to "dap up" and say what's up to at work, get thrown out of the club, and you didn't come with said dude, and the guy who came with said dude knows his boy was thrown out and is still salsain' his ass off in the club.

True or false. You have no reason to stop partying?

Captain senor mouse

Mom:Andre... there's someone here to see you
who?
Mom:Come and see
Rawr!

Instead of enjoying perculater and wu-tang videos on youtube I'm interupted with some mysterious bullshit!
So I go out and I'm ready to jut say KTHXBI to somebodies unannouced ass, till I see a cute ass lil' chocolate chick with a bob that actually looks good...
then my moms all like "this is Shay, she's been trying to meet you everytime you came here but you'd always miss each other...she's about your age I think. Yeah, her aunt stays across the street. She worked at the bank of america in krogers right there. You might've seen her there, she's a manager of another one in snellville now. She moved out to snellville recently and she doesn't really know anyone.

I swear if I was lightskinned I'd be turning red! I mean I hate akward situations to begin with and here my mom is hooking me up like I'm a prepubescent shy boy and adlibbin everything me and chick says like she's jeezy or something. I couldn't come sideways at her like I wanted cause of mom dukes is just watching me, so I just asked some general knowledge questions; she's jamaican, 25 has her masters in human resources and she wants to be a diplomat when she grows up.

So to leave this circus of akwardivity, I make a store run. It's rainin hella bad so I get a umbrella and walk chick to her car and as she gets in she's like "you can get my number from your mom (pause) if you want."

On a completely not that different note "Puerto rican chick'' calls me and tells me how great puerto rico is, how next time I've gotta come with, and how when I get back she'll be back a week later blah blah blah... I'm sitting there talking to her and I know that when she gets back she could be my easy anytime clothing optional girl. Then I remember she's pregnant with another man's spawn... plus there's JP, I went out with before I left and "she didn't make me miserable, or anxious, or ill at ease. You know, it sounds boring, but it wasn't. It wasn't spectacular either. It was just good. But really good."
So yeah...

change gone come

Right now I'm about to make a mistake... one I can stop, but the lurst won't let me stop... it's only now I realize what I need to do. I was doing it before I went to J-Ville and met Ashley and I'd say since I've gotten back from there I've fallen off both mentally and physically... But from now on no more.. It's funny that I start this on 4/21. Actually it's quite ironic...
I now see I've made a huge mistake in the seduction process.... Now I've read the art of seduction and by no means am I a perfecter of the art, but I do know a little bit. And a little bit of knowledge can be dangerous... A girl likes to not know your intentions, meaning no girl wants a guy who is or seems predicatable. For once I'm not gonna go into tremendous detail but I tried to skip the seduction process even though my intentions weren't just to fuck her I really wanted to hang out with her and get to know her or whatever but I exposed my intentions instead of concealing them, Making any relationship which probably will be nothing more than a tense strained friendship and I'm like fuck that you know. So to all y'all out there always conceal your intention when it comes to courting but that just what's on my mind this sunday night....

Saturday Night Fever

Tonight was a crazy night y'all... I'll gloss over a big part of it involving a certain young lady but I will start off by saying that.. The mind can build an image of a girl to the point where you're like damn! But reality is always a let down, not really a let down but it will shatter the image real quick. Like JP for instance, now before I say what I was about to say, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Because I've only really kicked it with her at the club, yeah we rode around from mall to mall one day but WTF. So I've never really been with her in too social of a setting, and what if what my boy Rich says is true? If a girl is boring then the guy needs to compensate for that with his carisma. You can't have two people who are laid back or in other words boring. Now in giving her the benefit of the doubt I really truly can't say she's boring, so that is yet to be determined.. Anyway the day started with me watching Rome then running errands So by the time I went to go out and see a certain girl who will be unamed, I come back and JP my roomate and his homeboy are drinkin and dancin... so I had recently called a girl in my phonebook whom I hadn't talked to and she wanted to meet to refresh her memory on me. So mainly my night was based on going to the club, so my dillemma was either stay and try to put in work with JP, go to the club and find a chick who's talkin about what I'm talkin bout or go meet up with Angel the chick I hadn't talked to in awhile. So I stayed and danced with JP and took some pretty cool pics... then my partners I was goin with changed plans and went to another club so I ruled out clubbing for the night, and from the vibe I was getting from JP, I ruled her out so I put my eggs in this Angel girl to redeem my saturday night... so angel is like I'm gonna meet a friend and come see you.. So she calls me and after a lil convo we met in the K mart parking lot. And we talked, she was cute a lil small but she had a nice lil body on her. I'd bring her around the boys and walk in the mall with her... so she's like I'm cold and I toss out a invite to the crib and she respectfully declines. So here I am back at Square one, dressed up with nowhere to go...

T.G.I.F.

Today was a pretty chill day... Oh yeah some egotrippin muddasucker tried to jump fly with me this morning because he's got a lil' rank... But I kept my cool and things went my way... After that I went to a change of command for my captain, It was boring as hell to say the least... After that I helped my boy Rich out at his new house or whatever... and then I spent like 3 hours getting my car clean, it's been long overdue cause of all the rain or whatever but there is something relaxing about just me and a car and a job to finish. Reading that it sounds corny to myself but oh well. My best laid plans fell through and I'm now watching Rome, which is a damn good series check it out if you get a chance. Oh yeah I talked to JP tonight and who knows y'all, I could read all the Iceberg Slim and Robert Greene and I never would figure these women out, but I still do have fun trying to.

The waiting room....

The fucking waiting room... it's the worst place to be... I swear to you it is, I don't mean some room waiting to see a doctor or some shit like that... I mean the limbo of calling somebody and texting somebody you want to talk to and getting no response. It's so frustrating to me, because I know that they're seeing missed calls and texts but just ignoring them...
Now before y'all think I'm some kind of stalking, lameazoid I'm the type of person who if I send a chick a text at 4pm Monday and call later that night at like 9pm if she doesn't answer or respond then I feel like I'm in the waiting room, because I'm probably not going to call her until like thursday or until she calls me. Just to be money
A lot of things I do make me a hypocrite because I hate being in the waiting room and as I write this I've got two girls in the waiting room... and I feel like shit kinda when I see them call and I let it just ring to voicemail or whatever, but I take sleights to my character very seriously and I refuse to be THAT guy. But I really wanna get at this girl ( It's my roomates co-worker JP BTW the girl from friday night lights) so I'll just see how it goes and wait till she calls me when it's my turn...