Chatty Cathy

- I'll be right back y'all, my other table asked for take out cartons and I just plum forgot like 4 times!!!


- y'all know we've got like every game playing on tv right now, I love the redskins!

- what time is is y'all? ten a clock already *woot* I get out of here in a hour, well not get outta here I gotta wrap silverware, fill the salt and pepper. Did y'all know that pepper has to be on the right, because if a blind person came in they would expect the salt to be on the right!


Jaguar Paw's homegirl tells her that happy hour starts at 10 at fridays, even though my better judgement told me that no happy hour starts at 10pm, I went with JP anyways because I just enjoy her company. Anyways we go to Friday's and get seated and the most annoying waitress in the world serves us...

Lina said...

"otherwise I'd probably have a turrets moment and blurt out, "Shutthefuckup!!" and it would be all fast and shit, with a head spasm on the side."

I came close...so very close.

The baby

This is a situation that occured at the begining of 07 but started around august of 06... I met a girl, and she really was all about me, I mean all about some me. So I can't even stunt, it went scraight to my head. So the first night I go over there I miss the obvious signs like...

1. her ducking and hiding when her door opened (we were in her complex parking lot)

2. her refering to school very vaguely


So were outside chillin' on my car and then she's like let's go to the side of my house where I look at the stars. *wink wink* So we go over there and start messing about, and before the lurst completely took over I had the prescense of mind to run to my car, dick harder than termite teeth and get a mag... So we jump up and down outside and when I finish and pull out I see just a ring of plastic around the shaft lookin like my dick hulked out of the condom. then she says I feel it dripping down my leg!

This can't be happening to me!

So after that I freak out and get reassured by all my friends that she's probably not pregnant and i'm just freaking out. So I actually talk to her talk to her about this shit cause it's serious as hell to me, and I come to find out she's 18, and got kept back because of a earlier pregnancy, and her father is like a assistant pastor of thier church...

So my ship goes on a surge to nowhere from late august to december and it's a perfect distraction, untill I check my mySpace and she's send me a message like

I know you got other shit goin on but I'm pregnant call me when you get a chance.

So thanks to Rych with his wishy washy advice I go against my better judgement and call, I ask her scraight up if she's sure.. and she says she's a gazillion percent sure...and I BS about goin over there, untill the drop date comes and I lose my nerve. I've got her family blowing up my phone "You should be here, she's having your baby! yada yada yada"

I don't show up at the hospital till like 9 and I see the baby and feel...






Nothing.
Nothing at all.

So for about a month after that I foster a "hate" relationship with her and the baby and her parents. I told my fucking mom and she in turn told my grandmother! I hated driving the 30 mile drive through a tunnel and over a bridge to see them. I hated faking like I cared for that child. I mean I was really having some dangerous thoughts concerning that child and that really scared me, and that's a lie they made me feel good to think about. I was scamming on her much more attractive sister every time I went over there (which made me feel like a piece of shit!) I even hated fucking her cause she'd put the baby to sleep and play fight with me 'till I was aroused...I even forsaked my lifestyle to buy a thing where the baby lies down and hit all this shit with lights and sounds and shit and a swinger / rocker.
So going out to sea was a perfect escape for me, until one day her dad is like you still haven't signed the birth certificate yet... So I tell him "I dont know if I should because the child may not be mine!"

So I get a child support summons after a escape from reality at sea... and that's reality in my face! I always saw the child as a ball and chain, a A 18 YEAR BALL AND CHAIN! So I go to the building and in front of her family deny paternity and get the test.

So we get DNA testing done and the results get to her before they do me, I get a text hella early in the morning saying "It's not yours,don't tell my parents!"





I had the right of mind to cuss her and her high and mighty mom out and her holier than thou dad, and last but not least this pirate whore from whore island who atried to pin this viscious lie on me! But my homegirl stopped me and said "she's 18 with two kids by two different dudes, what more can you do!"