The King of Silence

For reals this week has already shaped up quite terribly... and if something happens later on down the line, I will look at the 23rd of september and rue that day!

-Slush fund...running low...1st of the month, $250 awaits me WTF?

-Because I'm feeling vulnerable, I asked some of the girls I've been talking to scary questions and got back some scary answers...some questions remained unasked because the answer is written all over their face, and of course some ?'s are better left unsaid.

-That accident with that fuckboy from maryland, raised my damn insurance rates. The chick who was in the car had the nerve to get out after I hit him and was like
"you should slap his ass"
I'm not a fighting' type dude, but I've been hitting the gym. Plus we were on the strip (Va Beach main strip) at about 10:30. I would've worked his slouch sock with the b-boots,bubble vest wearing, Go-Go music listening ass in front of everybody.

-On that gym note, I've lost 23 pounds! I felt it, but didn't really notice it until all my jeans and uniforms were hella loose, and people at work were askin me if I was on crack! I feel good though, I haven't been this in shape since ashley / jacksonville.
My secret is a super unhealthy diet of fasting, drinking shit tons of water and eating tortillas and salsa. But the downside of that is I've always got that "Mccain-itis", I work my arms and shoulders so much and don't scretch I can barely raise my arms to my face or above my head. The upside of that is that the next chick I jump up and down with I'm gonna short-short long the shit outta her!

-Speaking of jumping up and down , I set me and lloyd up for friday, with the girl I met at last weeks wack ass house party and her best friend. With gas around here like $105 a barrel, I'm glad she's all about some Dre and coming through. It sucks she leaves on the 30th cause she's cool, keeps it real and she's got those bratz DSL's and a body like a shotgun *bang bang y'all*

-Speaking of body like a shotgun, I talked to my light skinned ace for a hot minute and he asked about JP, I told him wha gwan and he was like...

"She's gonna let you keep going out with her and when you try to see whats up with it, she's gonna be like y'all are just friends or just play you to the left. Leave it alone!"

Is it good advice? I don't know..but even though I don't think she'll do me like that, I'm no bologna sandwich either and I just stay woke.

- "It's true that you can't turn a hoe into a house wife, Well listen shorty maybe I don't want a house wife.
They say that you a freak I'm thinking that they bout right, cause that pussy's so good and your mouth tight"

That song describes this girl Tundra, a certified toss up I'm considering talking to perfectly. Lloyd advised me...

"She's a smut and If you kiss her you kissing my dick blah blah blah, you better not take her out etc. You better hit in a week or you flawed."

I feel like I get down too. I mean I'm a single guy. I do what I please and I wouldn't want some chick throwing that shit in my face (even though girls secretly like that). To me that whole past shit is just that... I'm 22 gonna be 23 in november, I been outta high school for a minute, I could give two shits about that bullshit. Now if I'm tryna marry the girl it would fuck with me a bit in certain situations, but it wouldn't change how I saw her if I was really feeling / loved her. I don't wanna get married but this girl Tundra is beautiful and from central america or so she says, so I'll see what happens with that. Who knows, maybe instead of a good girl who does freaky things that wants to play fuckity fuck fuck games, a scraight freak is what I need...

Am I a sucka ass dude for that? I mean fuck it lets get vulnerable right?

A lil 2L;2R but Enjoy your weekend and the debate!

That was four years ago!?!

I think these two pictures are like the epitome of growin up! I mean yeah I'm still on that bullshit sometimes, yeah I'm still a slave to the lurst, yeah I still wanna be that dude, but in moderation though.


Circa 2004

Yes it is a tall tee with scooby doo with a grill on it (Shouts out to arychtexas for the hot shirt) yes, I do have my sidekick 2 case showing to these hoes, yes, I look like BOLD lettering and yes I do look like a wack ass nigga...but back then you couldn't tell me nuthin.




I don't know how many words I'd have to put here to fully describe the years betwixt and the growing I've done as both a man, and as a person. Experience is the best teacher, even though I hate having to find out the hard way!

Circa 2008
four years laters and my dog Ray is still lookin' like ryan phillipe, but alas my wackness is gone, the lurst was at bay, I was kickin it with ashley and happier than a pig in a blanket!

Weekend update

After a couple of hours of geeking out and not being able to get in touch with Ashley (I haven't talked to her in a hot minute, so my 4th might be kinda lonely and that's really gonna suck cause as much as I do me, I'm sure she's doing her to some extent, because even though in the little time we were together, I know it was more than a physical thing, I mean I didn't just like her I liked her liked her... but either way I'm still gonna take time off and enjoy myself cause I need a mini vacation before I donate bone marrow) and puerto rican chick her phone was off like a dog... So my boy Lloyd hit me up askin me to show him where Solebrother was; we go up there and I see the lobster SB's that got released and I wasn't feeling em at all, after that we went to Commonwealth and those Reeboks were still callin my name. After that we went to " Los' " house this dude who works with Lloyd to put some music on his Ipod. We kicked it over there for a sec before we went to a park like down the street cause a dude we knew was throwin a lil' get together there. So we go and I'm like "dwamn" cause I guess it was like a bike rider get together at the park too, and when I say it was thick with bikes, it was thick! Dudes on scretched bikes with chrome and girls with nothin but back on that motorbike everywhere! So at the dudes birthday picnic I knew a few people so I went to get my eat my eat on, so as me and lloyd are walkin, I step on a juice box and it squirts all over him right in front of these girls, and thinkin back now. The shit probably looked intentional as hell cause not a drop got on me and these girls were crackin up and I wanted to laugh to but I saw he was hot about that shit... so we just post up on a car and I see my dude from Texas and he came with his people and they were all mounted up, rims screens and everything. I mean I don't really consider myself a materialistic dude too much, but I mean I would love to have a car that was in the game, because not to many things feel as good as just ridin' around clean as hell. But with gas the way it is, spending about $8000 to get a car and put it in the game really isn't to high priority... So I kicked it with him and chilled. Oh yeah a girl from my boy Rych's get together came by and tried to stunt on me and Lloyd, but whatever.... afterwards even though I kinda promised myself I wasn't gonna go out "Sit back n relax. Watch the ceiling fan spin." is some advice I got, I was ready to go out for reals, but I didn't wanna go to the lil hood ass sweatbox they were planing on going too, and they were dead set against goin to a upscale spot 'cause they tax $20 for sneakers at the door. But I'm like what's $30 to have a good time? We already got liquor, so we get right before and don't worry about buyin' drinks.. But they weren't tryna hear that, and honestly I really wasn't feeling the idea of going out too much I just wanted to do something... So we just ended up chillin at Lloyds house watchin Iron Chef till we fell asleep....

words to heed from my boy..

I mean she’s bad, her crib is plushed out and she goes to school… You should just get her pregnant...
Lloyd


That's what my dog Lloyd told me about this chick I like down in Jacksonville, if things go right, she'll be coming up here and staying with me for the week of the 4th.

Well, well, well

A couple things happened today... For one I ran a mile and a half in a 10:20... now that doesn't make me a Michael Johnson or anything but when my only exercise is grinding on girls and two steppin' in clubs twice a week, that's pretty damn good you know. What really grinds my gears though is that there was a time when I was in the gym extra serious and the results were hella visible. I felt better, my hair was glossier and had body and bounce even without the milk and honey and most importantly... I was wicked inna bed... and it was around that time I met "Ashley" down in Jacksonville, and I mos def wrote about her before, because I was really in like with this girl and I still am. But she's down there and I'm up here so yeah...

I was in my room playing GTA and I heard my ring tone go off and I said to myself "There's only one person I really want this to be from!" meaning the Jazzy girl of course, but I look on my Sidekick and it's from Ashley... "I was just thinking of you and I miss you buddy and hope all is well with you"
Now this shit fucks my shit all up, I didn't even know what to say to that honestly. What do I say? So I was like I miss your random ass too, I hope things are goin your way and how is she liking her Sidekick cause I remember her sayin' she had one... Then she really hits me with a curve, she says "I love it I dnt knw how to change my call back though........I miss you sooo much" I had to physically restrain myself from sending her a duck ass text message that I'd regret later or maybe even as soon as I sent it.

So after that Cinco de Mayo fiasco with the Jazzy girl, I was ready to resign to the fact that she had stopped fucking with me, cause I've stopped talking to many a girl and I know how it goes... I texted her yesterday and called today and that's all I can do. I haven't left a message for a girl since '06 and she's not gonna make me start doing it. So that being said she txts me sayin...
“Hey, i saw us calls. jus had surgery yestrday & dnt realy feel like talkn so ill ttyl"
I can't even stunt it was good to know she wasn't just straight iggn me, So for now I'll just sit in her waiting room and wonder when it's gonna be my turn...

Oh yeah I also saw that “2 Girls 1 Cup” video, yeah I’m hella late right but I can’t see how people were throwing up to it… I mean I saw it and it didn’t arouse me or anything but, it did make me laugh... so what does that say about me as a person... Am I that jaded by stuff I’ve seen and done where I laugh at girl eating feces. But I know I’m the last person to see it but, for y’all that haven’t seen it, It starts with two girls kissing and then just goes downhill reeeaal fast from there. So check it out, it’s good for a good laugh or a lost lunch and is Hot Fish Grease?

Insert appropriate title here

But That's the way things are I guess... It could just be that I can't separate sex from emotion or read into things too much. I unfortunately do both of those things, but that's not the case here...but it is what it is right? I don't think it'll ever be a 143 type thing, but I'll always remember the time I spent with her and just hope things are going her way cause she'll always have a place in my heart, and as corny as that sounds it's all dead ass. Ya felt?

damn

I met the most beautiful girl ever in the world.. Her name is ashley but it should've been angel. I could go on foever about how beautiful she is but I won't... she goes to school, I canr wait to see her tommorow, after one night she's got my heart.. Or maybe my interest...who knows?