I get no kick from champagne!

"If you wear that Gieco caveman vest, it'll be memorable for all the wrong reasons!"

-Arychtexas



My first night of "domestic displacement" has me questioning my taste in fashion. and thinking that
First off fuck that!

My style is very conservative-ALT and on point, very street couturish kinda blipsterish just without the bright colors and tight ass jeans... so when I have to actually step out of that style to go to a different type of place, I'm at a loss for style! Luckily Arych helps me avoid fashion "fo paws" with his keepin it too real criticism

I went with my puerto rican dude and met JP at guadalajara's, it was my first time going there since my fiasco with jazzy girl...the club left a lot to be desired at first but it was free and I only really came up there to see her, when I saw her salsain' and droppin it' she looked like...

We danced, I went like 56% and she went 34% so yeah...

One ? For y'all though, If you see a dude who you know enough to "dap up" and say what's up to at work, get thrown out of the club, and you didn't come with said dude, and the guy who came with said dude knows his boy was thrown out and is still salsain' his ass off in the club.

True or false. You have no reason to stop partying?

Stanks for the memories

I believe I can live like there is no tomorrow because I had the foresight to invest in comic books... 5 out of 10 analysts say after gold and oil, comic books are the biggest investment!


I used to be so creative when I was younger before I let that weed and coochie turn me out. I used to sit in class all day making these insect like sculptures out of paper clips. All my pockets were cut up from keeping them in my pocket and I used to raid teachers desks for boxes of paper clips. Who knows, if I would've stuck with it, I could've had an exhibit at a NY museum, or better yet, been blogged about by Hypebeast!



During my "jungle Fever" phase, my girl Felicia got me into Slipknot real heavy! I made these for us for halloween, it took a few bic pens to really get the drippy effect. I'm glad I'm a packrat, or she might have these right now!





Jen Bear @ the Pink Pony 2



Playboy J @ Pink Pony 2, one of my few light skinned HB's.



This man jumped clean over the hood of a fuckin volvo.

Pic Tails 2 point oh!

After a night of wine up in Club Xtreme, I recouped all day eating 1 lb Rotis, drinking mango juice, walking the beach and getting caught in a squall!

So my uncle comes to pick me and his bust it baby and Saskiya,Perpetua and Jonella to go back to his house to spend the night. So already my mind is reeling with possibilities of debauch with this coolie goddess! I mean even now thinking about her...damn!


I didn't mention this before but it's crazy as hell to look at this AZN girl, who talks, and dances like a carribean born for truth!

Anyways, we get back and eat and chill for about 25 minutes before Perpetua gets ready to leave...
???
It turns out she's got to be to work the next day at 8 am...So she leaves and I'm like fuck! So I go on the comp and just chill with Saskiya who I find out is Miss Personality and as she says "I got no shame" but not in like a whorish way, she just says what's on her mind and is cool as fuck for her age...She schools me on japanese and white queens of the dancehalls, lingo, (they don't say "Im going there" they say "I forward there") dropping dead, jump and splits and passa passa! I let her know how it goes down and some crazy shit in the states. Then Jonella comes in and sits on the other arm of the chair and we talk about how she misses Guyana and she feels bored and stuff. So she kinda starts stroking my "fake waves" and I just keep it cool. So we all shower, and sit in the living room watching "Kidulthood" and Jonella is like draped over me on the loveseat and I'm rubbing her legs, but not really like heavy petting cause Saskiya was right there on the other couch not really blocking per se, cause if I really wanted to set some slick shit up (they were sleeping in the same bed), I could've did it on the sly. But I didn't(?) and just went to sleep with a dick harder than termite teeth.

The next day we went to this beach called Sam Lords / Sharks hole.




The dude was a pirate who never sailed he just built a castle, set up fucked up warning lights so when the ships would crash, he'd just loot the shit outta them! The tide was hella high but we all swam and I climbed up the rocks and jumped off the "cliffs" into the cool blue water.





It's crazy how people were lookin at us, I don't know if it was my cowboy hat or seeing a coolie, a AZN, a black man and a mexican walking together in harmony. But everywhere we went girls would screw up their faces for reals at the site of Saskiya and Jonella. We came back and me and Jonella just fooled around, but not too tough cause Saskiya was always around. I'm not really even trippin too too hard cause Saskiya is cool as fuck.

The funny thing my uncle's bust it baby was tryna stay the night again (she's married and doesn't work and the two girls aren't her husbands) but my Uncle said "hell nah" to that. So I got to make out with my first ever ALT AZN right before they left and it was pretty swheat!

Pic Tails 3 1/3

Me and Big Sis went winehousing the night before I left to go to Tennesee with Jen bear... So Jen was blowing my phone up on her way to get me hella early (10am) so I was still feeling the effects of last night on the drive up there. It got kinda redneckish on the way there (somebody asked me "What yer say there fella?", the fuck do you reply to that?) but the drive wasn't that bad.

We get there and go to the Oconee river we're gonna be rafting and it looked pretty swheat. When we got in the raft we had this young ass instructor with no personality, he pulled us three dudes aside and said...
"We don't normally let woman get in the front, so I'm gonna need y'all to compensate for their weakness, alright guys?"

White water rafting wasn't as intense as I thought it would be, but it was fun as hell!
Later that night at the campsite the instructors comment slipped and Jen and Kat were 500 about that shit for reals! They were ready to call him and cuss him out.
We built a bitchin fire, made smores, played cards and eat subway and just really roughed it.


The next day we went to this family owned restaurant were the menu said
"Although out religous beliefs do not allow us to eat or handle pork because it is an unclean filthy animal, we readily make it availiable to our customers"
WTF
I asked the blue eyed waitress what she did for fun in this lil' shit hole town, and she was like
"Rafting the river"


All in all pretty cool trip!

Pic Tails 1.oh

First off thank you to Rafi's girlfriend whose name I don't think I'll be able to rememeber for putting me up on "The Secret"!
I mananged to manifest myself 3 things!

1. A Coolie which I've wanted for the longest for real for reals. Being honest with myself, I did see hooter coolies in my time there, but here style, reserved personality just made me say..she got it! I think I like them more than I like latinas and that's saying alot!


2.An ALT semi KEUT AZN ... I never was one with "yellow fever" like so many people I work with, but from following HRO for so long, I was always like it would be nice to try once.

3. A club in Barbados I googled. Not too big, but the circumstances are so intertwined with #1, it's quite shocking.


Anyways a recap of time spent in paradise... The relationships with my uncle and all these girls Sugar Daddy...I see that now, and I just think "It really ain't trickin if you got it...I guess" but it still hurts my heart to see it. His bust it baby has 2 daughters Perpetua and Saskiya, and a AZN/Guyanan nephew Jonella. I met Jonella first and I was like meh... I guess I could do something with that, then comes her 2 daughters.

So we go up the coast to eat and just chill, we're riding in a 90 BMW vert, with my big ass and these three girls in the back, the mom is all about Perpetua the oldest lapping up with me, like off the rip! I'm all for it but don't wanna just be like the weird stranger tryna get some cheap play. Plus I'm very easily embareassed and easily aroused so I just suggested she sit on her sis. It turns out that the gals were cool as a box fan and funny and just good people. The restaurant that my uncle's bust it baby wanted to eat at was hella expensive, and the food wasn't even that good, I could tell she just wanted to go there just to say she's been there!












The whole time we were out and about I was making googly eyes at perpetua, and lo and behold they were being returned! Then she was like she's going out to the club and I should come to see how bajan's party!



So I go and she looks amazing for reals!

Now when I go to clubs with gals I feel like "we came together, but didn't come together." Sometimes I break that rule and sometimes I don't. That night I did, cause I grinded on her skinny ass all night and loved it! I mean the club was like %85 females first off, I saw a girl from my ship in there too, and cover was $20 which really ain't shit but that included FREE DRINKS ALL NIGHT no typo. Suprisingly I had the restraint to teter toter on the limit of winehouse-tedness without tipping over! Only thing was I couldn't really swag off cause I didn't have a belt to complete my fit (which I never realized till then how they do) and I never felt like an outsider so much in the club in my life, I'm doin a lil somethin with my two step and "loose waist wine up" but seeing them dudes on them gals was like "damn". But coming back to dance with Perpetua put my mind at ease. Left the club uneventfully and walked about 13 blocks (to the store and back 4 times for my suburbanites) back to my uncle's rental property I was staying in that night and crashed.