Lemonhead delight 2

Yesterday I started the purging process... I realized that I'm a real sentimental packrat, movie stubs from dates (the Syriana date disaster fiasco), hotel reciepts from when I was I bahrain, a shit ton of foreign coins, stickers from Iceland and Denmark and my diary / journal full of juicy hits, misses and sexcapades! As I was deciding what to keep, I thought of how cool it would be to give my albums and stuff to an heir or heiress. Now that's really weird because I don't believe in children 'till after like 25. So yeah... anyways I'm like 43.4% packed up and ready to leave the apt. So to celebrate I went digging!
I think I like diggin so much cause it's just relaxing and like going into a time capsule. I believe I "manifested" Marvin Gaye's "Here my Dear". The album is filled with so much emotion because after his divorce, he couldn't pay allimony, so his ex was entitled to a cut of his next album, so he beared his soul and said "here my dear".





I actually went to Lenox mall to see her Blu Cantrell when I was like in 10th grade I think, I gave her a hug and she performed and signed a copy of her one and only single.




I learned the words to this when I was in 5th grade... I couldn't add to save my life but I could sing the hell out of this song!





I see some album covers and I think two things.
1. You couldn't tell some of these mufuckas they weren't fly on their cover!
2. In the eighties, if you were a man and you didn't look like a girl, have a curl or slang dope. You better be light skinned 'cause you weren't gettin no play.

Just as serious...

I'm sitting on top of this thing called a barge as I write this, this girl who for real for reals looks like a certain someone
(the first person to guess it right, a winner is you) sits behind me and asks how the Dark Knight was and all this but I can't stand her. Sober or drunk.

Anyways seeing the Dark Knight in Imax was off the yazabah! I mean it was crazy cause the screen was fuckin ginormagatuan and when I first saw it I thought it would be hard to see like sitting in the front at the movies,where you're kinda trying to take it all in cause you're so close, but no it was perfect. I kind of freaked out when we first got there cause it said in big bold letters 7:00 pm SOLD OUT.

Her: what do you wanna do now?
Me: I'll just use my charm on that cute pancake faced ticket girl.
Her : But it sa...
Me: *hushing sounds* money talks

So I go up to the ticket chick who looks about 17-19 and long story short, I shot her a bribe and the whole exchange was pretty money. All in all the night was pretty cool, I was reminded why I hate white trash bars (where I saw that chick pictured above) and drunken attractive girls (I don't hate them all the time), and just how right on time taco bell can be.
I felt kinda bad about standing up my new crime partner Rafi, for a girl at that, but I'm sure he'd understand. Plus he went to a pool party full of gals and didn't call me. Zaaaamn!

Snoop A Loop

I'm here and Fictionplane is on.. They're actually not that bad...a english lead singer who plays bass a lead and a drummer...Pretty good opener for 311.."I'm in love with two sisters. Only cupid can decide- who's bed I will share tonight. A very cool lyric from Fictionplane...

"The sky becomes black and the clouds become blue, you're now in the midst of the dogg pound crew"

I don't think snoop will ever be that lyrically tight with imagery like that, but I still fluck with dude.

But while the roadies set up for the next act a giant weed leaf descends from the ceiling and these dudes bring out two lowrider bikes and two cognac cardboard cutouts..


some dude with a very progressive hair cut comes out smokin a blunt and then Snoop muthafuckin Dogg comes out on stage, not just comes out as much as materializes in a cloud of damn smoke lookin cooler than a lil bit!

I remember I used to didn't fluck with Snoop too tough after he first went to No Limit, but that nigga took me back. I remember stayin with my dad and learnin the words to the first verse of "Nuthin' but a G thang" from seeing the video... But I digress, he brought it and Snoop is like a black version of Kiss cause he's gonna be around for ever. I swear I caught contact from all these blunts, I wanted to blow so bad but I can't...

Uncle Junebug had me trippin' this man was dancin' and movin around and all sorts of stuff... He had me trippin for reeals.




He ended it with a real smooth lean with it and rock with it segment then a "na na na na, snoop dogg"




My homegirl Jen used to try and put me on 311 way back when, but I was'nt tryna hear it, then my homies Ray and Hines, really flucked with 'em and I used to like 'Come Original" so I gave em a listen and I dug it real hard.

I saw them with Ray like in '06 before we went on a 3 month surge. But we had some bullshit seats...so while I'm enjoying the show and actin a fool, I see this one girl who was making out like a fool, mush the shit outta this other chick...but all in all great concert for reals.

Shun the non believer...Shuuuunnnn

As the days of rooming with my friend come to an end, I feel like I should be ansy or scouring craigslist for roomates wanted. But no, I'm not. I'm gonna be moving one of two places, to the barge which is like a floating prison or a barracks room which is like a hotel kinda. So by the time I get back from my atlanta and barbados I'll know something.
But on moving out, yeah I'll miss the day to day fuckery and domestic violence but as much as I'll miss the crazy times I wonder what will happen with one of his friends/co-workers "Jaguar Paw" that I had a hot and cold flirtationship with. I wonder if she'll still fluck with me, on cool type shit after our middleman isn't there.
But I'll see...
Other than that a really cool/goofy/pretty girl I work with and have had a really semi-akward flirtationship with for awhile, gave me her number and we're supposed to go see the Dark Knight... In iMax!! So that's pretty swheat and I would like to finally see her in a non work related environment.
As far as my lurst it's been under control,it's been less like a hunger pang and more like a something I'm aware of only when I really think about it, or late night convos go into the gutter. I've been really just maxing out and preparing to move out on the 1st, so phone boning has been at an all time low, but I'm alright with that. Yeah, I do kinda miss "the textpectation" from having interesting txt conversations but I don't need a woman to validate me, validate might be the wrong word so I'll just say I'm enjoying my own company...

Oh yeah, not to be outdone by a certain someone, in four hours of watch I made the be all and end of rubber band balls! Three bags thick baby... and yes it is that serious.
BEHOLD

I've been hella lazy with putting up pics and shit from my 311 and Snoop concert but tommorow for sures...

My name is andre: and I like walks on the beach

It's hella cool meetin' new people who are about the same things I'm all about. Cause I feel like I'm not the type of person who's just gonna try to hang with somebody cause of who they are or whatever, if it happens it happens right? So when dude told me his ex girl as coming down with six of her homegirls I thought it was gonna be like Smokin' Aces with all these boat dudes tryna get on. But when I actually got down there he told me I was the only dude out of everybody he told that showed up. The dude Rafi is a scraight fool, so I'm officially sponsoring his membership into the Virginia Beach chapter of the pimp legion of doom. I was kinda intimidated well not intimidated but I'd say overwhelmed but after I saw they were cool and vica versa it was a cheese and rice.



They had a hotel room on the beach and it was cool, cause even though I've been in Va for a hot minute I never really kicked it on the beach, strip and oceanfront like that cause it was and still is full of drunk white boys, chickenheads and cotton thugs. So I was seeing it just like they were seeing it, through a tourist's eyes.


All the time I was over there it was super chill, the girls were from scrong island and manhattan and were pretty fierce camera whores and they were all about some book called "the secret", that says you can manifest your destiny by thinking about your goal. Only thing that kinda sucked is that they weren't really tryna leave the oceanfront for downtown with much better nightlife,they were more on trendoid bars but even still it was scraight. To me the prettiest of the friends was either this dominican chick

or this kinda punkish white chick I still can't believe I stayed up all night watching charlie the unicorn and salad fingers and just talking until we watched the sunrise...I was pretty winehoused like all friday and saturday night but suprisingly no hangover or jumping up and down ensued.




the flash showed me no love! I'm lookin like the tip of a banana. Lookin like if I had green eyes I'd look like a x-box!

The Dark Knight

I was at tropical smoothie on friday and I heard this guy telling his friend that he asked a buddy of his who saw the dark knight how it was and he said the movie was so good he couldn't even describe it or compare it to the other ones...I wholeheartedly believe it is that good.

But last night I got up with a dude who is a welcome addition to the virginia chapter of the pimp legion of doom!

Charm School 2!!!

I dont know if y'all caught this show on MTV called G's to Gents

This looks like a SNL skit that lasts all season... I mean they've got a jewish guy who's supposed to be a mobster.. Some cornball ass red nigga from georgia, a few white guys (pause) a asian dude who says he'd sleep on money and wouldn't buy a bed. A dude from michigan who looks like ruban studdard. A dude from florida with "goon" tatted across his chest. If I'm right everyone of 'em has grills in their mouth like it's a prerequisite to being real!
The first thing that gives them away as being fake ass dudes, aside from their ludicrous alias' like "j dog" "truth" "pretty ricky", (no homo>it's the fact that none of them are ugly. I'm not sayin you have to be ugly to be a real gangsta ass dude, or that a pretty boy can't be a G, but I honestly know about maybe one or two pretty boy's who get into some real g shit. The rest of the g's I know with names like monster, meatball, chop, black and hardhead are some pretty ugly ass niggas.(/no homo> I'm not really suprised at Fonzworth as much as I am Jamie Foxx for attaching his name to this, but if george foreman and his daughters who look just like him can get on that reality bandwagon, what can I say but stack that cheese...

Me and my kick

I love my sidekick..I've been flipping my phone since the sidekick 1 and I still love it!
Here at work everybody wants to get the hottest new phones that "flip open" or have "touchscreen" or whatever, but me, I've stuck with my kick. Even when there's phones with better cameras and louder music playing and video and when I had the SK3 picture messaging. People would always talk shit about my brick and how can you have that in your pocket blah blah blah...
Fuck em! There is no phone with a better keyboard or internet in my opinion. I mean the Iphone is a beast and that touch shit is nice but a little inconvenient.

Now Danger (the people who make Sidekick's) are releasing a over the air update (OTA) which will put the sidekick back on top where it's supposed to be. Most importantly VIDEO and BLUETOOTH TRANSFER!!! So now I'm waiting patiently for the update to start rolling out. I feel bad for those suckas who've got a Slide aka the sidekick jr. cause they get no update.

-Capture videos using the new video mode Playback from the SD card or email attachments using the media player
-Share videos via email, Picture messaging, and Bluetooth
-Listen to songs or videos using a stereo Bluetooth device
-Send and receive photos, videos, or music via Bluetooth
-Select how Web pages are displayed based on preference PC-like, full-size layout to pan & scan while reading o Standard Sidekick screen-size layout to simply scroll down the page to read ·
-Capture videos and share them directly from the Camera app Video integration for playback, send, and save to gallery QuickFind:

who's gonna save my soul now?

Now I'm supposed to leave on wednesday, but I was gonna have today off from work to "mentally prepare" myself for what I was doing or whatever. So I'm driving home yesterday thinking about how good it's gonna feel to be in a plush ass hotel waking up when I please and seeing some DC "Flyy girl's" instead of being at work. Then I get a call from from my coordinator from the marrow center saying "the patient failed some of the pre op checks or whatever and the doctors don't wanna proceed right now." I'm just like damn. My first though is I'm gonna have to go to work tommorow. And then I think what about that woman....

Now what can I do to save my soul? This one good deed would've hopefully erased a some of the bad shit I've done. At least I didn't buy those B boots and slouch socks which everybody rocks up there.

Pics of my room they put me in from last time, this is where I'd be and chillaxin to the max or jumping up and down is what I'd be doing

Down with the sickness

I'm sick as a dog! I believe these three things are the only things that kept me alive all weekend! I was drinkin hella water and it had me goin like every 15 minutes and with this new prince's wand type thing I've got it in, it's like a test of skill every time I pee!



So I restricted myself to the crib for the weekend to fully heal so it was nothing but guitar playing, phone and txt boning all interspersed with some xbox live. I really only ventured out to quench my lurst with the "Mrs.Robinson" "who's just using me for one thing" and tropical smoothie for paradise points.



I did find myself feeling kinda normal on sunday and organizing my closet and wanting to do something with the stuff I didn't or couldn't wear, so I went to plato's closet to sell some stuff with puerto rican chick. It's crazy because I was talking all this hot shit about not distancing myself and not really fluckin with her on here and to my peoples, but I was kissin' on her at her place and walkin' in the mall with her like some kinda lou bega ass nigga! So I told my dog lloyd how I felt like a sucka doing all this with her whatnot and I asked him scraight up what he thought...





"Now that she's pregnant you can shoot that hot shit all up in her"

-Lloyd

It rhymes with degnant...

You know I'm going to puerto rico for a month and I leave on the 18th
Me: that's tight, I'm jealous!
*about 8 minutes later*
Guess what?
Me: what?
I'm pregnant?!?
Me: ...
A little over a month
Me: are you sure
Yeah, I was throwing up and I had to sleep in my moms bed last night
Me: that sucks *akward pause* Sooo...

That's how the ass end of a conversation I had with puerto rican chick went. I wasn't mad, I wasn't really suprised either.. Well yes I was, and no I wasn't.I'm pretty jaded when it comes to girls doin stuff, but I was suprised because you're talkin this hot shit about tryna find out about me for reals or whatever, and you've got someones spawn growing inside of you. And I wasn't because I knew what time it was. I mean I may look kinda funny but I aint no fool, I knew I wasn't the only one. When she saw my apartment was plushed out and I was fresh, and everytime she called me I was "makin a move" somewhere, I let her think I was a dopeboy, or affiliated in some way with drugs and the fast life. But other than that I kept it 100 to a certain extent and she did too; to a certain extent. So before I allowed myself to freak out, charge her up or Caine from menace her over the phone, I just remembered that we only did it in like regular style and on top style, and girls can't get pregnant like that. Plus I had the jimmy on extra tight!
So I just told her congratulations and asked her what she was gonna do, did she tell her mom and the "here I am lookin ass dude" yet. She was like yeah and she was scared to tell dude cause she doesn't wanna fluck with dude like that and she's not sure. So I went over there thursday and she started crying cause I gave her a funny look, and she asked if I was ''dissapointed or something" I told her I'm not your dad you can't dissapoint me! So we talked and she was like she's gonna do it with or without dude (he wants her to keep it BTW) and me and her can still be cool but she's just gonna focus on her and her stomach and put school on the backburner. I told her that all sounds good but are you really about what you're talkin about? Even while we were talkin I was already thinking about distancing myself from her and that made me feel kinda assholeish. Cause this chick is just just 18, soaking wet behind the ears and in my opinion about to make life a lot more difficile for herself. But at the same time, I'm like I don't wanna be "that guy".
So I'm gonna use this trip to DC next week to really get right, cause I like being out in that water, I really do but damn! Cause I know damn well I'm gonna act a fool in those DC clubs to that go-go and house. So after I come back, I'm gonna focus on the one girl whose been driving me crazy with her "so anythingness" and let my bro tell it "she's not just gonna get down with the get down" and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Uhh yeaah"

Have you ever been so unmotivated at work that you're too lazy to surf the internet? That’s how I feel, I mean there’s only so much looking busy you can do in the space of 6 hours. My job title is officially Micro-Mini (2M) repair technician, which basically means I solder repair aircraft circuit boards. But since there's no aircrafts... So in order to remedy that, I enjoy myself with PBF Comics. I first got one in a chain email, and I don’t remember what it was of, but it was fluckin hilarious. It’s a shame he doesn’t make any new ones, I believe it just makes his older ones that much funnier.

Et tu Hot fish grease?

Oh yeah the blog sabotaged one of my " potential relationships". If you can even call going to the movies with a girl who really was feeling me. We went out and everything was Jesus, and we go back to her place and chill on my car and talk.
So I have to ask why she's single to see where her head is atcause she's pretty, goes out to clubs, has goals for herself and most importantly no children. So she tells me because all she talks to is losers who cheat and that I seem like a nice guy.I told her I am, and she could break the cycle with someone like me. Which is true I'm a nice guy, and I'm single and free as a bird, I just have a lurstful heart, and I like to like and I like being liked. So I see her glance at my "shameless self promotion" I drive around with, and I really didn't think to much of it. Until I see she's checked me out....

So should I hide my blog from future lady friends?
Heck no! The promotion of my mindless self indulgences stays!


My bro's attempt at making jello with the fruit chunks floating in it = FAIL!!!

Don't look no no...

From all my club going this weekend both sober and completely winehoused and just my experience in general I've seen a lot of stuff. There's a lot of things about the club I've just known from the jump and stuff I wish I would've known earlier but I'm glad I learned. Like...

Don't just grab a girls arm and expect her to dance!
Some girls reeaaally don't like that shit at tall at all.

Do just grab a girls arm and expect her to dance!
It's really all in how you do it. Then again some girls really hate that shit.

Don't take it personal if you fail the look back test
When I was a young punk going to house parties, getting turned down for a dance could crush this young man! Cause young girls looove to stunt and turning a dude down for a dance is the perfect opportunity to do it. You just gotta bounce back. That's why girls dance face to face with their friends, so that if a dude just jumps behind her, she might wait for the friend to give a yay or a nay. Or she might just look back for herself. Just like I wouldn't wanna really be dancing with a ug bug, girls don't want to either.

Do take the hint.
It's hot in here. My boyfriend / husband wouldn't like that / is in here. I just wanna dance with my girls a.k.a I just wanna dance in a circle with my girls with our shoes and purses in the middle of us. And my most hated one "I don't dance" or "I don't come here to dance." It either means she just isn't feeling you or she just came to be with her gals, don't be that stalkin ass dude.

Don't think a dance is more than it is.
Sometimes it is sometimes it's not. Just cause you caught her for a lil' dance what does that really mean?

Don't come to the club musty / hot mouthed / or smellin like a young grizzly bear!


I would of thought that this was pure common sense but there's always somebody musty in the club and I don't care how hard you dance, there's no way you should be so bad were people can smell you. As a matter of fact, I've been dancin' with my homegirl and she was smellin a little vintage under the arms. Like she was playin and rollin around with puppies before she came in. LMAO
Am I wrong for not tellin her and still dancin with her?

Don't go solo
It's no fun at all unless you're really just a voracious social animal even then...I mean who can you post up with when they play "up north" music and the dance floors a ghost town, who can you wile out with when they play "down south" music, who's gonna be your QA (quality assurance) to make sure when you're drunk you're not out there flirting with smuglies. And just because it's 2008 people still get jumped in these clubs, especially girls too, there's some "unlady-like divas" out there lookin to bust some heads!

Do / Don't get too excited
Iounknow about that one I mean I felt like dude in "the wood" at one point and when I asked my homegirls about it some said "it just shows you don't go out a lot" or "it lets me know he's feelin it". Now I feel like if it happens, hey I'm only human. So I say if you do rock up from a dance. Wait a second before dancing with the next chick.

What do ya'll think? Has that happened to you? If y'all can think of anymore let me know...