facts on fiction

24 Years ago on this day you were born. I've known you since november 16 and we really took our relationship to the next level during spring break. We've gotten into fights about my metrosexuality and my 'down with the swirlness'; hell, were even supposed to be going to Barbados; I'm so glad you're gonna get your passport! I digress, today is a day all about you. I tell you to meet me at a massage parlor, not that kind silly! The kind were they put hot stones on you and pamper you ith deep tissue massages minus the happy ending (do girls even get happy endings?) There I go rambling again! Anyways I tell you to go there, and give your name to the receptionist. I don't know how it is gonna be but you'll get a great massage for 30 minutes while listening to new age music. After you're super relaxed, head to your nearest MAC store...what do you mean you don't know where it is? We've both got iPhones, Map it! You got it now? Good. Give them your name and tell them to 'go ham', just don't overdue it you feel me because I do plan to sex you something awful tonight. I know you don't drive a Ford truck, but tonight I'll be exploring you......Of course I wasn't serious girl you know I'm just joking...But for reals, you're gonna get it. So now you look how you feel right? Hair freshly blown out by the Dominicans cause you got it done the day before so you won't be sitting in the shop today, relaxed as fuck from the hot stone deep tissue massage, and MAC'd up. Wonderful! Meet me for dinner in East Atlanta. Yes, I mean the Mexican restaurant we went to on valentines day, were I stole the napkin to commemorate this occasion. I knew you be relaxed and look really hot from the pampering, but hot damn! You look like a plate of hot macadamia nut cookies! I know you think I'm fuckin with you when I say shit like that, but you look damn good. That Arden B dress is blessing your curves, your peep toe stilettos are showing of your pedicure, I know you only told them to paint your big toe and second toe but that'll be our secret.

We eat and laugh and I can tell your feeling that big ass patron margarita you had, that shit was strong as hell and you're getting another one? I hope you know I'm gonna do all that freaky shit to your drunk ass tonight! Yeah right..... I know whatever, and don't smile at me cause you and I know both you can't take it.... you're right we will see....

As we valet I see you tryna see the name of the hotel, it's not the W but it's very nice and wait till you see the view of the skyline. As we walk through the lobby I see the sideways stares, they see me leading you by the hand and you already know what time it is and what we're about to do. We get up to the room and I tell the expectant bellhop "A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."

I look at you as we enter the room. I spent some time in here, I did. You see the flowers on the bed and in the sink, you smell the Lacoste red I sprayed strategically in the room to give it "my smell" and you turn and kiss me. I kiss you back. I can taste the liquor on your breath and I know you don't wanna fuck around at all. I squeeze were I want and you try to backpedal to the bed.. Uh uh. I want to make you weak in the knees.

Wakey Wakey

I know you're probably gonna say you don't remember to much of last night, which I think you just say when you do something nasty to me. Anyways I always found it crazy how you would say you wake up when I'm not in the bed with you but upon waking up you should see I'm gone and in my place is a delicious breakfast of your faves. French Toast, hash browns with jalepenos and cheese, and cheese eggs. It's probably wouldn't be the food that kept your eye. The envelope with your name written in old english would set your interest on fire. I can see you grabbing it and reading the three lines on letter inside.

'happy birthday'

-143

Andre

Just as serious...

I'm sitting on top of this thing called a barge as I write this, this girl who for real for reals looks like a certain someone
(the first person to guess it right, a winner is you) sits behind me and asks how the Dark Knight was and all this but I can't stand her. Sober or drunk.

Anyways seeing the Dark Knight in Imax was off the yazabah! I mean it was crazy cause the screen was fuckin ginormagatuan and when I first saw it I thought it would be hard to see like sitting in the front at the movies,where you're kinda trying to take it all in cause you're so close, but no it was perfect. I kind of freaked out when we first got there cause it said in big bold letters 7:00 pm SOLD OUT.

Her: what do you wanna do now?
Me: I'll just use my charm on that cute pancake faced ticket girl.
Her : But it sa...
Me: *hushing sounds* money talks

So I go up to the ticket chick who looks about 17-19 and long story short, I shot her a bribe and the whole exchange was pretty money. All in all the night was pretty cool, I was reminded why I hate white trash bars (where I saw that chick pictured above) and drunken attractive girls (I don't hate them all the time), and just how right on time taco bell can be.
I felt kinda bad about standing up my new crime partner Rafi, for a girl at that, but I'm sure he'd understand. Plus he went to a pool party full of gals and didn't call me. Zaaaamn!

88 minutes reviewed

I went to see 88 Minutes with a girl that liked to talk during the movie and its kind of a drag cause when I'm in the movies I like to be IN the movie you know? But that's not really about anything... anyway's it seemed like Al Pacino really needed the money, I mean it wasn't a bad film but I really probably won't be raving on about it...it did have it's suspenseful moments to it and it kept me guessing, but it seemed like it was a film students "drama-suspense filled thriller." So basically it was just a good distraction for two hours. I've been waiting to go to the movies with a chick and say this for the longest but as soon as we sat down I was like "Oh look the armrests lift up so if the movies are bad... you know, you know?" she didn't find it as funny as I did.