It rhymes with degnant...

You know I'm going to puerto rico for a month and I leave on the 18th
Me: that's tight, I'm jealous!
*about 8 minutes later*
Guess what?
Me: what?
I'm pregnant?!?
Me: ...
A little over a month
Me: are you sure
Yeah, I was throwing up and I had to sleep in my moms bed last night
Me: that sucks *akward pause* Sooo...

That's how the ass end of a conversation I had with puerto rican chick went. I wasn't mad, I wasn't really suprised either.. Well yes I was, and no I wasn't.I'm pretty jaded when it comes to girls doin stuff, but I was suprised because you're talkin this hot shit about tryna find out about me for reals or whatever, and you've got someones spawn growing inside of you. And I wasn't because I knew what time it was. I mean I may look kinda funny but I aint no fool, I knew I wasn't the only one. When she saw my apartment was plushed out and I was fresh, and everytime she called me I was "makin a move" somewhere, I let her think I was a dopeboy, or affiliated in some way with drugs and the fast life. But other than that I kept it 100 to a certain extent and she did too; to a certain extent. So before I allowed myself to freak out, charge her up or Caine from menace her over the phone, I just remembered that we only did it in like regular style and on top style, and girls can't get pregnant like that. Plus I had the jimmy on extra tight!
So I just told her congratulations and asked her what she was gonna do, did she tell her mom and the "here I am lookin ass dude" yet. She was like yeah and she was scared to tell dude cause she doesn't wanna fluck with dude like that and she's not sure. So I went over there thursday and she started crying cause I gave her a funny look, and she asked if I was ''dissapointed or something" I told her I'm not your dad you can't dissapoint me! So we talked and she was like she's gonna do it with or without dude (he wants her to keep it BTW) and me and her can still be cool but she's just gonna focus on her and her stomach and put school on the backburner. I told her that all sounds good but are you really about what you're talkin about? Even while we were talkin I was already thinking about distancing myself from her and that made me feel kinda assholeish. Cause this chick is just just 18, soaking wet behind the ears and in my opinion about to make life a lot more difficile for herself. But at the same time, I'm like I don't wanna be "that guy".
So I'm gonna use this trip to DC next week to really get right, cause I like being out in that water, I really do but damn! Cause I know damn well I'm gonna act a fool in those DC clubs to that go-go and house. So after I come back, I'm gonna focus on the one girl whose been driving me crazy with her "so anythingness" and let my bro tell it "she's not just gonna get down with the get down" and I wouldn't have it any other way.


Judy D. said...

i have to know how old you are! lol... i get the condom part, but U CAN get pregnant if sperm reaches the egg, it does not matter what position you are. regular or on top, lmao.. sorry that's hilarious. and if STILL dont believe me, i have the proof to show ya.
ANYWAY, tell homegirl to stick thru school, because if she puts school in the backburner, her child will be in the backburner as well. what can she offer that child without no degree (in the long run), she aint gonna be able to give her sense...
please stop spreading them urban myths, because they are highly inaccurate. thanks :P

Kandi Black said...

ummm...that's real messed up...but hey, what can u really do? just keep it friendly with her and sorta keep ur distance before she change her mind and have u buying pampers and shit...j/p...

Andre said...

I'm 22 and please know I'm joking about that...cause we all know sperm can't fight gravity! LOL
I told her that about school and she was like her mom did it and so can I, but I told her that was then and this is now!

I know right...

Taryn "Skinny Genes" B. said...

those pictures you, used? Hilarious. But um. Someone needs to go back to sex education lol and its either ME or YOU. Regular style or doggy style, can end up in pregancy. If that sperm runs the entire marathon and reaches the finish line then, houston we have a problem. Well, i think her situation is messed up sort of like my friends situation. Hopefully she will go to college and stay focused to provide for her baby.

Melody.Darlene said...

i secretly love awkward situations!!

"hey btw im 18 and pregnant" - her

"i love lamp" - you
(i hope u've seen anchorman to understand that one)

it's like daaamn! what tha hell r u supposed to say!!??!! skippidy-doo-dah-day!!

Andre said...

Maybe you can take it next semester...lol

And yeah there needs to be an official reply to those types of statement for real, and I can mos def jam with "I love lamp"

A.M. said...

I wondered across your blog, and kinda like it. Interesting post about the pregnant girl. I think you should still be cool with her if you care to have a friendship, if you don't...well don't. & U don't even have to feel bad about it.
Hope to "blog" ya sometime around :)

BlaHHH said...

Oh damn...I feel bad 4 her since shes only 18. & like you said this is a different time & day. You really need education more than ever. & dont be mean 2 her lol. & you know your messed up 4 saying "soooo' lol

arychtexas said...

Man take that verification code off nutzo...man yep she tried you up though b/c if you would've been like what "we" gonna do she would've been I know its yours! I believe you said the right thing and you should have a blast in dc but that transplat gonna hurrrrrrrtttt great deed though!

K. Denise said...

Welp. Shit happens.

But umm..what are you going to DC for? Just because or what? Oh and I meant to ask you are you actually going to DC or a part of MD close to DC?

Andre said...

Thank you and fa sho!

It really was the only thing I could think of saying... I had to say something

@ rych

Hopefully doing that one good deed will erase some of my sins...but I'm ready for it though.

@ KD
I'm going for a bone marrow donation, I got chosen or whatever.. and I think it's outside of DC. Last time I stayed like 15 minutes from Reagan Airport

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