Her name is karma, and she's a bitch

This past weekend was carnival in Atlanta which is like a celebration of west indian culture. There's parties everywhere and parades and people come down from everywhere just to party. So I invited the Trinidadian chick to come with me to see Pastor Troy perform. So she's with it and I was gonna pick her up and head out there. Well my mom has been in Barbados for the last 2 weeks (I was supposed to be there but I had those freaking instructor classes) and her flight was supposed to be in at 8:30, so I'd take my mom's car to pick her up so she could drop me off and I wouldn't have to go all the way to her house and then pick up chick and do it like that.

So I'm at the airport at 8:45 and I see the board and it says delayed till 9:30 so I call chick and tell her and she's like "Well do what you gotta do and if we don't make it you can come over and we can watch a movie or something" So I didn't know whether to read between the lines and think we're gonna watch a movie, or waaaatch a moooovie. Either way I was like cool beans.

So I'm chillin' at the airport reading magazines and enjoying the super fast internet connection and 10:30 rolls around and I'm like WTF. So I ask the Delta chick

"what's up with the flight from Barbados?"

DC: They had to stop for fuel and they won't be in till 12

So I'm like fuck, So I call chick and let her know, and at one my mom comes out and we talk and stuff and head home. So I'm kinda tired and instead of taking 285 East which is kinda faster, I took I-20. So I'm driving and my mind is drifting and I see a car ahead of me just stop, so I go to swerve around and the douchebag next to me is on my side. So I can either hit the wall, hit this douche on the side of me or rear end this fucking moron who ran out of gas on the fucking interstate...

So we get out the car and I'm kinda freaking out cause even though it's like 1:30 in the morning, I-20 is pretty busy, and we're in the middle of the highway. So my mom is coming around from the passenger side when this truck that was probably rubbernecking come within like inches of my mom and clip my mom's car with his rear view mirror.

"I'm from VA, I'll bust yo grill"

I went out with my girl Jen Bear and her roomate and some chick they went to school with. We went to the Drunken Unicorn where her friend was spinning for a night of winehousing and I admit I went in with low expectations but when this band came on all that went out the window.
The Drunken Unicorn is like two sides one where live bands play and the other side where the DJ was spinning old school hip hop. We all danced and just partied and then took it to this other bar in East Atlanta. Now I'm not really a bar person but the atmosphere was so laid back and cool or whatever.

So at the end of the night we left out and we see these dudes getting in to it with these females. Jen is trying to tell me...
"Let's get out of here!"

But me and her roomate are like "fuck that, let's see what happens!"

So apparently this drunk dude tried to shoot at a girl and she gave him a smart ass remark, basically dissin the dude. So he calls her a bitch and it's all talk 'till he mushes the chick and some dude comes out of nowhere and I swear to God, Lui Kang flying kicks the dude and knocks him to the ground with a punch as I'm tryna talk this one cat down and then a molly whopping ensued...

Andre...Becoming a douche?

I've been in "a relationship" with the DJ chick for a little over a month now and things are getting really wierd. It's been sugar and shit, but for the most part sugar. I kinda feel like I fucked up by telling her about my copious amounts of 'jumping up and down' in VA, because that combined with my wondering eye, lurstful heart equals the third degree about all sorts of shit.

But anyways I mean she's really about making things work and 'being good' and I know if I was a different type of dude this really could go far... BUT I'm always feeling like

"I could do better..right?"

Which is terrible, because I know how hard it is to find a chick who's attractive and...

+ has no kids

+ isn't bitter as fuck/jaded/guarded like a mufucka from being fucked over many a time

+has a job that allows her to enjoy spontaneous activities cause I'm a outgoing dude

+has a car

+has a sense of humor/adventure

+has hobbies

+a sense of style

+/- has her own place

I mean it's like girls like that only exist in the blogsphere... and I've found one but like I told my dude Nick when he asked about her...

"She's the type of girl you cheat on cause you just want... something different."

He laughed like I was joking but I was dead ass which is a douche thing to say but it's true. I know it's selfish as hell/not fair to her to be 'one foot in, one foot out' of the relationship when she's all in but it's like that sometimes.

I recently met a very pretty girl from Trinidad who's got a body like a shotgun, blue 'queen of the dancehall' highlights in her hair and a son. She's cooler than a box fan when I call her and txt her and make plans to plan...

TK at Wish

Late as always I got to the store and that place was packed wall to wall with hipsters in the skinniest of jeans in the wildest of colors. So like any normal person I just stood in line not knowing what the line is for or leading to... So from just talking to people I found out that there was only like 46 pairs and when I got there, there was like 6 left. So I still said 'fuck it' and waited it out. After about 15 minutes in line I'm up front right behind this dude and his girl. So I look at the stash of shoes and I see...Two pairs of 4's, a 11.5 and a 12 (my size) So I'm like hell yeah cause I see the dude in front of me look kind of excited and shit. So I ask him...

Me: What size you wear? *looks down at his feet*

I wear a 12.

Me: ...........

Me: *unctous grin on face* Well you should get the 11.5's and I'll just get the 12's.

*no hesitation* Ok

Me: For reals?!?

Yeah

Me: You're alright! I'm gonna dance at your wedding!

So after a FAA screening type process I got my shoes and proceeded to the 'complimentary vodka bar' which in principle is ran off tips but you know how that goes.... So I'm walking around this store buzzing off 'complimentary' vodka and pineapples and go and check out the 'lab of shoes' downstairs and see... Coming upstairs I see Terry Kennedy and just ask him for a picture on some non groupie ass dude type shit.... So with my buzz on and my kicks in tow I headed out of there and into lil five points a very happy man.

Relapse

I came across this and I've only given it an initial listen and so far it sounds cool, it's more of the 'Marshall Mathers' Em, which I like.


Download here or here
Go cop it when it comes out (next tuesday I think) and tell me what y'all think.

Jacques Jams

After peeping game Nana I downloaded Chester French's free album Jacques Jams Vol.1 Endurance and I'm real skeptical about listening to new music so I read up on them.

“Jacques Jams, Vol. 1: Endurance” is a chronicle of the past six years of our lives. It tells our story, from the gymnasiums of Harvard to the hills of Hollywood. Unlike “Love the Future,” which we’ve written, arranged, performed, produced, and engineered by ourselves, “Jacques Jams” features a collection of new, original music that we created in the hills of Massachusetts and then invited some of our favorite artists to grace. As young artists, we couldn’t be more grateful for this opporunity to collaborate with legends like Jermaine Dupri, Diddy, Pharrell, Pusha, Talib Kweli, Bun B., The Mad Rapper, Kardinal Offishall, N.O.R.E, and Jadakiss as well as younger friends like Janelle Monae, Cassie, Wale, Solange, Lady Gaga, and Mickey Factz"

After reading that I was like even if these guys suck the features alone should be scraight. Plus Clinton Sparks flucks with the Clipse so yeah... I've listened to it and I like it, they're like The Racontuers x At The Drive In x The Left Rights x ???. This is gonna ride all summer, and you know what... I'll even say this is an album that's worthy of the coveted "3 out of 3 fish" rating.

I'm gonna kick it with my light skinned homeboy 'Playboy J' and celebrate his birthday before hitting TK's shoe release thingee, I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Up thru dere

It's been sooo long since I've been around a hipster/fashionista/SNKRHD crowd, plus this'll be my first time going to a release party in Atlanta! I'm really looking forward to this, butat the same time, it's shit like this that really makes me miss my earring, I feel... off kilter with only one earring, especially after telling my one homeboy "girls don't one some one hole havin' ass dude, this ain't 1989"

But anyways I'll be in that piece Shmack'd out.

Riiiicky!!!

Being late as always I see Ricki Lake is hosting a VH1 show..I was watching Free Radio and I hear her name called and I look and I'm like "zaaaamn ricki got bad!" I rememeber waaay back when, when people would actually scrap and they would show it on springer, Rude Jude was on Jenny Jones roasting muscled up girls who thought they were hot and Ricki Lake was on talking about stuff. I remember back then saying "yeah, I'd do ricki why not" but now she's got this spanish looking thing goin on... I don't really know how old she is but Ricki could still get it.

Gotcha!

First time going to the Leopard Lounge and it was....alright. I mean it was weird not being with Lloyd, Smitty and E or whatever but I mean 'nothing stays gold forever' right?

I know her from...

I hate people who wanna show you endless pictures of girls on facebook/myspace. When I look at some people's faces when they're showing me these pictures, they have this glazed over look of pride on their faces, like they should be rewarded for having 'sxc friends' in their friends list. When I'm near a computer and somebody starts going to their myspace/facebook to start that bullshit, I'll just walk away. I mean there's only so much I can look at before I start to not give a fuck. The worst is when I ignore them and then they try to get my attention by saying shit like....

"oooooweeeeee, she's bad"

"daaaaamn"

"she got fiiiiine"

To get you to want to investigate what the hell they're doing.

"awwwww man, if you think she's bad, wait till you see....*mouse click, mouse click* Her!!"

Me:She could get it

"That's nothing, this one stays in Turkmenistan and she's shittin on her!

Me: Oh wow.....

"And I know her from (insert noun here)....and this one went to (insert noun here)"

Me:.............cool?

I remember back when I first signed up for myspace back in 2005. I was kinda skeptical about the site because I was all about Hot or Not and my rating of 8. Now my boy Ray was just signing up for it too and somehow he became a cool new person and was bombarded by friend requests, and from that moment on he was all about myspace and showing me the copious amounts of random chicks he was friends with. I've hated people showing me pictures of kids/babies/friends of friends ever since...

back to school gun/computer sale

Sometimes to me it seems that it you pass up a sale then you have wasted money. If you don't spend the money when you have the chance to save big. Then you’re actually losing money in the long run because you could’ve had it and been happy. Now you don’t have it and you kick yourself for not “capitalizing”.
Cinco de mayo caught me in a ‘la plaza’ looking at tires for my ’79 schwinn’ cause with it getting ready to be my first hot ass Georgia summer in awhile, I gotta work on my fitness. Cycling and swimming are whats gonna hopefully get me where I wanna be.

Anyways I was near a pawnshop and the ‘back to school computer/gun sale’ just roped me the fuck in. I go in and check out the stuff and I see two things that catch my eye. A MPC 1000 and a Nikon 35mm camera with a wicked lens on it. So I’m just like damn I could get it and just write it off as a ‘cinco de mayo present’ but I know that I don’t think I’d rock with them for too long because I’m so….I have a lot of things I enjoy doing but I focus on one thing single mindedly until I find something new. Like when I had a few guitars and was getting nice with the guitar, I put that down and got back into beat making. I dived back into producing and it felt good.

This is something I found circa 2005, my “young fresh to death days”. I was young; I had hot beats, a grill and a girlfriend so pretty ‘other girls wanted to give her a kiss.’ You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t that dude!

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The tape's mixed

As always it seems like when I take hiatus' from the computer to live my life I always miss hella shit. Whether it be peoples web logs I like to read, hot shoes coming out I'm sleeping on or new music. In this case it was new music.

I've been fucking with Kid Cudi since I heard this one chick raving about cudi and what not. It in turn made me imeem him and I liked what I heard... Since then "A kid named cudi" has been a staple on my iPhone and I've put a couple people down with the dude.

FYI: A I recently updated and jailbroke my iPhone and it was one of the scariest/rewarding things I have done in awhile. I totally recommend it to anyone with a different carrier who wants a iPhone.

So I saw that he had a song called "daps and pounds", so I downloaded it and it was aight (it didn't really wow me on first listen). Then I see he's got a new mixtape out. So I downloaded it and I most definitely liked it. I would have to say the songs I bump the most are.

1. 'Ask about me' The song is crazy but I think the producer tried to do to much with the beat

2. '09 Freestyle' He just went fucking nuts on this shit and the beat is like 'a milli' but crazier!

3. 'sky high' I just feel super duper cool hoppin out the whip after bumpin this

4. 'switchin lanes' Beast

5. 'poke her face' I love how they just flipped the beat and I'd say cudi came harder than kanye on this

My final concensus is to download it.

I give it 3 out of 3 fried fish (this is the first mixtape ever to recieve 3 fried fishes.)

Don't do me like that

I remember when I was a young lad and between school and house parties there was getting fresh and going to the mall. We'd catch a ride from one of our moms, sometimes we had a ride back, sometimes we didnt. I'd go with my bros and holler at girls through my homeboys...

"aye girl in the pink shirt!!! My homeboy wants to talk to you".

Most of the time we'd go see a movie then post up at the arcade, shoot the shit and see who could pull the baddest chick. I remember we would do this like every time a new cool movie would come out. We went to see black and white cause it had meth and other dudes from the wu tang clan in it. Afterwards we came out and proceed to post up at the arcade, talk shit,and shoot at girls. All of a sudden I see this dude and his girl walking the gauntlet of young thunder cats posted up near the exit.

Now this dudes girl had a waist like a pencil and a ass like a water buffalo, the ass you look at and scrunch your face up and say "ummm" (keep in mind this is 2001 when it was taboo/rare to have a big ass like that). So they're walking together and all eyes are on dudes chick, when one of the young thunder cats walks behind the couple and slaps the girl on her ass...
*slap*
All of a sudden the girl whirls around and trys to hit the dude and is callin' the dude all sorts of names. But the "ass slapper" backs up into his homies and now all of them are cussin the girl out "Bitch this, bitch that...etc" all the while the chick with the fat ass' boyfriend is trying to hold her back and pull her to the doors saying "Let it go, fuck them niggas" or something like that to calm her down, cause she is like 38 hot about the shit. So after a quick second she kinda looks to her boy like.

"What the fuck, you're gonna let that ride?!?!"

The look on her boyfriends face was classic. So he gets her to the doors and she like shakes him off and storms out the second door as the gaggle of 'young punks' advances on them both calling the dude "scary as hell" and most of the bystanders are just saying like "heeeelll nah"/"if that was me..I woulda.." Even myself, I told my dogs "I woulda stole off on one of those mufuckas, nobody tries me like that"

I left the mall that night at 16 years old thinking that that chicks boyfriend was a scary ass dude/straight bitch and I myself would never let that slide...they woulda had to hold me the fuck back!!!

Now 8 years later I think back to that... As much as it hurts to swallow that pride, I don't know what I would've done in that situation. The way I see it there are only two choices...

A. You swing on dude who slapped her ass and race your girl to the car or try to get as many good hits in and remember to go to the fetal position as you get rushed from every angle, knocked to the ground, and stomped out like a brush fire. All the while your girl is crying and screaming "Leave him alone you're KILLING HIM!!!"

B. You let it go, refuse to stoop to thier level losing major cool/man points and probably the respect of your girlfriend (if not your girlfriend). Because you can't make her understand that they would've mollywhopped your ass and probably her ass too!

I remembered that because I saw "obsessed" with the "DJ chick" and in the mall out here, under 17 young punks can't be in the mall past like 4pm cause of a curfew. Besides beyonce hamming it up on screen, her kicking him out of HIS house and that big ass little boy who they carried around and wouldn't let him walk...it was a decent movie even though it could've been a straight to DVD.