Andre...Becoming a douche?

I've been in "a relationship" with the DJ chick for a little over a month now and things are getting really wierd. It's been sugar and shit, but for the most part sugar. I kinda feel like I fucked up by telling her about my copious amounts of 'jumping up and down' in VA, because that combined with my wondering eye, lurstful heart equals the third degree about all sorts of shit.

But anyways I mean she's really about making things work and 'being good' and I know if I was a different type of dude this really could go far... BUT I'm always feeling like

"I could do better..right?"

Which is terrible, because I know how hard it is to find a chick who's attractive and...

+ has no kids

+ isn't bitter as fuck/jaded/guarded like a mufucka from being fucked over many a time

+has a job that allows her to enjoy spontaneous activities cause I'm a outgoing dude

+has a car

+has a sense of humor/adventure

+has hobbies

+a sense of style

+/- has her own place

I mean it's like girls like that only exist in the blogsphere... and I've found one but like I told my dude Nick when he asked about her...

"She's the type of girl you cheat on cause you just want... something different."

He laughed like I was joking but I was dead ass which is a douche thing to say but it's true. I know it's selfish as hell/not fair to her to be 'one foot in, one foot out' of the relationship when she's all in but it's like that sometimes.

I recently met a very pretty girl from Trinidad who's got a body like a shotgun, blue 'queen of the dancehall' highlights in her hair and a son. She's cooler than a box fan when I call her and txt her and make plans to plan...

The late night tip

Things kind of have been happening really fast and I like it. I had my interview and blew it out of the water. I was all like "Conceptualized this to increase that" and "Directly supervised and delegated on a daily basis" this... So I'll see what happens on that.

I went to a training class this weekend at Agnes Scott College and it went very well.. But thats kind of where things stop going as planned...

I met a girl since I've been here. She's 20 and very cool, her voice sounds just like 'kelis', she DJ's at clubs around here, and she's very straightforward. I've been spending quite a bit of time with her and it's been very interesting. After she taught me the basics of blending and DJ'ing, we did the 'golden glide' skate thing and it got cut kinda short cause of the hail in this crazy ass georgia weather. So 'easter sunday' she stops by to bring me a plate and we talked and ate. So we're sitting there talking and we just started kissing and messing around, my shirts off and my hands are under her when she told me...

"I wanna go to your room"

I wanted to do it because.... I just wanted to do it, but I knew that it wasn't the right thing to really do because I don't want to jump up and down with her and then just lose interest in her non-sexual company and the fact that 'doin it' would really take it to "the next level". So I asked her...

Me: Are you sure?

"umm hmm"

So we go back to my room and she had them "powerful draws" (this song is just so bad but just saying "powerful draws" out loud when refering to good coochie makes me giggle.)

powerful draws - luney tunez

and I really put it down. So after afterwards came the pillow talk, which kinda had my head spinning...

DJ Chick: "It's crazy I mean all the stuff we have in common (her birthday is 3 days after mine,she DJ's and I produce(sometimes), and other stuff I can't think of) I really am glad I met you"

Me: I know right...



DJ Chick: "I really haven't opened my heart to to many guys, but I'm getting the feeling like you're someone I could open my heart to..."

Me:*..........*
I'm a good person I don't really wanna hurt anybody...you know?



The conversation continued down that path with her asking me straight questions and me giving ambiguous answers, her telling me about her douche ex, and how all her friends are in relationships except her, I mean just opening up...

So it's kind of late and her mom txts her asking if she's gonna come home, and she looks at me for the answer... Even though I know I'm probably setting myself up to be in a bad position, I said yes... So she spent the night which was real cool and we had 'morning delight', now she wants me to meet her mom and apparently "not many guys meet her mother"


Even though she's got that brita water filter juice, I'm not gonna let that make my mind up for me until I know for sure that's what I wanna do.It seems to me that she feels like the fifth wheel with her friends and I kinda wanna shame myself for being so cynical of her intentions, because part of me wants the BF/GF thing, but another part of me is saying
"You can do better!
Just remember you can always do you on the side...."

Give 'till it hurts!

How far is too far to go for a relationship? Whether it be a romantic relationship or just a friendship.

Luther says "Never too much, Never too much"

Andre says

"I don't know about all that, but I do think it should be like 50/50 or even 60/35 you know keep it 100;it keeps the thrill of the hunt in the courting process ...but any more than that...is that just taking the piss?