Nothing louder than the silence of an unsatisfied woman...

I always say you talk about shit and you start to smell it... I was talking about P.E. and it fucking happened... I'm not really trippin though because it was with the "girl not worth blogging about" so yeah...
Anyways they removed blogger from the list of unauthorized sites on my ships LAN!
So now I can sit in the shop read blogs and browse party pic sites, browse forums and just fuck off on the internet 'till my hearts content increase my production tenfold, by staying current on my training and rate specific qualifications!

I never really talk about my job, I'm kinda like chandler bing. So here's just some pics from my time aboard this extension of american terrorism might!

This is a CIWS (see wiz) or close in weapons system...it fires like 4500 rounds per minute, and the bullets are about the size of a toilet paper cardboard roll... When it fires you can feel your soul vibrate

Helo's were just testing there flares while we were out to sea...

Oh man, our ship got a distress call from the Celebrity X cruise liner for our medical facilities. We have a fully functioning hospital with dental and surgery and the whole nine...So we sent our small boat out to get the guy, fix him up and send him back.
These are Osprey V-22's and they are supposed to combine the best of both worlds, but in flight they look more like they'd make a good sequel to black hawk down!
It's Magnus Von Awesomness the 4x worlds strongest man! He came on when we were in Iceland... Iceland is very high priced and not as much fun as I thought it would be... I paid to much for liqour and the strip clubs were far from european! When we were in Philly the tides got kinda high and they said we were gonna scrape the Delaware bridge. We came hella close but didn't. I went to this club in philly called chrome and them philly gals gets down! I saw the spot where Beanie punched somne rapper, I can't remember who on broad st.
When we were in the Red Sea the cap'n called a swim call and we sank the ass end of the ship down and went swimming. I tried to dive of the back and clipped my foot something fierce!
It's that guy from chili's/applebee's! He came onboard to cook some shit and judge how well our own cooks can cook. He apparently had a shwo on food network but at the time I hadn't the foggiest who he was!
Thanksgiving 2007, a time to eat, tell good stories and jokes and just enjoy the 'itis

its tiffany fallon playboy 2005 playmate of the year..she came onboard and I was like ok..I guess she's aight..Then I saw her all dolled up and wearing something kinda nice..I was like Zaammn, somebody actually had her playboy and brought it for her to sign. She handled it quite well.
Speaking of Philly, it's that guy who owns Geno's, the best place for a cheesesteak in Philly...He made cheesesteaks in our galley like a slave.
Aw man..We stopped in Puerto Rico and I had plaaans for the manosas that night! But the first night I had duty, which meant I couldn't go anywhere. So that night we get a message to respond to Jamaica cause hurricane felix might hit it, but instead it hit Nicaragua and we went to respond.
More of Felix relief efforts...See Ju Ju, the government isn't always bad...trust and love your Gov't!
Celebrity X guy being brought on the ship.

Denmark was very cool...We met these real cool danish chick who wanted to fuck me and this other white guy I went out with brains out, but we had to be back at 1am and lloyd was being a biggity biggity BITCH...We're in a bar, three of us three of them. Me and the other dude go for the attractive ones and leave the undesireable on for lloyd...SO he doesn't wanna take one for the team.
Fleet Week 07... I met the most beautiful girl here. Asia NVR FRGT. Met up with my big sis and she took me to like prince st, canal st. chinatown, flight club. I found out the answer to a ? I had for the longest... What do NY'ers do in the club? Harlem Shake? Dame Dash Dance? Chicken Noodle Soup? Nah them mufuckas get down..Me and lloyd were in that bitch in our white's shirts unbuttoned grinding on them hoes boy, we had to be back at like 2 and my phne died and lloyd knew we were late...So were running back to the ship at like 2:50. I come up with a plan: Lloyd got to drunk and didn't wanna come back to the ship and I took care of him like a good shipmate and risked being late to not leave him behind. Kinda fucked up, cause he couldn't go out anymore, but I could...
Halifax...This club thier called the (liqour)Dome. dollar drinks. 'nuff said. Met some cool girls there angela, Bobbi Jo NVR FRGT. Got a chance to chill with my boys and just talk some real shit with them too!
Our captain get a well deserved pie in the face!
It's the Philly Dildo pleasuring a female sailor.

Around the world and back to loved ones... Being out to sea makes some people crazy, with people getting dear john/jane letters, being gone for 6 months coming back to a 3 month pregnant wife... Aww man.

NVR FRGT! / I've been tagged

I've been tagged by That girl...Brown Chicken Brown Cow.. (if you say it right it sounds funny) But I'm changing the rules...cause I just wanna shake shit up... Normally you tag people and link to them blah blah blah... But no, The first five people to comment, consider yourself tagged, how you like them apples?

Here are the Rules:

3.Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself

1.I was riding with Lloyd to go somewhere when I see this dude in a chicken suit outside a KFC holding a sign that says like "KFC = MURDER" and there were all these other protesters outside... So this chick walks up to the car (we were at a red light) and hands me a pamphlet that talks about how KFC tortures there chickens and the inhumane conditions they keep them in for the sake of profit. From that moment on I decided to stop fuckin with KFC... that was like in Febuary '08.
Fast forward to 10/17/2008 I'm at a Kentacohut and I'm hungry as hell, I look at the dual menus and the only thing that looks like it will fill me up is the two piece with mac and cheese and mashed potatoes. I battle with my concience and order it then return home to eat it. As I drive off I see protesters walking with there signs to KFC...



I get home and I feel like pookie
as I opened that plastic container and smelled that sweet crispy herbs and spices. That first bite was like an old GF flying back into town for a 3 hour layover...Ecstasy! I wish guilt always tasted like that!

2.I'm a closet nerd, although I'm slowly coming out the closet with the females I talk to. All my boys know it's nothing for them to call me and find me engaged in geeking out.
3.everytime I jump with a girl, the thought of a two-minute drill is always in the back of my mind and it scares the shit outta me. I mean I'm not very selfish about sex and I get more pleasure form the more I give....because I'm so generous. I'm a giver by nature.
4.I love disco. I watch a movie like Saturday Night Fever or Dazed and Confused before I go out and it's sets my swagger on fire! Those really were the days. Girls weren't crabbing with the coochie, the only thing you had to worry about from unprotected sex was crabs and pregnancy. 4:20 anyone?
5.I still have yet to find my personal brand that truly expresses my personality through my clothes. I'm still evolving it. I'll find myself shopping and be like. "Damn I wish I had a stylist, it'd make it so much easier!"
6. I miss the triple kiss...do y'all remember that? I'd be watching spring break 1999 and be like "I can't wait to go to college, go on spring break and run through all those drunk co-eds!" I don't even think Spring Break is the same anymore like that... I believe 2K99 -2K01 was like the GGW era

Live action saturday night blog

Blogging live from granby street, in semi real time...

Damn I can't believe it...I'm crossing a lil street and walking behind a car turning left. So I come out from behind the car cautiously and cross, when I see this silver avalon or accord making this high speed left turn about to hit me! I wish I could describe in words how cool the jump I did to evade that car was! I mean if I hadn't of jumped like I did...this and future posts would just be notes in my sidekick. So after I land and the driver screams "sorry", I turn to this dude who was walking behind me and I'm like "did you see that shit?!?"
Dude bro: oh wow man I can't believe that shit, you like jumped over that car!
Me: that shit was crazy right!
Anyways
I need a GF..and not just as a home base to be able to have a air about myself that's says to girls I talk to on the side "I don't need to fuck you, I've got a chick at home....so I could take it or leave it toots!"
I'm talkin certified GF material , she could be kinda slutty, cause I'm no angel my damn self, I don't think she could be under 21, so that rules out Puerto Rico and the "girl not worth blogging about" who's 18 and talkin to me about spending the weekend and not being scared of dick and stuff to me on the phone, and I don't even know her name! I never saved it in my phone. I think it rhymes with a female body part or household item?

I'm at this dead ass night club about to go to anther one in search of this..and kickin myself on the way there alone with my thoughts about all the girls I kinda turned my nose up at who really wanted to build something... I mean I'm a non traditional - traditionally semi attractive dude and I'm cool and I've got a wit sharper than a rapier! So I can be kinda picky with who I want to be with to a certain extent...
A swat team of bad hoes just walked in 23:36, paused to pose like they just hopped off of the next bus. The one in the AA liquid leggings has got these other hoes in here hatin! I'm secretly hoping that one of the girls is "jazzy girl" and I can tell her how I've grown since cinco de mayo!
No such luck!

The birthday girl is in the boxing ring of the club and her team is working the floor, all eyes on them type shit.

Anyways... while I was laughing at some girl in a scrunch skirt who looked like a sucked on sweet tart or like a damn speed bag. One of the bad chicks team members fell on the dance floor.

So yeah I mean I'm gonna have to find a GF or die y'all. I just got a members only leather jacket (which I manifested) and I wanna drape it around a girls shoulders so she can inhale the vintage smell of rich mahogany leather. I want a girl to eat kiwi and seedless grapes with after we quench our lurst. I ruled out tundra this g freak that Lloyd and numerous others have ran up in...but just kinda ruled her out though cause her baby angel face hides "that christina ricci, chain me to the radiator itch".
If I get drunk enough tonight I'm gonna dig through the trash can with the late night apologies and promises. Prolly not though, I'm still me and I've got my dignity. Seeing this birthday squad of broads, makes me think, I've gotta do it ginormagantuan for my birthday (Nov.7). I'm talking house party 6 big!
I'm outta here.
This next spot is full of philipinos and trendy AZN's..I did pull a tall "clear girl" with my hot dance moves by the bathroom though. She turned 27 today and we made out a lil bit. Do people even still call it makin out anymore?

I hate this fucking Get Crazy song 0:08 and they play that knocked up song that I never knew was a song..."Shwiiiiinng oh shit there she go she shake it like egyptian" 0:18 I remember seeing that seen in knocked up and thinking, I wonder what wack ass nigga made this song for the movie!

0:59
Jaguar paw txtd me and she is in this club I was in earlier tonight. Even though I'm tired of dancing with AZN's here, I don't wanna go back over there.
I hate dancing with girls who can't stay on beat and wanna do their own thing. I call it doin too much! Should I get off beat and try and enjoy the dance to their strange between the groove rhythm, or just keep jigging on beat while missing out on her offbeat asian ass? Or just turn her face to face and hold her still put that meat on her and give her a whine up? Dancing should look fluid and mellifluous to onlookers I believe, that's why I use my thorax whn I dance. The few times I danced with JP she was good for doing too much sometimes and that sucks. If I was with my squad here tonight, I would just dance with this AZN for a second then just walk away from her.
The clubs letting out and no after club fuckery.
I'm just gonna go back to my car, I've got some calls to make and I need to focus on nothing but driving home.
1:55
Home. Safe and un-DUI-ed...even though I promised myself I wouldn't ever DWI after that sep 11,2005 wake up call! Shit happens.

Movado the gully god

I've been flucking with dancehall lately and I never really realized how tight it was. I mean just hearing it make me wanna "have a gal wine pon mi ting"

Anyways I went to see Movado, and dude killed it....They had this dude here open up but I mean mufuckas came to see movado so he didn't even get any love.

I really was suprised that Va had such a scrong dancehall following, I mean there were even white girls in there looking like wueens of the dancehall and they were gettin it too!

What is winehousing?

I've incorporated winehousing into my everyday vocabulary since about the beginning of summer now. Occasionally people will be like "fuck are you talking about?" and then I you know give them a brief description and etymology of the word. But I believe that when you look up winehousing in Webster's Dictionary, this picture should be there.


-I've finally got my old laptop fixed a brand spanking new laptop, top of the line, I spared no expense.So yeah...

How Andre met Lloyd pt.3 Lurst in Translation

So we're in the raft on our way there and I'm scared as shit, I mean I can swim and all but the thought of what's under this lake plus it was a little nippy outside too and I had on my new puma's too... so after what seemed like a eternity we get across the river.
So we debark and after a short walk we get to the get together spot, which is a pretty impressive raging fire with fallen trees well worn from many a ass sitting, kinda like the campsite from "Are you afraid of the Dark." Plus it had those real comfortable collapsible camping chairs. A cooler full of beer, and munches and two three person tents. So we all sit around the fire and have our palaver.
Now as our hosts sit down they all crack a beer and offer one to me and "southstar". I can't stand the taste of beer, unless it's some real shit like Smirnoff ice or mike's hard something. So I'm like
"aww nah, heh heh I had to much to drink already, I don't think my stomach could take it!"
Corn fed white boy (CFWB) 1: That's good cause bias the perfect thing for that!

Corn fed white boy (CFWB) 2: yeah have a bia!
*cracks one and hands one to me and lloyd*

I felt like Jake in the Monte Carlo with Denzel...I gotta think quick cause I know how serious white people take drinking beer. So I take it and all their blue eyes were on me as I brought it to my lips and took a fake (but very convincing) swig.
So I peep how dark it is and I just start pouring it out as I set it by my side, and after they see me "kill" that first one, they're just feeding me "bia's". But fuck that shit, "southstar" can drink them "bia's" but jeremiah is gonna stay woke.
So they tell me how for the guys the only thing to really look forward to is lobster season for the money you get for catching lobster cause it's like a family business for some, and the money the tourists bring in during lobsterfest. Cause people come down from places like Canada just for it. Nicole was like it sucks cause girls had to look forward to being fishermans wives if they were fucking with a dude who's dad was a fisherman.
I regale them with tales of life at sea, exotic women of the middle east, and me and "southstar" just tell 'em how it is in the ATL (lloyd's a DSGB for real, it's crazy cause he grew up right across the street

from my duplex on 741 English Ave in downtown atlanta, which is fully furnished with appliances, minutes away from CAU and the dome and perfect for the young professional or college student.

So now the fire is winding down. And it's getting kinda chilly out for reals, but my lurst is still a raging inferno. so CFWB1 is like "I'm gonna turn in" and we all head to the tents. I'm like "where are me and "southstar" gonna sleep?" Nicole takes my hand and leads me to a tent with one of the CFWB's in it already laying down. So in this 4 person tent it's "southstar" with a blanket on my right, nicole on my left sharing a comforter with me and a CFWB in a sleeping bag on nicole's other side. So as soon as we lay down and our under the covers, the lurst makes a puppet of my body. So we're under this comforter just hunching, kissing and rubbing like we're teens at a church lock in. So our mucking about, her moaning and our heavy breathing finally disturbed the CFWB and he was like "I'm leaving to get some sleep"

So now it really goes down, she kicks the comforter back and is laying spread eagle while I play with her coochie and she's playing with "that bad boy" at the same time. So while my hand is rubbing and fingering, I feel lloyd's hot breath while he's reaching over me and his fingers touching mine down there in her bajango! I'm like "Lloyd!! Fuck are you doin!" *As I push his hands away* But not real loud cause I don't want to spoil the intimacy, when he has the nerve to say to me...
"stop hoggin' the guts!"
I don't know what to do, well I do actually cause even though she's like just laid back moaning and enjoying herself and just so ready, I can't let this continue can I? Plus with nicole stroking me, and "southstar" leaning over me to get to her goodies, its a little to close for comfort! So I strap up and roll over on top of her and jack rabbit fuck the shit outta her all while lloyd is just there looking crazy. So I put it down and we finished and I just passed the hell out and went scraight to sleep. So I wake up before everybody in our tent with morningwood harder than termite teeth! Nicole is knocked the fuck out and I'm soo ready. So I fake yawn and stretch under the comforter and stuff trying to nudge her awake.
Nothing.
I try the old "rub it on her booty"
Nothing
So I lay down and close my eyes and wake up around the time everyone else is. I've got that gunk in my eyes from sleeping in my contacts so I walk with "southstar" to the rivers edge and wash my face and pee like a wildman. So while I'm "washing" my face Lloyd charges me up like...
"I can't believe you cuffed them guts last night!"
Me: Fuck are you talkin about? You shoulda just put it on her shoulder or something.
"But you slapped my hand away"
Me: I did, didn't I?

After refreshing and relieving ourselves in the muddy banks..we just stood and enjoyed the early morning light hitting the water. It truly was a beautiful sight.
So the CFWB's are paking there stuff away cause they're just gonna go across the lake and stay in the cabin over there. So we all pile in the boat and it seems worse because I can actually see how much the boat dips with nicole,lloyd the two CFWB's and myself in the boat. I mean the waterline was like 6 inches from the lip of the boat. We get halfway across and this boat comes flying down the water like 30 yards away and that wake looks like it's gonna tip us! It doesn't but it's still scary as hell.
So we get back to the car and on the ride down nicole was telling me how she's not normally like that she just got caught up in the moment..yadda yadda yada

So she drops us off at her house for us to walk back to the ferry. On the way back we walk past the Lobsterfest Parade, criticizing the sea godesses and stuff and we haven't stopped walking since....
-Fin


Pictures of the raft ride, lloyd in the tent lookin like shawn kemp and the car ride back

Pictures of the lobsterfest sea goddess parade and shriners

Roots,Estelle and GCH

This is how the roots came onstage...



And here's a gagglefuck of pictures of the concert...I've got a shit ton of video, but it takes soo long to uplad so yeah.... and as much shit as I was talkin about them being fake ass pharrell's and stuff, I have been fucking with GCH moderatly tough, I guess it's just hearing them live, it may've swayed my opinion.