20080621

Happy belated Fathers Day!



I wish I would have seen this earlier.. My sentiments exactly...

I always said I never really wanted to be like my father; but I with my lurstful heart and selfishness and willingness to shirk responsibility. Who knows how I'll turn out. My mom is always telling me to call him and how his father passed before he could ever make amends. But the bad things I remember about him outweight the good. I remember learning the words to "Nuthin But a G thang" and seeing the video at his house for the first time, along with "hermans head". Or how my father never was without Carmex (much like me, I need it to survive and in the words of Diddy; "It helps me maintain my sexy") and big red gum.

But I remember him putting my hand on the circle stove burner for not knowing when christmas was and numerous other fuck ups, and where coming from school he'd act all nice and shit and right when I came out the shower, that extension cord had me diving around like greg louganis... but thats just love. So in my mind I'm like what can you really do for me father? Last year with "my daughter who wasn't my daughter crisis" he tried to charge me up about these girls out here... Come on now, if it wasn't for your "advice" I'd have a brother!

6 comments:

i.can't.complain. said...

hmm.

the circle burner on the stove is no hoe.

sucks, babe

-1-

Angie Marie said...

wow ur blog is really deep. my dad was very abusive 2 & after my mom left him i thought well that was just how he showed his love. he comes around maybe once a year, if that, sayin how hes changed, but its all bull shit 2 me. i always have ppl in my ear sayin u should give him another chance, but its my business if i choose 2 let him in r not. if u do choose 2 let ur father become closer in ur life make sure ur doin it 4u & not 4 other ppl. if ur not ready then dont force urself 2 do nething, because i know how this situation is. i hope everything goes good tho & im sure u wont b like ur father:)

Unknown said...

daddy crap.
mine had the closest relationship despite my mom and him breaking off.
until i was about 12... the time i needed him the most.
i thot i'd gotten over him, i hated him. it was the one time i could curse around my moms, i would tell her "he was a pc of shit and i fucking hate him".
then, not too long ago, my moms handed me the phone.
Him.
i hardly got a few words in.
he said "sorry" like that cut it. Pissed me off. He says we're gunna chill this summer. I might just chew him out. i guess im just a big unforgivin` bitch. idk. daddy shit sux.

arychtexas said...

WOW JIOP well man my pops never hit me i have seen him since 98 99! i say this man you should always try to be your own man and not like no man b/c we all fall short ya dig! You got a good heart but the lurst my drowing you out hahahahhahahahaha!

Samson said...

@ICC
No pun intended but, I can't complain, I like to think it made me a scrong man

@blah
Yeah... it's the choice that killin me, because I can hold a grudge forever so, I don't even know...

@Da 1ne
Daddy shit does sux... but who knows, you guys might be able to patch it up in the summer; or just build back that common ground and be able to work from there...

@rych
You're right bro...

Taryn said...

whether he is purely absent from your life or physically in the home but emtionally absent. You basically hate him. Their were times i felt like i hated my dad, but I know if something happened to him my world would shatter..because truth is i love him. I love him, i just dont like him.

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