Plus and minus

I can't see how a friend of mine can get away with doing it and not have any real consequences (that I know of) as soon as I start doing it, the worst possible thing happens. I've dealt with the consequences because I knew while I was doing it what could happen, but I always thought..."It just won't happen because you know, I don't want it to"
When I saw the blue cross I saw my life going down the tubes. Plans for buying a new house, plans for taking my style to the next level and even future relationships that I will be involved in. All sullied.

I freaked the hell out and so did you.

I don't see how you can really be happy about this or see it as a blessing because it really isn't. Yeah you tell me 'thousands of people do it and they do just fine.' I just don't think you undderstand what you are getting into. I'm sure if those same "thousands of people" had the opportunity to make the decision I want to make, they would.

I guess we're both being selfish and trying to convince each other to see things from a different point of view. I think scorpio's like myself are generally stubborn people, and sweetheart my feet are stuck in the sand. I'm not buddging on this and I know that beneath your moral grandstanding and woe is me talk, you know what I'm saying to be true.

With all sorts of things going on right now, this really is the last thing I need. I mean shit, we're supposed to leave in two days! I'm just glad my grandmother's condition isn't as dire as it was initially explained to me.

It's getting real in the field

I woke up this morning at the crack of noon to the news from my mother that my grandmother is in the hospital ICU. After several skin grafts to her leg, it has gotten infected and it might need to be amputated. Her being a diabetic and 86 years old complicates this alot.

Thankfully she lives in London and healthcare is provided to her and she won't be drowning in medical bills.

The choice really shouldn't be that hard to make as I'm leaving for Barbados on saturday, I could forgo my vacation and travel to London and do the right thing instead of sending her flowers and get well foolishness; I myself could be the actual rose and she would be able to see me. Part of me wants to do that because I know it's the right thing to do and God forbid I be put in a situation where something happens to her and I chose to lay up on a beach with a girl who I feel like I love but know in my heart of hearts that there's definitely a countdown on our relationship.

The other part of me says

"You can do both, I mean you can afford to do both and you can tell the YMCA about the situation and they will have to understand. You get paid at this valeting every night in cash and you could absorb a hit like that financially." As selfish as that sounds I want to go on vacation, but how good of a time can I really have knowing that I'm having fun in the sun, with my grandmother on a respirator.

Either way, I don't want to make the wrong choice. On one hand I've got a girlfriend who just got her passport, has never been anywhere but Florida and is really psyched about going with me. Even though I know if we don't go she'll be very disappointed and I hate more than anything to disappoint anyone, but at the same time I know that if she feels for me the way she says she does, she will understand the brevity of the situation.

Add that to the fact that seeing my mother she tells me " ....You don't want to wait 'till someone passes to honor them and wish you would've seen them. That's something that you will never forgive yourself for."

Two tickets to paradise

The only thing that would make this better is female compainionship and I can think of like 3 girls I'd like to be here with but oh well right?

I leave for Barbados in about a week or so and I feel like I should be more excited. I mean I've got a girlfriend who's really good to me despite the fact that she thinks I'm too lursty and used to dating/being with whores who want sex everyday. I don't think sex is something that can be left out of any relationship, so I don't know where things are gonna go...Well I do but what can I really do? I don't want anything like that, that's not freely given. However; I do plan on enjoying the time we spend.

Even though my job with Emory gave me the axe, (no body spray) I managed to get put on valeting at a popular Atlanta night club. The hours are crazy but I get paid in cash and get to flirt with fellatious women all night.

facts on fiction

24 Years ago on this day you were born. I've known you since november 16 and we really took our relationship to the next level during spring break. We've gotten into fights about my metrosexuality and my 'down with the swirlness'; hell, were even supposed to be going to Barbados; I'm so glad you're gonna get your passport! I digress, today is a day all about you. I tell you to meet me at a massage parlor, not that kind silly! The kind were they put hot stones on you and pamper you ith deep tissue massages minus the happy ending (do girls even get happy endings?) There I go rambling again! Anyways I tell you to go there, and give your name to the receptionist. I don't know how it is gonna be but you'll get a great massage for 30 minutes while listening to new age music. After you're super relaxed, head to your nearest MAC store...what do you mean you don't know where it is? We've both got iPhones, Map it! You got it now? Good. Give them your name and tell them to 'go ham', just don't overdue it you feel me because I do plan to sex you something awful tonight. I know you don't drive a Ford truck, but tonight I'll be exploring you......Of course I wasn't serious girl you know I'm just joking...But for reals, you're gonna get it. So now you look how you feel right? Hair freshly blown out by the Dominicans cause you got it done the day before so you won't be sitting in the shop today, relaxed as fuck from the hot stone deep tissue massage, and MAC'd up. Wonderful! Meet me for dinner in East Atlanta. Yes, I mean the Mexican restaurant we went to on valentines day, were I stole the napkin to commemorate this occasion. I knew you be relaxed and look really hot from the pampering, but hot damn! You look like a plate of hot macadamia nut cookies! I know you think I'm fuckin with you when I say shit like that, but you look damn good. That Arden B dress is blessing your curves, your peep toe stilettos are showing of your pedicure, I know you only told them to paint your big toe and second toe but that'll be our secret.

We eat and laugh and I can tell your feeling that big ass patron margarita you had, that shit was strong as hell and you're getting another one? I hope you know I'm gonna do all that freaky shit to your drunk ass tonight! Yeah right..... I know whatever, and don't smile at me cause you and I know both you can't take it.... you're right we will see....

As we valet I see you tryna see the name of the hotel, it's not the W but it's very nice and wait till you see the view of the skyline. As we walk through the lobby I see the sideways stares, they see me leading you by the hand and you already know what time it is and what we're about to do. We get up to the room and I tell the expectant bellhop "A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."

I look at you as we enter the room. I spent some time in here, I did. You see the flowers on the bed and in the sink, you smell the Lacoste red I sprayed strategically in the room to give it "my smell" and you turn and kiss me. I kiss you back. I can taste the liquor on your breath and I know you don't wanna fuck around at all. I squeeze were I want and you try to backpedal to the bed.. Uh uh. I want to make you weak in the knees.

Wakey Wakey

I know you're probably gonna say you don't remember to much of last night, which I think you just say when you do something nasty to me. Anyways I always found it crazy how you would say you wake up when I'm not in the bed with you but upon waking up you should see I'm gone and in my place is a delicious breakfast of your faves. French Toast, hash browns with jalepenos and cheese, and cheese eggs. It's probably wouldn't be the food that kept your eye. The envelope with your name written in old english would set your interest on fire. I can see you grabbing it and reading the three lines on letter inside.

'happy birthday'

-143

Andre

You wanna fudge with me?!?

What do y'all think, super fudged up or creative and cool?

Oh yeah I went to new orleans and rallied with my BFFAE....I'll put up the pic tails laters.

Sometimes, I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion

I spent my spring break doing a whole lot of nothing, and this picture represents my spring break. Even though I've got like three or five papers to write, pictures to draw in my sketchbook and a few art gallery critiques to write up; They aren't due till like next month so I've got like a whole month to do them. even though me and 'lisa' are almost complete opposites and thinking of the ways we differ, there is like no reason we should be together at all because she...

- Can't come to terms with my metrosexuality.

After I lost that 'gucci mane body', My style got wilder, my shirts got smaller and my pants got tailored with a modern fit. I've always got manicures because in business and in life, one of the first things people look at are hands. But to her it's all gay and unbecoming of a man.

-Isn't down with the swirl

Well she really just isn't down with the fact that I'm down with the 'swirl'. I tell her I don't discriminate, and she says "Y'all (black men) just want anything not black!" When she found out about "elaine" (via facebook snooping) I almost caught myself defending why I was with her...

-Doesn't love music

She's content just to listen to the radio.

-Wants children

Like a lot of childless single girls around 23-25, they feel like some kind of countdown has started. When I tell certain girls I really "I don't see myself wanting/having children 'till at I'm least 30 or 27."

the response is always something like

"You're gonna be an old man when he grows up"

"You're gonna be chasing him around in a walker"

"That's too old"

*screwface*

but there's something about her so I guess we can agree to disagree...

Something about vintage american muscle seems like the best thing ever. It's an 88 Pontiac Firebird and even though I prefer mine coca cola brown with the bird on the hood, the red suits it just fine.

Spring Holiday

I would be lying if I didn't say that MTV played an integral role for me wanting to go to college. I used to watch say what karaoke, and jerry springer on the beach, girls with their breasts all out and alcohol and more girls..Awww man... Then, just when I though it couldn't get any better,MTV invented the triple kiss.

My spring break will mostly be spent relaxing with 'lisa' the same girl I work with, I've been teaching her the guitar and she's getting it kinda... I plan on cooking some of my famous coriander chicken dish and some other indian food dishes... Other than that I'll just use this break to reassess and enjoy some of this wonderful Georgia spring air in the great indoors.

What'll y'all be doing?