What a difference a year makes

How true is that?

About one year ago I was...
-waiting for GTA4 to come out
-talking to Jaguar Paw like everyday
-sweating "jazzy girl" from my public speaking class
-sweating "puerto rican chica'' from my sociology class

I remember when I first started reading peoples weblogs, I would be like "I can't wait till I've been writing for a year!"

I would say four things made me start this weblog...

one. was reading "I hope they serve beer in hell" which is a book written by Tucker Max about his crazy booze filled sexual exploits and other zanyness. After finishing that I was like "Even though I don't get sloppy drunk like that and tear shit up, I get it in just as much as he does and my sexcapades are just as entertaining and sometimes even more comical."
After a few late night txt sessions and convos, it's about 2am I finally got her to come over after the club. My room is clean, my sexbox is ready to play baby making tunes at the pull of a trigger, condoms are cleverly hidden under the pillow and my roomate is asleep. I'm outside directing her how to get here when I see her come around the corner. I make small talk as I steer her to my room. Of course since she's tipsy, she's thirsty so I grab her a bottled water and come back and she's got her pants off and is in my bed already. So I'm like....

"This is fucking great"

So I hand her her water and take off my shorts, and since I wear boxers, she can see I'm rocked up. So I climb in my bed and ask her to lift her head up so I can get something..So naturally she wants to see what I'm getting. She sees the condom and looks at me like I'm crazy.

"uuhhhh what are you doing?"

Me: just making sure it's there...

"....there for what?"

Me: There for me to use!

"........On who?

Me: You?

"Nah I don't wanna do anything I just wanna go to sleep!"
Two....Me and Lloyd are in the club and instead of prowling the dance floor we just post up on the dance floor and see what we can see. I spot a sexy puerto rican looking chick dancing with her homegirl and without alerting Lloyd so he can get her friend, I do my 'signature ask for a dance move' and we dance the night away...It's closing time at the club and we're walking together to the parking lot. Of course me being a drunk gentleman, I ask the always classy...

"Can I walk you to your car"
Girl: You don't have to I'm parked across the street anyways...
"Good, cause I really don't wanna walk that far, but here let me get your number and I'll call you tommorow..."
Girl: *weird look* Ok...

So I'm riding tipsy in the passenger on the way back to base and I pull out my trusty sidekick and write this...

The club was in Jacksonville

and the puerto rican lookin girl was  actually half native american, and while it wasn't a whirlwind romance in the classical sense. There was most definitely something there those few days we spent with each other. I mean I'm a sailor "sailing from port to port, going from bed to bed and bar to bar" right? So it was all the more crazy that we get back to Virginia, and I fly back down and spend the week with her.

three...Moving into my place with 'mike' was something else. My room had my respectable collection of shoes, clothes and of course my albums and turntables. 
No TV. There was a big ass plasma tv in the living room that couldn't have the 'sexbox' hooked up cause "it would fuck up the tv". So I would basically be in my room phone boning while listening to albums. Which got pretty fucking boring, I mean I had a few girls coming through and stuff but it was that down time that was killing me, I mean there is only so much VH1 reality I can take. I'd have conversations with myself that went like
"I wanna go somewhere"
Me: Where
"I don't know...somewhere"
Me: and do what?
"I don't know something....something exiciting!
four....In about April of 2007, my ship went into drydock for major repairs... Imagine when a car get's serviced and lifted up on lifts, so you can walk under it. That's what my ship was on. Since a lot of the engine and shit like that was getting worked on, there was no drinkable water, no food (other than vending machines) and there was no Air Conditioning. . I mean my shop was like a fucking furnace. We had moved all of our computer equipment to a barge (floating workplace) which had computers and AC. A typical workday for me was to..
-Show up at like 6:15 for the 6:30 divisional meeting
-Go out and clean or at least look like it from 0730 to 0830
- From about 0900 to about 1200 I would sleep in my hot ass shop and listen to jazz music. I mean it was the kind of heat that you'd be sitting still and just feel the sweat forming on you. But I did get some good ass sleep in there though.
-After my daily nap, from about 12 till we got off at 1400 I would go over to the barge and get on the computers and do "training" which mostly involved ebay, getting my hypebeast on on different fashion forums, and of course MTO. But didn't the internet have something more to offer me?


Lina said...

Wow...its been a year for you...Im glad you've decided to start writing because your stories are off the chain.
*raises glass* Here's to another year.

Jaded said...

Happy one year anniversary…your exploits are by far some of the funniest out there and you make me wonder why I wasted my early 20’s away…Good shit my boy, good shit.

PhlyyGirl said...

Cheers to another year!!!
You make work go by sooooo quickly...and you give me a bench mark. (not neccessarily something to aspire to, but something I can look at and say "Well, at least...") LOL!!!
Hope you have another great one!

Video Vix[o]n said...

dre made a year? seems like a lifetime for you...

Good, cause I really don't wanna walk that far, but here let me get your number and I'll call you tommorow... smh smooth...

here's to another year man. cheers.

Bow Chica Wah Wah said...

Happy one year! You're toooo much!

Taryn "Skinny Genes" B. said...

"uuhhhh what are you doing?"

Me: just making sure it's there...

"....there for what?"

Me: There for me to use!

"........On who?

Me: You?

"Nah I don't wanna do anything I just wanna go to sleep!"

^^^^totally hilarious

~SpiFFSter ~ {SFC} said...

This was the funniest shit EVER!!!
Yo... pulling the condom from under the pillow had me ROLLING!!!
How do you recover after that!!! LMAO!!! DAMN ANDRE! What happen SHUN???

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