facts on fiction

24 Years ago on this day you were born. I've known you since november 16 and we really took our relationship to the next level during spring break. We've gotten into fights about my metrosexuality and my 'down with the swirlness'; hell, were even supposed to be going to Barbados; I'm so glad you're gonna get your passport! I digress, today is a day all about you. I tell you to meet me at a massage parlor, not that kind silly! The kind were they put hot stones on you and pamper you ith deep tissue massages minus the happy ending (do girls even get happy endings?) There I go rambling again! Anyways I tell you to go there, and give your name to the receptionist. I don't know how it is gonna be but you'll get a great massage for 30 minutes while listening to new age music. After you're super relaxed, head to your nearest MAC store...what do you mean you don't know where it is? We've both got iPhones, Map it! You got it now? Good. Give them your name and tell them to 'go ham', just don't overdue it you feel me because I do plan to sex you something awful tonight. I know you don't drive a Ford truck, but tonight I'll be exploring you......Of course I wasn't serious girl you know I'm just joking...But for reals, you're gonna get it. So now you look how you feel right? Hair freshly blown out by the Dominicans cause you got it done the day before so you won't be sitting in the shop today, relaxed as fuck from the hot stone deep tissue massage, and MAC'd up. Wonderful! Meet me for dinner in East Atlanta. Yes, I mean the Mexican restaurant we went to on valentines day, were I stole the napkin to commemorate this occasion. I knew you be relaxed and look really hot from the pampering, but hot damn! You look like a plate of hot macadamia nut cookies! I know you think I'm fuckin with you when I say shit like that, but you look damn good. That Arden B dress is blessing your curves, your peep toe stilettos are showing of your pedicure, I know you only told them to paint your big toe and second toe but that'll be our secret.

We eat and laugh and I can tell your feeling that big ass patron margarita you had, that shit was strong as hell and you're getting another one? I hope you know I'm gonna do all that freaky shit to your drunk ass tonight! Yeah right..... I know whatever, and don't smile at me cause you and I know both you can't take it.... you're right we will see....

As we valet I see you tryna see the name of the hotel, it's not the W but it's very nice and wait till you see the view of the skyline. As we walk through the lobby I see the sideways stares, they see me leading you by the hand and you already know what time it is and what we're about to do. We get up to the room and I tell the expectant bellhop "A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."

I look at you as we enter the room. I spent some time in here, I did. You see the flowers on the bed and in the sink, you smell the Lacoste red I sprayed strategically in the room to give it "my smell" and you turn and kiss me. I kiss you back. I can taste the liquor on your breath and I know you don't wanna fuck around at all. I squeeze were I want and you try to backpedal to the bed.. Uh uh. I want to make you weak in the knees.

Wakey Wakey

I know you're probably gonna say you don't remember to much of last night, which I think you just say when you do something nasty to me. Anyways I always found it crazy how you would say you wake up when I'm not in the bed with you but upon waking up you should see I'm gone and in my place is a delicious breakfast of your faves. French Toast, hash browns with jalepenos and cheese, and cheese eggs. It's probably wouldn't be the food that kept your eye. The envelope with your name written in old english would set your interest on fire. I can see you grabbing it and reading the three lines on letter inside.

'happy birthday'

-143

Andre

You wanna fudge with me?!?

What do y'all think, super fudged up or creative and cool?

Oh yeah I went to new orleans and rallied with my BFFAE....I'll put up the pic tails laters.

Sometimes, I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion

I spent my spring break doing a whole lot of nothing, and this picture represents my spring break. Even though I've got like three or five papers to write, pictures to draw in my sketchbook and a few art gallery critiques to write up; They aren't due till like next month so I've got like a whole month to do them. even though me and 'lisa' are almost complete opposites and thinking of the ways we differ, there is like no reason we should be together at all because she...

- Can't come to terms with my metrosexuality.

After I lost that 'gucci mane body', My style got wilder, my shirts got smaller and my pants got tailored with a modern fit. I've always got manicures because in business and in life, one of the first things people look at are hands. But to her it's all gay and unbecoming of a man.

-Isn't down with the swirl

Well she really just isn't down with the fact that I'm down with the 'swirl'. I tell her I don't discriminate, and she says "Y'all (black men) just want anything not black!" When she found out about "elaine" (via facebook snooping) I almost caught myself defending why I was with her...

-Doesn't love music

She's content just to listen to the radio.

-Wants children

Like a lot of childless single girls around 23-25, they feel like some kind of countdown has started. When I tell certain girls I really "I don't see myself wanting/having children 'till at I'm least 30 or 27."

the response is always something like

"You're gonna be an old man when he grows up"

"You're gonna be chasing him around in a walker"

"That's too old"

*screwface*

but there's something about her so I guess we can agree to disagree...

Something about vintage american muscle seems like the best thing ever. It's an 88 Pontiac Firebird and even though I prefer mine coca cola brown with the bird on the hood, the red suits it just fine.

Spring Holiday

I would be lying if I didn't say that MTV played an integral role for me wanting to go to college. I used to watch say what karaoke, and jerry springer on the beach, girls with their breasts all out and alcohol and more girls..Awww man... Then, just when I though it couldn't get any better,MTV invented the triple kiss.

My spring break will mostly be spent relaxing with 'lisa' the same girl I work with, I've been teaching her the guitar and she's getting it kinda... I plan on cooking some of my famous coriander chicken dish and some other indian food dishes... Other than that I'll just use this break to reassess and enjoy some of this wonderful Georgia spring air in the great indoors.

What'll y'all be doing?

Of course I know Kanye

Supposedly this white gentleman knows kanye west (like DJ knows skinny black) and leaked one of kanye's songs on the internet. Besides the foolishness, the song is a really cool concept. It's hella rough but I see where he was going with it and I like it a lot.

Give it a spin/download

Too much sex?

I've got five words for all this sex addict talk, GTFOH.

I mean when I think about some of the things I've put up with to 'get it' (late night drives, staying up hella late when I know I've gotta be at work, trying to get that 'last minute lovin' and having to rush to work, choosing 'jumping up and down' over chilling with my bros) Hell my homeboy called me out the other day, talking about how "I'd rather chill with the females cause I'm a hoes over bros type dude." Even my good friend Bap says 'that shit is gonna be the death of me'

So with all that said, I'd think to myself...

"Damn, maybe I am addicted to that stuff, It's something I could do everyday and I don't see myself wanting to stop, plus there's so many women out there and each time is like a snowflake."

But then I just shake those crazy thoughts away and say, "it's natural and yeah I like it but I don't let it affect my daily life, and I'm not paying for it or anything crazy like that." I can see how it can be addictive though, but as long as you're being safe then it's all good right?

The new tramp stamp?

While my homegirl's tattoo isn't a ridonkulous and this the above. I'm gonna go head and say that I believe 'behind the ear' tattoos are the new tramp stamp.' Not in the fact that they share the same connotation but in the fact that some girls will just flock to 'tramp stamps', 'thigh panthers', 'stars' and 'chinese lettering'.

What do y'all think?

I think unless you live a really, really, really, carefree lifestyle or you can retire by the time your tattoo heals/do tattoos yourself as a profession, it's not a good look...