party everyday, live forever?

"If you spent as much time and focus in school as you did these girls and other shit you'd be done by now!"

-Nadia

But to tell the truth that's like the majority of my life... I kind of feel weirded out when on the rare occasions I'm on facebook because I see these chicks in their kente grad robes smiling like they're happy to be alive and holding up their bachelor of interior decorating/ psychology/ sociology/marketing/public relations/human resources degrees, and I feel like since I just recently got my associates , I'm behind the curve and shit. But fuck it, I mean I'm not in any race with anybody, we just chose different paths.

I got a letter that made me do some soul searching... well not really soul searching but just questions I'd have to ask myself, and it like left me flustered after I read it. It really was about being reminded of watching what you do, cause this world ain't that big.

''.....don't run through tons of girls

trying to do everything you can

before you turn 25.''

Sometimes people can really shoot arrows and hit the mark. I showed my homegirl and she was all about it for real. But even when I was very close to actually getting a 'party everyday, live forever' tattoo, 'this was feb' 2008 in jacksonville and I was in the shop ready to go'

I know you can't be trying snatch em if you're over a certain age, because dudes like that end of as dudes in the club looking like chaperons and shit in their suede kangol hats and matching velvets suits on, with white k swiss' on. That can't be me. and contrary to what my tattoo would've said, you can't party forever. But at the same time, I'm in no hurry to get married and waiting in the mean time would suck. I've said before marriage is like a ball and chain and I think that at my age there's no way I could find "that one television program to watch all my life"

Is that selfish?

This douchebag I knew from when I was just outta high school, rolls up to kick it and smoke in his scrubs and brags how he's a orderly...

Me: So you're a orderly?

Yeah

Me: Like the fat boys in that movie?

and him and his fiance are doing this, and that and he can't wait to be married and have his kid, how it's the best thing that ever happened to him, yada yada yada I told him cool, but I like to think that he was full of shit. Among that he was just talking to hear himself speak, but he asked me where did I see myself at age 40 and I was like...

'Living in Barbados or maybe Cost Rica... retired, working on my novel that I've been working on for years, running errands around the island in a german car, eating good and just tending to my garden where I'm growing herbs and potent marijuana and...

Alexis: You're not gonna be married or have any kids?!?!

Me: *kanye shrug*

The way it is

"Listen up people don't stand to near I've got something that you all should hear, holy matrimony's not for me, rather die alone in misery"
Everytime I talk to my dog about girls and meeting new chicks I always feel like I'm defending my actions... I mean I believe that at 22 years of age, marriage is like a ball and chain, but companionship is hella cool or whatever right? So how the hell are you gonna find it unless you mingle and hang out with and assortment of different girls. So I try and tell my boy that and he's not tryna hear it, but this dude is married with a beautiful daughter, who I'm kinda like the Co-godfather and another child on the way. So I tell him his opinion is irrelevent, cause he's out of the game and doesn't know what's goin' on in the streets. Plus at one time he was just like me and right there with me tryna quench his lurst, but I guess he matured on my immature ass huh? But me I'm in these streets so to speak.
I know that the average girl wants to have fun, doesn't want to get married and doesn't want to be seen as a slut, she just wants a good looking, drama free, intelligent man, who's got something going for himself, or at least appears to have something going for himself. I'm all that I like to think, So knowing that I feel like there's not much he can tell me... so we argue back and forth about it being fucked up that I go out with girls and have no intention of really settling down, you don't respect yourself and you look for girls who don't respect themselves either... but I tell him he's so got me fucked up... it's called COURTING and when a guy and a girl have a physical attraction to each other... things happen so you can't say I have no morals and neither does she. Plus how can you know who you are meant to be with if you don't actively search... I mean you could wait on fate to bring you together. But I think that lurst will get to you before fate does! Like I always say Lurst is a bitch, and she's real persistent and can make you do some wild shit! But that's just what's goin on with me right about now... and now I have to help paint his living room "Dorito nacho cheese brown", his house is actually very nice but I think his fireplace is in the wrong place and he needs to adjust the focal point, but what do I know?