20100528

Like Pulling Teeth pt 2

You come back with a Garfield band aid on your finger and I ask you what happened and you tell me...

"Let's go outside"

My heart is racing in my stomach and a million questions are flying through my head.
"You don't want to go through with it?!" is the first thing I think, because a change of heart right now would be completely understood, followed by "Was there any complications?"
Instead of lambasting you with questions, I just wait to see what you have to say.

I listen as you tell me that you need a few things from the car because once they call you again, you'll be back there for two hours and won't be able to come back. They showed you a picture and you said it looked like a comma. I started to ask you what you wanted when you'd get out but I know you and I know that a grape fanta and cupcakes will do you just right. After getting buzzed back in we sit and I tell you that I feel like 'In elementary school when your teacher would call home and leave that message telling your mom/dad you were suspended for _____, and your mom had already picked you up and there was that window of time with that uneasy feeling before she found out.' That's how I felt now.
You scoff because you say I'm too dramatic, but I scoff right back to myself because I'm surprised because of how calm you appear, but I know that it's you 'telling silly jokes as you walk through a graveyard' because I don't think the brevity of this has hit you yet. I mean you've researched it, your friend told you about it and we've talked in length about it. But I still don't think you know....

They call your name and although I wish I could go back there with you, I can't. I have to find something to do with two hours before I can pick you up. Before I get in my car to head out I think to myself... "this is what I gave up Costa Rica for...This?" (once I got over the sadness of bot being somewhere tropical, I went to work to find a new vacation and that place was either the Dominican Republic or Costa Rica. Both relatively easy places to get to from Atlanta and with the hotel deal I found, awww shit. But when I told you about it you weren't as nearly enthralled with it as I was and when you told me "It's says it's gonna rain all week in Costa Rica. I don't wanna go somewhere rainy." I was heated because I'm like, you've only been to Chicago and Panama City and you're now scoffing at a fucking trip to Costa Rica! I knew that I'd have to forsake yet another trip and handle our situation headon.)

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