Wash my hands for what?

In preparation for my truimphant return to the club to begin taping for "Fly With D" the first reality show with no cameras, following one man in his search for love in the club, highlighting the ups and the downs and the lurst! From the club parking lot to the bedroom.

One of the things I can't wait for is the awkward interaction with the "washroom attendant". Me personally I feel like I'm not gonna pay you money that could be better spent on getting winehoused, or after club munchies (7-11,bojangles or waffle house) for turning on my water.
I'm not gonna pay exorbitant prices on shit like blow pops or gum or pay you to rub that fragrant oil on my clothes, or for sprays of deodorant! (I've actually seen people using the deodorant and getting "smells just like..." oils applied to them) For one I'm damn sure not gonna be in the club with moist underarms, and that oil shit, fuck outta here! and the last thing I wanna do is have a conversation, however short with anybody in the bathroom!

I hate that they have the nerve to stand in front of shit like the hand dryer, the soap dispenser or the paper towel dispenser too, like it's some kind of bathroom monopoly and if you wanna use shit, you gotta get it from him. Even though I kinda feel assholeish about using and not tipping, I just say thank you and peace the hell outta there.

I hate the ones who try and interact with me too... I plan on coming in here many times to get this liquor outta my body and I really just wanna get in and get out. Not answer your engaging questions.

"Mane, there's some hoes out there ain't it dog!
*subtly turns on water and starts dispensing towels*

Me: They out there....(why the fuck do you think I'm here!)
*shakes off and zips up and considers not washing hands to avoid further conversation*

*avoids eye contact and runs out of bathroom hands unwashed to continue debauch*