Nights like this i wish...

Idle hands really are the devils playthings...it's nights like this when the lurst bubbles in my heart. I mean sometimes I'll step outside and feel the crisp but not too cold summer / fall night air and I look at the sky and it'll just feel like a night for jumping up and down. I mean I can't think of the word right now (if you know the word a winner is you, and it's crazy I know the definition but not the word; certain smells evoking memories) but it's when you might smell pine trees and think about the Talkboy you got for christmas when you were 8. Anyways I look at the moon and just think of all the debauch I've done on nights like this; on the hood of my car, drinking a arizona green tea and saluting a nearby flag all unbeknownst to her, in a church parking lot, behind driving ranges, in the macarthur mall garage after a lloyd banks concert, on front porches. I wish I could txt each one of them "thnks 4 the mmrys" because every night like this, I'm assaulted by memories like those.

The tentative plan for saturday was to pick up chick from the wack ass house party and her friend. Take them back to lloyd's crib. I'd bounce with my chick in "my room" and lloyd would bring his girl in and we could swap it out. But it didn't work like that at all. First off the friend changed her mind to go to her friends sons birthday party. So it's just me and nita in her mom's house. So after chillin for a hot minute listening to her talk about how boring it is around here and how she's hungry but only has three dollars, and how when her friend comes through and buys some furniture she'll have $400... We go upstairs to jump up and down twice. So after that, I'm ready to do what any man would wanna do, play call of duty 4 or rainbow six vegas 2! So we're sitting downstairs and her friend comes over with a gang of her kids and drops of her lil' baby and her clothes for the club later that night (she stays in Bad News, Va the 'jects for reals). So it's me her and some random baby with J's on it's feet. I hate seeing that shit, I remember when I had that baby fiasco, that lying ass girl was like

"Look, I bought him some J's, he's fresh right, I wanna get him the red ones that are coming out too"

In my mind I was like, you're 18, you stay with your parents, you're still in high school, you and your family is trying to pressure me to sign the birth certificate, you've already got a two year old child and you're worried about buying some fucking shoes that he'll outgrow hella quick! Fuck are your priorities!
There's nothing at all wrong with buying nice things for your child, but if you don't have it, is it really worth keeping up appearances?

Anyways, this baby is sitting there with her and I'm like...

"I'm gonna smash out"

Her: where you going?!?

"I'm gonna go home and geek out for a little bit

Her: geek out?

Yeah, just play xbox and shit

Her: So you only came over here for one thing huh? Okay I see how it is...just like a nigga..

Whatever! You said you wanted to chill and we chilled plus you've got a baby I don't even like babies like that!

Her: bye dre.*with finality!*

Paiz

Sunday I kicked it with lloyd before Rafi invited me over to watch football. (I could give a fuck less about the sport, or sports for that matter) but I went and enjoyed the merriment of his household and his motorcycle gang compadres and their gals...

The King of Silence

For reals this week has already shaped up quite terribly... and if something happens later on down the line, I will look at the 23rd of september and rue that day!

-Slush fund...running low...1st of the month, $250 awaits me WTF?

-Because I'm feeling vulnerable, I asked some of the girls I've been talking to scary questions and got back some scary answers...some questions remained unasked because the answer is written all over their face, and of course some ?'s are better left unsaid.

-That accident with that fuckboy from maryland, raised my damn insurance rates. The chick who was in the car had the nerve to get out after I hit him and was like
"you should slap his ass"
I'm not a fighting' type dude, but I've been hitting the gym. Plus we were on the strip (Va Beach main strip) at about 10:30. I would've worked his slouch sock with the b-boots,bubble vest wearing, Go-Go music listening ass in front of everybody.

-On that gym note, I've lost 23 pounds! I felt it, but didn't really notice it until all my jeans and uniforms were hella loose, and people at work were askin me if I was on crack! I feel good though, I haven't been this in shape since ashley / jacksonville.
My secret is a super unhealthy diet of fasting, drinking shit tons of water and eating tortillas and salsa. But the downside of that is I've always got that "Mccain-itis", I work my arms and shoulders so much and don't scretch I can barely raise my arms to my face or above my head. The upside of that is that the next chick I jump up and down with I'm gonna short-short long the shit outta her!

-Speaking of jumping up and down , I set me and lloyd up for friday, with the girl I met at last weeks wack ass house party and her best friend. With gas around here like $105 a barrel, I'm glad she's all about some Dre and coming through. It sucks she leaves on the 30th cause she's cool, keeps it real and she's got those bratz DSL's and a body like a shotgun *bang bang y'all*

-Speaking of body like a shotgun, I talked to my light skinned ace for a hot minute and he asked about JP, I told him wha gwan and he was like...

"She's gonna let you keep going out with her and when you try to see whats up with it, she's gonna be like y'all are just friends or just play you to the left. Leave it alone!"

Is it good advice? I don't know..but even though I don't think she'll do me like that, I'm no bologna sandwich either and I just stay woke.

- "It's true that you can't turn a hoe into a house wife, Well listen shorty maybe I don't want a house wife.
They say that you a freak I'm thinking that they bout right, cause that pussy's so good and your mouth tight"

That song describes this girl Tundra, a certified toss up I'm considering talking to perfectly. Lloyd advised me...

"She's a smut and If you kiss her you kissing my dick blah blah blah, you better not take her out etc. You better hit in a week or you flawed."

I feel like I get down too. I mean I'm a single guy. I do what I please and I wouldn't want some chick throwing that shit in my face (even though girls secretly like that). To me that whole past shit is just that... I'm 22 gonna be 23 in november, I been outta high school for a minute, I could give two shits about that bullshit. Now if I'm tryna marry the girl it would fuck with me a bit in certain situations, but it wouldn't change how I saw her if I was really feeling / loved her. I don't wanna get married but this girl Tundra is beautiful and from central america or so she says, so I'll see what happens with that. Who knows, maybe instead of a good girl who does freaky things that wants to play fuckity fuck fuck games, a scraight freak is what I need...

Am I a sucka ass dude for that? I mean fuck it lets get vulnerable right?

A lil 2L;2R but Enjoy your weekend and the debate!

Wash my hands for what?

In preparation for my truimphant return to the club to begin taping for "Fly With D" the first reality show with no cameras, following one man in his search for love in the club, highlighting the ups and the downs and the lurst! From the club parking lot to the bedroom.

One of the things I can't wait for is the awkward interaction with the "washroom attendant". Me personally I feel like I'm not gonna pay you money that could be better spent on getting winehoused, or after club munchies (7-11,bojangles or waffle house) for turning on my water.
I'm not gonna pay exorbitant prices on shit like blow pops or gum or pay you to rub that fragrant oil on my clothes, or for sprays of deodorant! (I've actually seen people using the deodorant and getting "smells just like..." oils applied to them) For one I'm damn sure not gonna be in the club with moist underarms, and that oil shit, fuck outta here! and the last thing I wanna do is have a conversation, however short with anybody in the bathroom!

I hate that they have the nerve to stand in front of shit like the hand dryer, the soap dispenser or the paper towel dispenser too, like it's some kind of bathroom monopoly and if you wanna use shit, you gotta get it from him. Even though I kinda feel assholeish about using and not tipping, I just say thank you and peace the hell outta there.

I hate the ones who try and interact with me too... I plan on coming in here many times to get this liquor outta my body and I really just wanna get in and get out. Not answer your engaging questions.

"Mane, there's some hoes out there ain't it dog!
*subtly turns on water and starts dispensing towels*

Me: They out there....(why the fuck do you think I'm here!)
*shakes off and zips up and considers not washing hands to avoid further conversation*

*avoids eye contact and runs out of bathroom hands unwashed to continue debauch*

Excuse Me

I used to love the cutting nihilistic humor of this show...I was but a gentle impressionable teen dying to find my identity and something I could relate to.
This show gave me that.
Her sarcasm was so biting and unemotional, and she just seemed above the people around her.

I loved how they'd always play the hottest songs of the moment right before the commercial break and at the end of the show they'd do alter egos of the characters and shit...

Fashion Club...



I still to this day model most of my dry wit and humor after the show... for example my conversation with a very pretty light skin girl exchanging condensed life stories.


Very pretty light skinned girl: So you lived in england, how comes you don't speak english?

Me: ......You mean like what I'm speaking now...

VPLSG: *smiles the smile that puts the fannies in the seats* shut up, you know what I mean...

Me:.......

I wanted to find a girl just like Daria (a lil hotter though) in high school. I kinda did in Jen Bear... but she's a BFF so does that count?

Saving my soul pt.2

I started the quest for redmemption. I went to the humane society and helped out and I have to say.... I feel the same.

First off the day was pretty shitty, rainy and grey. So I got there and the chick was like...

"do you need a sars mask?"

Me: *silly woman* Nah, I'm a man...

I walked in the kennel and I was just like zaaammn! I mean I'm a dog owner and I've smelled shit and other doggy smells, but the smell of like 20+ dogs in a enclosed space is like a rotten big bacon classic!

But after cleaning the first couple of cages I was still a lil' freaked out by all the shit and stuff.

The cats kinda fucked me up too, I mean they didn't smell bad in comparison to the dogs but every one was so keut. I mean I never really was that big of a cat person but I've met some cool cats in my life (frankenstien,hobbes,kellog)and I have a special spot for them. I wanted to play with them but you couldn't cause of the risk of spreading a fatal eye infection.

So onto dog walking I was assigned and here were the luck ones I got....

This was the first dog I walked, it was hella sad because I guess he was so abused or whatever that he was super scary. I mean I'd go to pat his head and he'd brace himself for a punch or rollover expecting a kick!

This muthafucka was just happy to be out and run around...also kinda scary but we did run and plaaaay. He was mangy but still swheat.
This dog had the attitude of a hooker. He was so indifferent to me, I really felt like a john walking him. But he was pretty cool and laid back.
This mufucka here Carson... I loved this fuckin dog! His back was what had me, he was built like a fuckin tank! Stout, fast and single minded. He reminded me of Ashley's pit bull. I locked us in a little league baseball field and unleashed him. I let him chase me and I juked the shit outta his ass. But it's crazy how he could be playin' but nipping the shit outta me. His hops were crazy too, he would jump up and bite my nipple!
The picture does this big ass dog no justice. He had a cage all the way at the end, and as I got him out I thought of Green Mile as he walked down the rows of cages. But this mufucka was so laid back and chill, like he was high or something. He just enjoyed the walk like he was on death row!

My name is andre and I approve this post

I was sittin down enjoying the delicious subs and other treats to eat, when this white guy comes up and is smiling a winning smile and is like...my name is Scott Taylor... Ok. He then tells me he's running for mayor of Va Beach,and "he drinks beer just like me"

All in all the show was hella chill. Afterwards I went to a house party my boy Rafi told me about. Now when I think house party, I remember darkened basements, or houses, dick harder than termite teeth "dancing" on chicks and getting cheap feels, loud music and weed. I walk in this one and none of that is there..these mufuckas had music coming out of a little cheap ass portable cd player. But Rafi did have some chicks come over there, and after one of em got smutted out, she tried to come over to my boy for a hug and he told her
you're still here?!?! peace out and pardon his back
she called herself gettin mad and was like...
"fuck you, your dick is small and your toungue is wack! Your man got a bigger dick than you anyway!"

Priceless...

But I did come up on her friend and I got in a car accident too!



*deep inhale* He even smelled mayorish!



Yeah the chick is supposedly doin rails.

SUPERFERTILE

SUPERFERTILE = Kali Arulpragasam, an accomplished jewelery designer out of london.

If I ever sell a beat for a couple stacks I'm definitely gonna get a senegalese or bajan necklace made with something hell sick on it!

check her out it's pretty nasty!

Give 'till it hurts!

How far is too far to go for a relationship? Whether it be a romantic relationship or just a friendship.

Luther says "Never too much, Never too much"

Andre says

"I don't know about all that, but I do think it should be like 50/50 or even 60/35 you know keep it 100;it keeps the thrill of the hunt in the courting process ...but any more than that...is that just taking the piss?

How late am I?

I hate getting up on stuff late..but I'm just too stubborn and don't want to be a bandwagon ass dude...Or invest my precious time in new artists... I mean I feel like...

are people only listening to it cause the buzz surrounding them or is the music actually good?

mufuckas don't want to be "mainstream," but come off that shit...They're gonna play you're shit out 'till mufucka don't wanna hear it no more (ask Teddy Pain) That's why you gotta play the game and dance for the man and make new shit. and with that formula, most of the music today makes me wanna turn off the radio(whoop rico anyone?), so rebuking whoever is popular this week makes me cool. right?

With music I find so much old shit I couldn't appreciate or wasn't open to then, that I fuck with super tough now like...

Arular (M.i.A is off the chain.. I don't wanna listen to her new shit for fear it's a letdown) ,

Soul Food(I loved cell therapy, 'Kast shut down ATL in 96-97 and I fucked with them instead), MF Doom (that dude is stupid, from the way he flips his samples to the shit he says...jumpin jahosaphat!) Rush, The Cure, Bo$$ in Drama, Gangstarr, Tears for Fears, Quincy Jones, Lonnie Liston, Tenacious D... I could go on and on. So why the fuck do I wanna hear the next such and such?

But the downside to that is that I do miss out on some mufuckas worth listenin too from that fear of change or unwillingness to feel like I'm a trendy tarrantino... like

Lupe *ducks* My nig J was into him real heavy and when we'd ride he'd bump that Mike Love mixtape and I just didn't wanna hear dude at all, But hearing switch made me curious about him...

Kanye- I didn't like Jesus walks, diamonds, touch the sky, overnight celebrity(except the beat, it was pretty sick) at all. So off the strength of that I didn't like kanye. I didn't fuck with him 'till someone put Graduation on my iPod, then it was Late Regristration, now I'm all about the dude!

The Dream- Everybody I knew was tellin me this dude was "that dude" Girls I knew, dudes I knew errrbody! But I didn't like "shawty is a 10". Plus I was on Frank and back to black at the time heavy... I was in the club when I heard I luv yo girl it was a reynolds....

Amy Winehouse - I didn't really sleep on her, I was just ignorant to the current popular music, so I was in target buying a guitar for Guitar hero with jen bear and she was like...

"you should get her album * back to black*

me: who the fuck is this?

"you know....she sings rehab"

Me:*blank stare*

*jen starts singing chorus*

Me:*blank stare*

Sure enough I bought it and I've been a fanatic ever since...

This came about cause my homegirl is all about Gym Class Heroes and she was like you know they're comin to town right? All excited and shit... So I wanna go cause the roots are gonna be there but I don't wanna just be out of the vibe for GCH. So I listen to the Papercut Chronicles she gave me and to my first impression of these dudes is...

"You know how you might have a hot rhyme/idea/picture/joke/anything that you wanna write down before you forget it? Well it seems like these dudes listened to Pharrezzy and N.E.R.D. and hit the studio with that mindframe. I mean they're like Nerd minus the falsetto's. Average rhymin cat with a nice band / DJ work.


For the GCH heads should I listen to this since I'm a GCH virgin? or just steal her "the quilt"?



Help me y'all cause right now I've got 4 words for GCH.

Even though I tell half truths....

Rules:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back


2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.


3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Honest Weblog’


4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).


5. And then we pass it on!

Courtesy of Lina, when I finally weened myself off of "next blog searching" I wanted to read people who were talkin about shit I could relate to... gettin' winehoused, quenching lurst and dealing with the opposite sex's bullshit...and she was mos def kicking shit that had me sayin' "okay".

I wonder if her and her prom date still talk though, he seems like a nice enough fellow....lol

Arych my bro who just had his baby! *yay* so congratulations to him and his family on their newest addition! Let's hope she's like her big sis and gets her looks from momsy! Maybe she will be cooler than their cat but somehow I doubt it...that cat is just beast and stole my attention from their daughter! LOL


Zay the great- a new (to me) cat who's on some real shit I can relate too for reals... Dealing's with these women, dude's without the clothes being swagless, and reading minds...


Just Brad- I first came across this cat on his eurotrip, and I was just like this dude is doing exactly what I wanna do..he's back in MMPLS and havin' way more fun.. or so it seems. Dude's real nasty on the "peter parker" and makes me wanna throw out my piece of shit sony and get a proper camera...plus child predator glasses = hip as shit!


Kandi Black - porn star, self proclaimed body rocker and all up in the Tenn. drankin like a drunkard! But I first came across her goin through that same old BS and I was like damn I never saw shit like that you know.. From blazin with her cuz to dreamin about clickin the mouse... I flucks with it.


Skinny ass Genes - Graf is what caught my eye...well nah I'm lying.. she used to have these crazy ass leggin's as a header and it was pretty swheat... she dates/ is engaged to a "navy seal" and flips out on dudes for wettin her up at the pool and makes amy winehouse tributes!

Now lets get honest and vulnerable....


- A lot of times during sex my mind will be a million miles away thinking about things like...


"what if T.I. sold light bulbs in the trap?"

or



"how cool it would be to drive and shoot out the window grand theft style."





"I wish that there was a mirror so I could do the patrick bateman point
*does the patrick bateman point mid coitus*





- Speaking of sex, I like the idea of getting a blow j. more than the act itself, I could take it or leave it honestly. Probably because most girls I mess with see it ass like a prerequisite, a chore to be done for the reward... that's why with a lot of girls I'll fake it...
*ahhh, ooowww, damn girl, or sweet sassa massa*
because who doesn't like motivation?
So unless the girl is just a pro or just naturally has giveheaditis then I'll just have a stupid look on my face while my toes curl up like cheez puffs...



- I've said before I wish I could tell girls to cut the bullshit, if you like me then let me know... but me my damn self is scared to just tell a girl scraight up how I feel , and it just leads to very awkward situations especially with people I have to see at work. But since I wanna get vulnerable before my triumphant return to the college girls and skip skop skallywops at the club, I'm gonna see where I stand.



-Girls will fake a nut for a relationship, guys will fake a relationship for a nut... Very true, I used to be all about telling girls what they wanna hear... To this day puerto rican chick still thinks I got out the navy and I'm boomin' sellin drugs cause she asked what I did and I said "get money..."


- "ill be there in 5 minutes, 5 hours later I be there in 5 minutes..."
I hate hate hate to wait on people but me myself always want people to chillax when I'm late for something...
"ill be late for that..."
on that note I wait till the last minute to do everything, and make up these crazy ass schedules that are so unrealistic, that I always end up running late as fuck.

More vulnerability to come...

R.I.P. Jeremiah 2006-2008

Group think is a mufucka! When my homies J, Bivins, Walk and Murph all came up with alias' to give to these girls. Shit, it was only right for me to come up with one too. The ideology behind the fake name was that...
If you're out with your "outside" chantel like in the mall and your main chick kim spotted you with this other girl (because we all had it like that of course LOL) kim might be like...

"Andre....is that.. What the fuck is going on andre who is this BITCH?!?"

And chantel would be all like

"Dana (yes Dana was my first attempt at a fake name but it was just so unbelievable I switched it up to Jeremiah) so this is your other bitch, you better put a leash on that bitch for I get her"

And I'd be like

Me: Hold up, hold up, hold up, girl you got the wrong mufucka, I don't know who this andre is but I aint him! I don't know no muthafuckin andre! Lets get outta here chantel! This crazy hooker isn't even worth it!

Kim: Annnnndreeeeeeee!!! Whyyyyyy!
And of course I've since seen the many many many flaws in that "plan" and the probability of that happening like that..........yeah.




-A fake name woulda stopped that girl and joey greco in their tracks!!!

So we all had these fake names giving them out to girls, and yeah it did suck having to safeguard my id's and other stuff but the excitement of the lie was like a rush.

But there was one girl who caused me to put a bullet in the head of jeremiah, Lets call her mystique cause I can't remember her name. After she came through that one time (which was crazy cause Jaguar Paw came back with my roommate while chick was sitting in the couch) we would talk and phone bone a lot..I mean alot.

So everything is set for me to come over there and spend the weekend at her place and show her what I'm stroking like for the first time. If any of y'all have sidekick lx's, then you know that if you charge it all night and you use it heavy all day, you might end up at nighttime with a dead battery. So that's what's happened with me, so I called her from lloyd's phone and was like..

Mystique: hello?

What's up it's andre!

Her: who?

Andre! What you doin?

Her: uhhh.....

Her: *click*

Then as soon as I hung up, I realized the fatal flaw...she doesn't know andre, she knows Jeremiah!
So I'm like fuck and tryna brainstorm with lloyd ways to rectify what just happened

"tell her andre is your last name!"

Jeremiah Andre...that's just stupid!

So I called her back and told her andre was my first name and jeremiah was my middle name I went by... she laughed said I was "fucking unbelievable and told me to lose her number!"

He didn't just fuck up the pussy, he fucked up new pussy with a girl who had a child and actually had goals and ambition aboput herself!

After that, I had to kill him!


and glossing over a pretty mundane tweekend.

-ate lunch at puerto rican chicks restaurant, didn't stay for dessert so now "I owe her one." Apparently she lost the baby in st.louis...I'm kinda glad in a way, but for my own selfish reasons i'm not.

-woke up saturday morning to two late night tip txts. One from entourage and another from a young myspace thundercat not worth blogging about...

- posted my Feelgood's on ebay, so if you or someone like you wears a size 12...

- I beat metal gear solid 4 in 17 hours! Who's the big loser winner? Me, thats who!

I think, therefore eye fuck

Sitting under a patio chair umbrella in the scorching sun of oconee, tennessee with Jen Bear and Joel waiting for the rafting trip to start, we sit sunglasses-less because apparently people have lost their shades from the intense rapids and they aren't recommended to be worn without these gay ass rubber straps. I damn sure didn't wanna lose my prada's to the river so we all begrudgingly left them in the car. The car is like a 3 minute walk away under a fucking heating lamp. So after sitting there for about 5 minutes, with various people begging to be criticized Jen Bear said to me...

It's really hard to people watch without sunglasses on.

Me : I know right! I'm tryna look at people and move my eyes with out moving my head, but I know I look obvious as fuck

Fuck it, I'm gonna go get my shades you want yours?

Me : yes. yes I do.

I love people watching! Sometimes if I'm out and about like sitting down in mall food courts or waiting for something, I'll just start assesing and dismissing people and wishing I had a camera to catch them looking a fool! It's especially when fun when I'm with witty company. In the club, I don't wanna just eyefuck the shit outta girls and be all obvious. I'd rather do it super smooth!
I just I might have to barter or sell my Dolce's cause all this time I thought my eye's weren't visible, but now I see that people can see me watching, judging and scrutinizing them and I don't like it! Not one bit.

If only the right kind of blueblockers weren't so hard to find... I could of course buy them from the website, but where's the fun in that. I'd rather stop at random CVS'/Walgreens/riteaids/eckerds check the sunglasses out and laugh with delight as I purchase my new people watcher.

Feeling suicidal

I found out I'll be getting a a donut this 15th.

I'm going to commit social suicide/homicide this weekend.


-No txting
-No phone calls
-No jumping up and down




Just geeking out...and of course blogging

You can rely on your old man's $$$

I was watching tv with the girl I've had a crush on for the longest (and who's waiting room I'm currently sitting in) introducing her to the blogiverse and the tv is on mtv. I rarely watch tv and I damn sure don't watch mtv. But this show called exiled is on, apparently spoiled rich white kids from my sweet 16
get a change from their spoiled lifestyle and get their world turned upside down. So I see these parents talking to their daughter basically saying
"we're tired of you not having a job, bitch super 16 was four years ago blah blah blah...." Then they zoom in on the father saying...You're going to Africa!
*dun dun dun*
*cut to daughters shocked face*
"Where will I pee?"

What really grinded my gears was that they edited the shit with effects and sounds so it like the mufucka was actually saying

"You're going to HELL!!!"

I think these mtv corporate cocksuckers were sitting around and some company man said

"Picture this...Wildboyz meets My Super Sweet 16! minus the dangerous stunts"

They use the poorest countries for these vapid whores backdrop, for them to learn the value of a fucking dollar. Bitch you're the same mark ass bitch that had Ciara at your $200,000 party and threw a fit cause you rolled up in a acura!

Am I over reacting? Or is that really some bullshit?



On a heavier note, can you believe it's really been seven years?
Where were y'all when it happened?

I was in US History and somebody came in saying a helicopter hit the pentagon or some shit and nobody knew what was going on... I was torn apart and distraught until I turned to MTV and they were like "We got ja rule on the phone.. lets see what his Ja's thoughts are on this tragic event"
who gives a fuck what ja rule thinks, i dont wanna dance im scared to death!

Rejected!!!

Rejection. It happens, and when it does it can be crushing, empowering and funny, and devastating all at the same time. I mean when I was younger rejection used to fuck my world up. The worst was in like school around 9th grade when a girl would be with her friend and be like...

"Aye boy, come here my friend wanna talk to you!"

and the friend would be like

"no the hell I don't!!!, gone boy unhh unn"

The friend could look like shit on a stick, but it's just the funniness overshadows her ugliness!
I can laugh now, but then.... aww man!

The only thing that to this day still grinds my gears though is that “shoo” hand motion that some girls like to do. When I see some girls do it I think to myself like “Damn, you can’t even verbally refuse the dude, you shoo him away like he’s an insect or a bologna sandwich!” but in some instances you know…yeah cause some niggas just don’t get it.

Anyways... We were sitting here talkin about rejection and shit and one cat who was laughing at our stories comes out his mouth and says
"I ain't never been rejected in my life so i wouldn't know about it."
*crickets*
*crickets*
Nobody is gonna buy that shit for a red cent! Any mufucka that says some shit like that is either two things...

1. A boldface liar


2. Or scared to holla


There's only one man in the world who can get universal play from all the ladies and everybody knows that it's Brad Pitt! But even with him, there's that %.2 that wouldn't fuck with the boy brad. So I know damn well this extra-ordinary, run off the mill ass nigga isn't getting all this play.. Fuck outta here!

My homeboy Baps creedo when it comes to hollering at girls is
no guts....no guts!
Which is damn true cause I don't think the average female knows how hard it is for some guys to cross those few feet or whatever and start a convo with a stranger . I say the rejection makes the victory even swheater. I feel like if one girl doesn’t wanna fluck with you, that’s exactly that ONE GIRL! You just bounce back and make sure you stunt extra hard on her with something more than or equal to…especially in the club or social situation.

Have y’all ever been rejected or am I the only one?

Black heart of gold!

I'm always saying this to girls in particular that I try and do good deeds to right some of the bad things I've done... and they'll say to me... "you crazy!" or something like that.. but I'm dead serious though! I mean I'm sometimes suprised that God continues to watch over me..I know I'm a good person but I just do things... Anyways it's a toss up whether I'll get my full pay this week. I looked at my statement and it's only $250. So those diamonds might have to wait.

I was sitting and thinking heavy and puerto rican chick called me to shoot the shit. We talked for a hot minute about her trip to puerto rico and my trip to barbados it felt good, it was almost like a high. I started to tell her how I was feeling down and shit and she was like you should come over here I can make you feel better....etc *dash of cold water*
I don't really want to tell her you know I'm not tryna fuck with you like that too much right now and I probably won't cause as much as I hate being in the waiting room myself, I'd rather keep her there, cause I've heard pregnant girls have that pure brita water filter juice! Plus I'm stuck in a girls waiting room my damn self. I gotta call Jen Bear and just talk to her cause I'm feeling down and my resistence is low and I know her cynical realism and vicious criticism will be like a slap in the face.

Anyways on the way home I passed by the humane society, and I thought since I love dogs and cats more than I do people, if anything could quiet my soul and put some good points on the board for me it's gotta be volunteer work or prayer. I've never been the praying type so volunteer work it is. I figure instead of wasting time and energy playing these fuckity fuck fuck games with these girls I minds well do some good. I filled out the application and talked to this chick there and I should hear something from them pretty soon.

There must be two sides!

I didn't get paid at all on the first! You know how it feels to look a your statement and see a "advance debt" deduction of $1600! It hurts to look at. I'm not flat broke by any means, I just hate having to "cut my coat to suit my cloth". Meaning things I would want to do or buy I can't because of a pay snafu.

But on the flip side, all is not lost, I will be caked up at approximately 12 am on the 12th.. With back pay and all that in effect.

Now it's no secret I'm a dating ass dude and domestic displacement is not at all conducive with serial dating, no way no how! Especially if the girl is 18-21 and still stays with her people or is in the navy living on a ship or barracks, she'd rather be anywhere but home. Even if funds were low but the kitchen was lookin robust, we could always try and get reservations for two at this progressive theme restaurant called "aprtment"

On the flip side, my dog Lloyd has opened his house to me, but the flip side to that is his house is a slaughterhouse! When I was domestically displaced before, I brought a girl over there and we were jumping up and down Lloyd knocks (I heard him trying the lock before) on the door talking about some "I need to get my shorts!" and as he walked out he said "Stop cuffin', it ain't no fun if the homies can't have none." So the girl was laying there 500 hot And all I was thinking is... "well...I'm still horny."
Assholeish yeah I know. But she deserves it for lying to me and being engaged to somebody on my ship who confronted me with violent intentions and tears in his eyes about her mark ass, so on second thought..fuck her anger! We should've tossed her up!

But the flip side to all of that is that I can use the money I save in rent and other shit to...

1. Save and pay myself
2. Pay off loans
3. Buy 1/3 carat Leo diamond® solitaire earring for my newly pierced ears.
4. Get a tattoo of a friendly Jesus and friendly devil on each shoulder one saying just do it and the other saying think about it!

But can I buy happiness, I'm depressed as fuck day to day, I'll say to myself..
"I wanna go somewhere"
Me: like where?
"Somewhere!"
Me: where?
"Nowhere....."

I'm mean is the extra money worth my happiness? I don't know but I'll find out.

Chatty Cathy

- I'll be right back y'all, my other table asked for take out cartons and I just plum forgot like 4 times!!!


- y'all know we've got like every game playing on tv right now, I love the redskins!

- what time is is y'all? ten a clock already *woot* I get out of here in a hour, well not get outta here I gotta wrap silverware, fill the salt and pepper. Did y'all know that pepper has to be on the right, because if a blind person came in they would expect the salt to be on the right!


Jaguar Paw's homegirl tells her that happy hour starts at 10 at fridays, even though my better judgement told me that no happy hour starts at 10pm, I went with JP anyways because I just enjoy her company. Anyways we go to Friday's and get seated and the most annoying waitress in the world serves us...

Lina said...

"otherwise I'd probably have a turrets moment and blurt out, "Shutthefuckup!!" and it would be all fast and shit, with a head spasm on the side."

I came close...so very close.