Don't fuck with the internet

Just by looking up Jessi Slaughter on Google, Anon found her Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace, leading to even more epic lulz. As Jessi is only eleven and a whore, she accepts all friend requests; even from accounts with ridiculous names, such as I.P. Freelyand Pedobear (SRSLY). Thus, anon managed to get her email address, followed by an actual street address.......very quickly the situation reached critical mass, going into full raid mode. Pizzas and UPS boxes were promptly ordered to her home and there were a number of requests for Craigslist whores in the area to be directed to the address.....

Shortly thereafter, the volume on this entire episode gets cranked up to eleven when two new videos appear in which the girl bawws hysterically while her dad and his awesome child-molester mustache go completely ape shit bonkers, screaming at the computer over the IRL and OL trolling they've just endured.

Jessi cries that "her life is ruined" and that she's "going through hell", while the father spits out instant classics such as "you dun goofed", and he's "backtraced [our] emails" and that the "cyberpolice are on their way" and when they find us "the consequences will never be the same."

Why would people do such a thing... Oh I know why!

Flipping the script huh?

I was about 22, and hanging really tough with a girl for a about 2 months and things just did like a 180 all of a sudden. I didn't know what to do because I didn't want to just stop messing around with her because she could be cool. So I decided to deal with her by using female tricks.

She noticed I was real friendly with a lot of other women, so she said something like,

"I notice you're friendly with a lot of females."

I said, "Of course. They're my friends."

"Your friends?"

"Yeah. I only have female friends because all my male friends were triflin."

Or I'd call her up and she'd answer and I'd say, "I'm bored." Just like women do to guys when they call us up at some random time of the day and expect me to stop everything to entertain her.

And if I didn't want sex I'd say, "I feel like all we ever do is fuck. You're just using me for sex, aren't you?" Or if she didn't answer her phone the next time I talked to her I'd say, "Why didn't you answer your phone? Probably with some other dude. I'm not just some herb you met on the street. I am an empowered black man.

Needless to say she was confused as fuck. We 'broke up' because of shit like that but I still laugh at some of the shit I pulled. Some of my buddies said I was acting like a dumbass, and yeah it was kind of petty but it felt good to add extra drama just so to get back at her. Women like to do this shit to men, so why can't men pull the same shit? Was I wrong for acting like that?

Anyways, fast forward to 2010 and who do I see walking in the sunglass hut I was in looking sexier than I remember her looking? The same girl. It's crazy to because last I saw her it was in virginia, and to see her down here in atlanta...

I told her it must be fate.

Don't do me like that

I remember when I was a young lad and between school and house parties there was getting fresh and going to the mall. We'd catch a ride from one of our moms, sometimes we had a ride back, sometimes we didnt. I'd go with my bros and holler at girls through my homeboys...

"aye girl in the pink shirt!!! My homeboy wants to talk to you".

Most of the time we'd go see a movie then post up at the arcade, shoot the shit and see who could pull the baddest chick. I remember we would do this like every time a new cool movie would come out. We went to see black and white cause it had meth and other dudes from the wu tang clan in it. Afterwards we came out and proceed to post up at the arcade, talk shit,and shoot at girls. All of a sudden I see this dude and his girl walking the gauntlet of young thunder cats posted up near the exit.

Now this dudes girl had a waist like a pencil and a ass like a water buffalo, the ass you look at and scrunch your face up and say "ummm" (keep in mind this is 2001 when it was taboo/rare to have a big ass like that). So they're walking together and all eyes are on dudes chick, when one of the young thunder cats walks behind the couple and slaps the girl on her ass...
*slap*
All of a sudden the girl whirls around and trys to hit the dude and is callin' the dude all sorts of names. But the "ass slapper" backs up into his homies and now all of them are cussin the girl out "Bitch this, bitch that...etc" all the while the chick with the fat ass' boyfriend is trying to hold her back and pull her to the doors saying "Let it go, fuck them niggas" or something like that to calm her down, cause she is like 38 hot about the shit. So after a quick second she kinda looks to her boy like.

"What the fuck, you're gonna let that ride?!?!"

The look on her boyfriends face was classic. So he gets her to the doors and she like shakes him off and storms out the second door as the gaggle of 'young punks' advances on them both calling the dude "scary as hell" and most of the bystanders are just saying like "heeeelll nah"/"if that was me..I woulda.." Even myself, I told my dogs "I woulda stole off on one of those mufuckas, nobody tries me like that"

I left the mall that night at 16 years old thinking that that chicks boyfriend was a scary ass dude/straight bitch and I myself would never let that slide...they woulda had to hold me the fuck back!!!

Now 8 years later I think back to that... As much as it hurts to swallow that pride, I don't know what I would've done in that situation. The way I see it there are only two choices...

A. You swing on dude who slapped her ass and race your girl to the car or try to get as many good hits in and remember to go to the fetal position as you get rushed from every angle, knocked to the ground, and stomped out like a brush fire. All the while your girl is crying and screaming "Leave him alone you're KILLING HIM!!!"

B. You let it go, refuse to stoop to thier level losing major cool/man points and probably the respect of your girlfriend (if not your girlfriend). Because you can't make her understand that they would've mollywhopped your ass and probably her ass too!

I remembered that because I saw "obsessed" with the "DJ chick" and in the mall out here, under 17 young punks can't be in the mall past like 4pm cause of a curfew. Besides beyonce hamming it up on screen, her kicking him out of HIS house and that big ass little boy who they carried around and wouldn't let him walk...it was a decent movie even though it could've been a straight to DVD.