Lursty and Lurstier: How lloyd met andre pt.1

I thought all there was in maine was... -people who said "baaa","caaa" and "bia" instead of bar,car and beer.
-Lobster

- white people.


I was partly right. Anyways we went there for Lobsterfest 06 in rockland, maine. A real small town and it was pretty crazy. Just showing up in the uniform got free lobsters and free drinks. I mean I'm sitting down after ordering drinks and the waitress is like "somebody ordered you a lobster and said thank you...." I get it and it's a fuckin lobster on a plate!

I'm scared to even touch this shit! So I play it cool and look at the other people eating thiers and follow suit.

Since rockland is such a small town, our huge warship can't pull in, so we have to take a ferry to and fro. The last ferry leaves for the ship at like 1:45 and if you miss it, you're SOL till like 9am the next morning. Now in a town like this there's always one spot that the youth go to. It's called the time out pub. At the time me and lloyd really weren't that cool, even though we worked together, cause the word on him was that his breath was on BROIL 24/7 and he needed to gargle with paint thinner and throw a match in his mouth! I mean we hung with mutual friends and with him hearing how I get down we just ended up going out together (the buddy rule was in effect).



So after walking to the main attraction in the town which was a Wal-Mart, and just drinking most of the day, We end up in the "Time Out Pub" which was to the 20-somethings of rockland like "The Maxx" was to Zack and the Gang. So I meet a real sexy white chick with "that baa caa bia" accent and we're just grinding away, hands goin where they please, whispering in the ear, lap dancing, kissin.... I knew for sure I was jumping that night. So the club closes and we're walking outside, I see lloyd and he sees me with chick and he knows what time it is... when all of a sudden chick sees some dude she knows and is like "OMG" and runs to him with a full body hug...



WTF!!!!!

So Lloyd sees this and I know I've got a stupid look on my face.


I know I must look even stupider when they walk off together for the parking lot.... My lurst is an inferno inside of me that refuses to not be quenched! I've gotta feed the flames somehow. It's about 1:40 when I get a call from my dog smith saying...


"Aye, where you at? You gonna miss the last ferry!"


Me: damn, it left yet?


"Yeah, I'm on it now... it's leaving now"


Me: FUCK........


With our two lursty protagonists stranded in the middle of anytown USA, with a chance at "sunshine enchantment" lost and "closing time" playing in the background. No way to get home, and a hotel out of the question. Whatever will they do?To be continued in..... Lursty and Lurstier 2:

until then some of the only surviving pictures of my lobsterfest experience