The way it is

"Listen up people don't stand to near I've got something that you all should hear, holy matrimony's not for me, rather die alone in misery"
Everytime I talk to my dog about girls and meeting new chicks I always feel like I'm defending my actions... I mean I believe that at 22 years of age, marriage is like a ball and chain, but companionship is hella cool or whatever right? So how the hell are you gonna find it unless you mingle and hang out with and assortment of different girls. So I try and tell my boy that and he's not tryna hear it, but this dude is married with a beautiful daughter, who I'm kinda like the Co-godfather and another child on the way. So I tell him his opinion is irrelevent, cause he's out of the game and doesn't know what's goin' on in the streets. Plus at one time he was just like me and right there with me tryna quench his lurst, but I guess he matured on my immature ass huh? But me I'm in these streets so to speak.
I know that the average girl wants to have fun, doesn't want to get married and doesn't want to be seen as a slut, she just wants a good looking, drama free, intelligent man, who's got something going for himself, or at least appears to have something going for himself. I'm all that I like to think, So knowing that I feel like there's not much he can tell me... so we argue back and forth about it being fucked up that I go out with girls and have no intention of really settling down, you don't respect yourself and you look for girls who don't respect themselves either... but I tell him he's so got me fucked up... it's called COURTING and when a guy and a girl have a physical attraction to each other... things happen so you can't say I have no morals and neither does she. Plus how can you know who you are meant to be with if you don't actively search... I mean you could wait on fate to bring you together. But I think that lurst will get to you before fate does! Like I always say Lurst is a bitch, and she's real persistent and can make you do some wild shit! But that's just what's goin on with me right about now... and now I have to help paint his living room "Dorito nacho cheese brown", his house is actually very nice but I think his fireplace is in the wrong place and he needs to adjust the focal point, but what do I know?

Insert appropriate title here

But That's the way things are I guess... It could just be that I can't separate sex from emotion or read into things too much. I unfortunately do both of those things, but that's not the case here...but it is what it is right? I don't think it'll ever be a 143 type thing, but I'll always remember the time I spent with her and just hope things are going her way cause she'll always have a place in my heart, and as corny as that sounds it's all dead ass. Ya felt?

It never ceases to amaze me how finding out certain things can change the way I do things... here I am about to put somebody on blast for doing them, well not really put on blast per se... but just put out there. When I'm doing the same or probably worse. But that's just the way it is... anyways I've been slacking on my blog shit I started, but I've got some pretty crazy criticism... "what type of nigga does shit like that, what type of nigga is you" had me dying... but yeah I'm sitting here talkin to my roomate about these girls out here and it's like every girl I talk to nowadays has a child or two! Like it's the cool thing to do, and these girls are about like 24-25 with 7 year olds and shit... So I'm like how comes all these girls have kids, how comes there's no single fathers... and he's like it's cause of guys like you... Now I kind of take offense to that because I don't consider myself that kind of guy... he's all like "do you know how hard it is for a girl with kids to meet a guy, and when a girl meets a guy it's a package deal" I don't believe that shit.. I feel like everytime a girl meets a guy and she's got kids, she's not looking for a daddy or a husband... I mean shit girls just wanna have fun too you know! Having a child doesn't mean courting goes out the window, you know? So if she meets a guy and he might go to the movies with her and her kids, it's still a date but the kids just happen to be there right? So my boy Lloyd co-signs with my roomate and the argument still rages on today...

Why I can't stop

I need to put a stop to what I'm doing, I made a promise to myself at the start of year but I just justify breaking it by blaming it on lurst, but hopefully my new living situation will change all that.But it's like I'm just floating through life for real, it's like between working on my fitness, hitting the books and work all I do is hang out and go to the clubs. What could be fuckin me up though is that we only go out on wednesday and thursday cause the rest of the days are for the youngn's and a lot of young chicks I've met before are talkin' about what I'm talkin' about, but I'm not talkin' about what they're talkin about... so my weekends mostly consist of making beats and listening to vinyl or hitting up thrift store to purchase said vinyl. But the more and more time I have on my hands the more and more I find myself spending it writing, it is very calming and hella cool to see my thoughts down on "paper". Especially since I'm thinking about chronicling a lot of my experiences, cause my memory is like a fucking elephant with some things. But if only there was a medium where people could actually see my shit... hmm.....

We got em in today...

Five simple words. Yet I'm off to get 'em like a J gettin' a fix.

i (heart) Tropical Smoothie

I love Tropical Smoothie, I'm kinda crazy about thier little sandwiches deals too... Nothin really else to say, I just can't wait 'till I fill up my VIP card and can get a free smoothie!!!

hmmph

I really seems like writing is almost as theraputic as talkin to a good listener you know? I've heard somewhere that writing is like putting poison from the pen to the paper but whatever I'm full of kind of comes out and it brings a smile to my face after I write something good... but anyway a lot of shit has happened but in the grand scheme of things small potatoes.. But whatever right, I've lost a huge pastime of mine, we'll it's really not a pastime but when I did certain things it would be epecially for this, but now no mas.... hopefully somebody will crank it up again but it'll never be the same. I've seen the power of a determined crackhead and that is pretty powerful! I've seen how materialistic and petty I have been and still am because I see so many things with covetous eyes. I want to covet with my eyes. But the crazy thing is that the chick who put me on trying to cut something out of my life for at lest a lil bit is wasn't bout what she was talkin bout or either I listened to hard... I also had the script flipped on me REAL hard and it's got me really thinkin' wierd shit and for a while really had me actin' like a herb, and even now I as I write this it's hard not to feel like a herb, it's probably because I've got constant reminders of this bamboozelement and I'm not strong enough to get rid of them and do and what I need to do. I'd rather let my brosef live as a zombie than do what I need to do and blow his ass off you know... and no situation I'm in is that serious but there are comparisons, I can't pull the trigger.I'm hitting the books again and really don't want to speak too much on this because education and learning isn't cool, that's why I keep my books in a pizza box... I'm back working on my fitness after a enjoyable hiatus and in the same vein as that i am trying hard and sticking to my new years promise to myself, and it's so hard because lurst is a muddafucka but I'm stronger than the lurst aren't I?